


Tethered

by Dolphen



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 59,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolphen/pseuds/Dolphen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Marry me now. Make it the last thing we do. Let's steal that from them at least." […] It was as if I could read Guy's soul, and what I saw at this very instant made me make the gesture which changed the rest of our lives. </p><p>This story concerns Guy of Gisborne and Marian. It's not a pro-Robin Hood and not a pro Robin/Marian one. Also Robin can seem a little OOC.</p><p>The story is rated for teen and up audiences in generally though some chapters can seem a little more "spicy" but they are not that much to be rated "mature".  So, proceed with caution.</p><p>If you think the rate is too low, don't hesitate to tell me and I will change it. Thanks :)</p><p>Enjoy ^^</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

"Marry me now. Make it the last thing we do. Let's steal that from them at least."

Guy was looking directly in my eyes, and the intensity of his look melted my heart and made my blood boil. In an instant, all the things he'd done for me overwhelmed me as much as the certainty of his undying love for me. I had been so surprised and so proud of him when he came back to fight beside me while he could have saved his life. That was not the first time he put aside his desires, his wishes and even his purposes to please me, help me or save me. I had always been moved by his pure and devoted love for me but this time, this was so much more, so profound… it was as if I could read his soul, and what I saw at this very instant made me make the gesture which changed the rest of our lives.

"Let's do it," I whispered, reaching to take his hand in mine while his eyes opened wide, a shocked expression on his face – doubt, sadness, I couldn't put my finger on it but it wasn't a happy one, I was sure of it.

"Are you mocking me?" he asked, his voice sounding almost hurt.

I squeezed his hand in mine to prevent him from pulling away and put my other hand on his, encircling it in a warm embrace.

"I'm serious. Come, we haven't a lot of time." I guided him downstairs where the priest had finished preparing the room for the future casualties. I was in such a hurry! At this moment, I knew I was right to marry him; I was overwhelmed by his brave actions and all the feelings that roared through me.

But, like an icy hand squeezing my heart a terrible thought came to my mind… what if I was wrong… He was after all a devilish man or at least the henchman of the devil himself… would I be tethered forever to such a man? Forever? Well no. We had at most a few hours to live. And I certainly would never let him die alone after all he has done for me since we met. So, I lengthened my pace and I forbade myself from thinking or waiting anymore before the wedding.

Guy followed me in a daze, as if he couldn't believe what was happening. It was like he had wished this moment for so long that he didn't realize that finally he would have what he had wanted more than anything.

On the way to the Great Hall, I called to Allan-A-Dale and Sarah, my maidservant, telling them they would be our witnesses. I was surprised at how determined and organised I could be for once while Guy stood beside me as if he was sleepwalking. Allan raised an eyebrow to me and, understanding I was serious, teased me mercilessly, knowing his master was too much in a daze to react.

"So, _that_ kiss was real after all." His reference to our 'fake' kiss while I was trying to save Robin made me blush. "I never knew you had that in you, Marian… Ouch!" He couldn't say more, Sarah slapping him on the back of his head to silence him.

When I explained our request to the priest, he was a little reluctant at first because he remembered too well our first attempt at a wedding. Yet, when he saw the resolution in my eyes and posture, he agreed and told us we had already had the first part of the ceremony, so, since the time was short before the attack, we would go directly to the vows.

That was the moment when Guy finally took in the situation and, glancing at everyone in the room, he told them in a deep and strong voice that for now our marriage would be secret, at least until the situation with Sir Jasper and the siege was over. I sent him an inquiring look and he answered me earnestly, "I want you to be mine and only mine for now." A shadow of his usual smug smile appeared on his lips making me poke at his chest playfully while biting my lower lip… something I regretted as soon as I saw how he licked his lips in response.

We were called to order by the priest and we became serious once more. While Guy's eyes revealed his love for me and how much this moment meant to him, he said his vows earnestly, making me swallow hard at his intensity. But he couldn't succeed totally at hiding his anxiousness; I saw his forehead creased in worry, nearly shaking with the effort it took to control his nerves – would I leave him again to be mocked and humiliated?

I couldn't bear his doubts, not after all he has done for me. So, when it was my turn, I took his hand in mine and stroked it with my thumb while locking my eyes with his. It was so intense that his lips parted in a sigh that sounded more like a moan and sent shivers down my spine.

Coughing a little to have our attention, the priest finally asked for the ring. I was ready to say that I could do without since we didn't have time to get one when, to my surprise and without breaking eye contact with me, Guy reached into the pocket inside of his jacket and showed me the same ring he gave me for our betrothal - the one I loved so much but fought against because it was from him - the one with the little flowers.

Guy started to slip the ring on my finger, his hand trembling with apprehension and excitement. I lowered my eyes then looking at our hands, remembering the other time when we lived this moment, feeling how different this time was.

"With this ring I thee wed…" he said while sliding the ring on my finger. It felt so right that my heart missed a beat… unless it was because of the husky voice my new husband used, so much deeper than I had ever heard it.

"… with my body I thee worship…" At his words, my eyes raised instantly to his and I was lost in the intensity and passion he radiated. I was burning like never before and our only contact was our hands… suddenly I was actually happy that we would be fighting and we would likely never have our honeymoon because I wasn't sure I could survive such passion. Not because I feared his strength and thought he would hurt me but I was certain than in his arms, he would make me feel so much that it would be the death of me. I couldn't suppress the violent blush creeping across my cheeks at such thoughts. It was like when I had seen him half-naked in front of the fire at Locksley all over again. If Robin hadn't been there, I had no doubt my virtue would have been lost forever…the sensations I felt now were even more passionate, more ardent, leaving me breathless, not even taking the trouble to listen the rest of his vows… I was already far away from here.

I only came back to reality when Guy whispered my name, chuckling a little, his expression telling me it wasn't the first time he'd said it.

"Sorry," I murmured, ashamed, lowering my head and not even daring to look at him or the priest.

Guy tenderly placed his hand on my cheek, stroking it and lifting my face to him. "It's alright… wife _._ "

The joy, pride, love and passion in his voice when he said this simple word, as if he savored it, made me look up at him again. He smiled widely but then his face took on a more serious and intense expression and he lowered his head, his lips coming near mine. I had feared this contact even if I had agreed with the wedding, afraid I would change my mind because of my feelings for Robin. But the very second his lips brushed mine it was as if everything else faded away. It was so different than before, it was like I discovered a new world of sensation, a world only he could provide and I couldn't get enough of it. That's why when he started to step back and let me go, I wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping him close to me as I took possession of his lips. I had already done that once before – like Allan had mentioned earlier trying to embarrass me - to save Robin's life, but I was on "mission" then. This time it was for me, for him, for _us_ … it was only for pleasure, and pleasure was what I was feeling. Stunned at first, Guy quickly recovered and hugged me back so tightly that I moaned in discomfort at first, but it changed to delight when he loosened his grip and deepened the kiss.

In our own little world, we didn't even notice when the priest and Sarah, who dragged an intrusive Allan by his ear (whining loudly at the offense,) left the room, letting us enjoy the last minutes of peace and happiness we could share before the attack.

Finally, we needed to take breath again or risk fainting. Guy leaned down to my neck, nuzzling it with his nose and kissing it lightly. He had done this before, but that time I had tried to focus on other things to keep a clear head; now, I just enjoyed the feel of his lips and stubble against my skin, wondering how I could have lived without this sensation. Robin had kissed me plenty of times and he even touched me the same way Guy was now. At the time I had thought it was the most delicious sensation ever. Now, it could have laughed at the thought. How could I even try to compare Robin's fumbling with Guy's shy but ardent expression of his love, need and devotion for me? Suddenly, I tightened my arms around Guy's back, pressing his hard body even closer to mine while I banished thoughts of Robin from my mind.

Finally, Guy raised his head and locked his eyes with mine. Though we didn't kiss again we also didn't end the hug just yet. It was as if everything was said between us in only one look. We knew we would die soon but at least neither of us was lonely anymore, we had one another and if I was sure of his undying love for me, he was certain of how much I cared earnestly for him at this moment. Those feelings would help us to bear the unavoidable end.

Allan coughed and said "It's time, they've arrived."

Without letting me go, Guy told him we would join them all in a moment. After Allan left us, he gave me a little peck on the lips, unwrapped his arms from around me, took my hand firmly in his and said "Come, wife!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To explain the beginning of this fanfiction, I did a video "It's Our Fight". (You can see it at dolphen3's channel on Youtube.)
> 
> English is not my first language. Brokenheirloom, you made a wonderful job as my beta, doing it as soon as you could while I send a very long chapter to do in a very few time! Thank you so much!
> 
> I want also to thanks every one of you who read the first chapter, gave kudos to it and for the suscribe and the bookmark.
> 
> It's my first story here and I want to thank you for welcoming it so kindly! :)

When we arrived back at the Great Hall, Guy squeezed my hand one last time before releasing it slowly. I was instantly disturbed by the lack of contact. I looked him in the eyes, searching for a reason for his behavior and found him smiling a little. When he winked at me, it was as if a wave of relief overwhelmed me; nothing was wrong, he acted only as he had said earlier: only Sarah, Allan, the priest and us had to know about our marriage for now.

I couldn't understand much less explain why I felt sad about keeping it secret and at the same time proud to share such an intimate connection with him, a connection than even the Sheriff – if he was still alive – could never have with Guy. For now, even if it was hidden, I was the closest person to this handsome black knight and it thrilled me to have been chosen.

After this little silent conversation, Guy opened the heavy doors of the Great Hall and let me pass before him. When we entered in the room, the silence fell like a lead weight. I could feel how tense everyone was at Guy's appearance: some because they feared to have him in control, some because they knew having him here meant they would need to fight, others because they didn't quite understand why he came back when he had the chance to leave; did that mean he wasn't as bad as they had thought?

My husband stood still for a moment, bracing himself for what to come. He let out a little sigh that only I heard and walked into the room, near the banister, looking at everyone in the hall upstairs and downstairs. To bolster his courage, I followed him and stood at his side, trying to steady my breath and my pounding heart as if it could help him to relax a little.

"Men and Women of Nottingham," he started to say in a deep, resonating voice, "you know that since this morning the Sheriff has been declared missing and Prince John's emissary, Sir Jasper, as ordered by the Prince John himself, has called military troops to destroy Nottingham."

A collective shudder seemed to run through the whole hall and along my spine, pushing me to get closer to my husband. He seemed to notice it and his hand stroked mine tenderly as if nothing had happened. Well… nothing except the warm wave that went through me that completely overwhelmed my senses. I inhaled deeply while closing my eyes to regain my control and tried to focus on my husband's speech.

"They are here to kill us, all of us! We will not let them do it, we must fight!"

A rumble of approval could be heard throughout the hall.

"I know that few of you have experienced this kind of fight before…"

Guy grew silent for a moment, as if trying to find the best words to use while he looked intently at some of the citizens. Finally, as if he had come to a decision, he nodded several times and added:

"No! I know that _everyone_ in this town has fought all their lives to survive." I looked at him, surprised as the meaning of his words dawned on me. "This is another sort of battle but the purpose is the same! You will not need to work in the fields; you will not need your shovel or your pickaxe to tend the land. But you will need your shovel and your pickaxe to save your life and the lives of your families."

A respectful silence reigned in the hall, everyone – including myself – mesmerized by his speech. Gone was his condescending behavior, his cold, brutish exterior… he was a real leader now. A leader whose face showed his conviction, how determined he was. His tone was magnified by his passion as every word was spoken, and my feelings for him - respect and pride and awe - engraved themselves on my heart forever.

"I will not lie to you. This fight means death for most of us, if not everyone. But will we let them burn our city, destroy our lives and kill our families?"

A murmur of approval started in the room, which only increased until it became a roar as Guy's galvanizing speech continued.

"We will die if need be, we will die to protect everyone here! We will fight! Fight for our lives, for our families, for our HOME!"

I saw Guy's eyes widen as the last word came out of his mouth and, in a daze, he turned to me, opening his lips as to say something. But he stopped then and, taking my arm, led me outside the hall, dragging me to a nearby empty room.

* * *

As soon as we were inside, he pinned me against the door, his face open as I never had seen it and said in the most passionate and loving voice I ever heard:

"Oh Marian! Marian! I finally understand! I finally understand what my father said when he said lands were not everything. And when my mother said the most important was the meaning of the heart, she was so right! Marian, all my life I searched to have wealth, position and lands, thinking it would make me happy, this will be my home… but I was so wrong, so terribly wrong… I don't need wealth, position or even lands. All I need is you… _you_! You are my wealth, you are my future, but more important than any of that: you are my… HOME!"

He came closer to me, his body crushing me against the door but I didn't mind. I was totally bewitched by his words, by their meaning and by the effect his body had on mine.

"My home… oh Marian, I never thought I could feel so whole one day. I know we will die tonight but if only for this second, I feel whole thanks to you."

His ardent eyes burned into me, searing my brain and my heart. Breathing was difficult; each word he added seemed both a heavy burden and the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me. When he leaned down I parted my lips in anticipation, wanting so much to share the passionate kiss I imagined he would give me. But he didn't. To my utter surprise, he buried his head against my breast, his hot breath sending a shiver across my skin as he whispered my name again and again. I was nearly fainting from the sensations running through my body so I clutched at him to regain my balance.

Our intimate and fervent moment was violently interrupted by Allan's shouts as he burst into the corridor of the castle.

"Guy! The first line has been destroyed! They got through the front door."

His words provoked a cacophony from the frightened villagers. Guy separated himself from me and ran to Allan.

"How many casualties?"

"All of 'em. They're dead."

My husband closed his eyes before asking, "What happened? Sir Jasper said we had until sunset."

"I'm not being funny but he lied. He sent a small group of men that got into the city by climbing the wall. They took the first line from behind, destroyed them all and opened the front door." Allan paused for breath. "I managed to escape them but they are at the second door. The archers are ready but the gate won't last long."

Guy put his hand to his mouth in a gesture I knew him using when he was really nervous or anxious. He focused his eyes on one far away point thinking what to do next. He nodded several times as if he had made a decision and turning his back to us his voice rang out in a commanding tone:

"Gillis," – it was his first and loyal lieutenant – "take twenty men and prepare an escape route for the second line. You will be our back up. As soon as we are near you, let us pass and shoot at any pursuer." Guy paused and met his lieutenant's gaze. "We haven't a lot of arrows, so use them wisely."

"Yes, Sir." Gillis turned to follow his orders.

"Gillis…" The lieutenant turned back to Guy and my husband hesitated a moment before adding gruffly, "You and your men… be careful and came back safely. We will need you for the final battle, I'm afraid."

Gillis nodded and left the room. I stared at my new husband during the exchange and was surprised to see that Guy was genuinely distressed by the idea that he could lose an excellent and loyal man. I had been told that Gillis was well-liked by the servants of the castle: he was kind and fair, trying to avoid the Sheriff as much as possible and being utterly faithful to Guy.

"Marian," I jumped in surprise when I heard my name; gone was the sweet and passionate tone he used with me earlier. For now, Guy wasn't my husband, he was the leader, and he was giving orders to save us all. And for the first time, when I saw the intensity of his expression I realized he was pleading with me to agree with him without arguing. I nodded, waiting for his direction. Relief softened his features for a second before he spoke, his voice a little less tense:

"My lady, can you gather together all the women and children and keep them in the Great Hall? We need to know that you are all in a safe place so we can concentrate on our duty."

His eyes were burning as they were when we were alone only moments before. His words warmed my body, heart and soul; like always, his first concern was that I was safe. I smiled sweetly to him, assuring him that everything would be done the way he ordered it. He nodded and I heard several sighs of relief in the room, people visibly pleased to know that their leader had secured their families.

"Allan, you come with me to the second gate…"

"Hey, Giz… don't you think I should stay here… you know… to help Maz with the women and chil…"

Guy locked his gaze with Allan's and told him in a voice that allowed for no argument, "You… come… with… me! We have to hold the door as long as possible. We need more time… maybe the Sheriff will come back…"

Guy, Allan and I exchanged looks, hoping against hope that Robin could find Vaisey in time and bring him back before the final assault. Finally, the younger man sighed deeply and bowed his head in an obedient nod, leaving the room while mumbling to himself that it was always the same, that he was always the one to be in the first line, that he deserved better and that he didn't want to be funny, but…

Guy couldn't suppress an annoyed sigh even as he hid a little smile at his squire's behavior. I liked knowing that finally Guy had people he really liked or cared for around him… Gillis seemed honest in his attachment to his superior. Allan was more like an irritating little brother… that thought brought a smile to my lips but I stopped daydreaming as soon as my husband's hand lightly stroked my arm.

We were alone but Allan was waiting at the door, clearly keeping watch. Guy was in front of me and with a sad smile he put his hands on my face and brushed my lips with his. They were warm, sweet and I tried to deepen the kiss but he pushed me back slowly with an apologetic smile.

"I have to go" he whispered.

"Godspeed, my Lord" I wished him while stroking his cheek with my hand one last time.

"A Dieu vat, my Lady" he said, and then he was gone.

* * *

Suddenly, all the weight of all the events of the day became unbearable and a sob escaped me, my knees shaking, and I could only stand thanks to Sarah who ran to my side to assist me. I buried my head on her shoulder and for some minutes, I wept quietly, shushed by Sarah's tender words promising me that all would be well. I knew she didn't think it but only wanted to comfort me, and as soon as the thought occurred to me, I regained control of myself. I was the Lady of the Castle now, I couldn't let everyone down. I needed to set an example, to be here for the people, not to be soothed like an infant.

I thanked Sarah wholeheartedly and then headed to the Great Hall, encouraging every woman and child to follow me to be safe. I tried to concentrate on my task as much as I could but my mind kept wandering to the second secured gate of the Castle and to a certain tall dark haired man who was now mine. Was he safe? Was he wounded? How were things going for them? I tensed up a little more every moment I waited and I even surprised myself by praying to God to save all those brave men, and one in particular… my husband. I'd never prayed for him before but it seemed so natural now. How could I have neglected to ask God to change his mind and to give him the strength to follow his heart by escaping the Sheriff's power? I had prayed for Robin every night for the first three years after his departure to Acre. After that, I tried to avoid thinking of him because I was too angry and every thought of him was only pain to my heart.

Robin! Could he have found the Sheriff by now? Why didn't he bring him back? I knew that he would never let us all die without trying anything he could think of to help us. But the time was shorter than ever and we were without any sign of him.

I felt somehow ashamed thinking about Robin now that I had married Guy. Particularly when I thought of the kisses we had shared, thoughts that made my cheeks burn when I remembered those heated moments. I knew that Robin would be furious if he knew about my marriage to Guy and that he would do his best to make me a widow as soon as possible. I was stunned by how awkward I felt about that notion. I wanted to be with Robin, at least I did when I was sure I would see another morning, but I couldn't imagine a world without Guy in it. That was the thought that had pushed me to marry him in the first place, to not let him die alone, but to die with him and show him that he could have been loved even if I didn't exactly feel the same kind of love that he felt for me.

I was sure Robin would not comprehend why I did that but that didn't matter anymore. I was Guy's wife and I would die at his side… No, that was not true! I wasn't at his side! And even as I tried to persuade myself that I was needed here to comfort and protect the women and children, my mind and heart made me suffer unbearably over not being with him on the battlefield. I needed to keep myself busy or I would have run to my chamber, slipped on my Nightwatchman's clothes and gone to find Guy to fight beside him. I chuckled for a moment at the thought of Guy's face seeing the Nightwatchman fighting _with_ him instead of _against_ him. I coughed a little when I saw the startled look some people sent me after hearing my giggle. The last thing I needed was people thinking I lost my mind…

" _Dear and merciful Father_ ," I prayed in the silence of my heart, " _please, keep Guy under your watch and bring him back home. If we have to die, at least let us die together. Please, dear God, don't let him die alone, please. He needs to be with me to be comforted and loved in his last moments…_ " I hesitated for an instant before pouring my heart out before God: " _as much as I need him to be with me_."

I felt so strange to have voiced such thoughts in my prayers. It was awkward but true: I really needed him, particularly if these were our last moments on earth.

* * *

A deep voice yelling orders made me to run to the door. "Guy!" I whispered overwhelmed by relief as soon as I saw him, telling everyone what to do while the few remaining men found shelter in the courtyard. As the last men entered, the heavy gate was closed and locked. But it only gave us an impression of safety because sunset was now on us, the count-down was nearly finished and Sir Jasper would launch his troops on us like a wolf-pack against their poor prey.

Calm had followed all the commotion of the soldiers' return. The wounded were treated, families tried to share their last tender moments while the lonely ones checked their weapons to keep their mind busy and to avoid the moving scenes surrounding them. The dead were laid aside, as respectfully as we could manage, and I realized that we could be joining them soon… I tried to push away those thoughts and searched for my husband.

I found him leaning against a wall, his arms folded over his chest, his face grim. I came to stand beside him, saying nothing, and I hesitated for a moment before I reached out and placed my hand on the middle of his back, stroking it slowly. Guy stiffened at first but then relaxed, comforted by my touch. It was all we could do without being seen by everyone, but it was something and that was all that mattered.

Suddenly, Sir Jasper's voice echoed through the courtyard saying time had run out. He launched the attack. As soon as he said it, Guy yelled to everyone to go back to the Great Hall. I went first to be sure everyone downstairs was ready for the wounded, my heart beating so hard against my chest I was sure it would burst right out of it.

Finally, when we heard the gate collapse, the men formed two lines along the sides of the corridor, ready to fight to the death. My husband stood in the middle of the corridor, against the banister, his sword out of its sheath.

Never since I met him had I ever seen him more handsome or majestic. I was in awe of the serene expression he wore, of the strength he showed, inspiring bravery to everyone. I came to him, my eyes locked on his face, and as soon as I joined him I took his hand in mine and wrapped my other hand around his arm. He shivered under my touch and looked back at me, his eyes softened while whispering: "We've stolen that from them at least." I smiled sadly at him, tightening my grip on his arm, but we both jumped in surprise as an unmistakable voice made itself heard:

"Gisborne!"

I stood still, too stunned to move while Guy, bemused, looked at me before hurrying out. A wave of relief passed through the corridor while everyone took in the meaning of what happened: Vaisey was back and no matter how despicable this idea was, he had saved everyone's life! Family reunited in a joyful delight, soldiers lowered their weapons with relief written clearly on their faces, and happiness had replaced the terror everyone had felt just moments before.

Sarah hugged me tightly, saying something but I was in too much shock to hear her. I couldn't believe what just happened. When the realization finally hit me that we were going to live, I hugged my friend back, a chorus in my head repeating over and over, " _We are alive! We will live! Thank you God! Thank you for saving us! Thank you for saving me! Thank you for saving my…_ "

Suddenly, I realized the meaning of the last word I was saying: " _…husband_." I was married! I was married to… Guy! My heart beat so hard it hurt. What did I do? What would happen now? How could I handle this situation? I had betrayed Robin! I had married Guy, his nemesis! Did I have to stay? Did I have to run?

I had married Guy and was prepared to go to my death beside him. But… was I ready to share the rest of my life with him?


	3. Chapter 3

After all the commotion, I tried to relax in my bedchamber. My mind was rebellious and wouldn't leave me in peace for even an instant. It was as if all of Nottingham had decided to meet in my head and everyone was screaming as if their lives depended on it. In this terrible chaos, two voices overwhelmed the others with their intensity.

" _You promised to marry me, Marian! You betrayed me! How could you marry him?" "You are my wife Marian! You can't leave me!" "Marian, how could you deal with our enemy?" "Marian, you will stay with me willingly or not!"_

Then the tones changed to pleading and begging: _"Don't leave me, Marian, I need you to make this world bearable." "Marian, you've loved me since we were kids, please come back to me." "I came back for you, to die with you, to be with you… don't leave me now, please…"_ My sobs made my body shudder when my tortured mind perfectly reproduced the desperate tone Guy used with me when he wanted me to believe how strong his feelings for me were.

I felt like a monster… I thought I had made the best decision by marrying Guy, and it really was at the time, but Vaisey's return changed everything and now my wise decision was simply another torment to bear for the two men who loved me so much. What could I do? What decision should I make?

I was sitting on my bed, leaning against one of the bed posts. Robin's emerald engagement ring was on my lap near my left hand where Guy's beautiful wedding ring adorned my finger. I had always loved the ring he gave me even if I had pretended not to on my first betrothal to Guy. It was so pretty, so dainty and simple. I had marveled at how Guy could have chosen this ring over one with more flash, something I would have expected based on his desire to show his possessions and wealth. But no, this one had been perfect! A lot better than the ring he gave me on our first attempt at a wedding… I couldn't believe he had kept my betrothal ring near his heart. I always supposed Guy had a sensitive side but now, the more I discovered how important it was to him the guiltier I felt thinking I might have to break his heart again. I told Robin that Guy had been deprived of love, that it was the reason why he acted as if nothing or nobody could touch him. I was probably the only one who knew how wrong this idea was. How would he handle it if I left him again?

On the other hand, Robin's ring was exactly the kind I hated: large, heavy, gaudy… We had grown up together and he did not even know what I liked. Nothing surprising in that - he never had any real interest in anything except his own desires and wishes. He was so childish sometimes, so selfish; he craved glory and praise so desperately. At those times, I couldn't even bear to be near him, but sometimes he was just… _Robin_ , with his luminous smile, his contagious laugh, his way of living as if nothing could affect him. With him, everything seemed easier because he changed every burden we had to bear into a laugh, even when he didn't have to.

I loved being with him, being in his arms, and when he kissed me I loved the sensation. He made me feel like no one ever had… no… that wasn't exactly true. It _was_ true, until I met Guy…

Oh My God, just saying his name in my mind made my cheeks burn at the memory of the embraces and the heated kisses we shared. Being in his arms was not just a pleasant feeling; I _craved_ it now that I had experienced it. And his kisses… I licked my lips just at the thought of them. Tonight would be our  wedding night. If I stayed here with him, he would make me his wife for real. Did I want it; was I afraid, thrilled, anxious, excited? I couldn't answer this question because someone knocked at my door and after hearing my permission to come in, Sarah entered.

"My lady, Sir Guy asks you to join him and the Sheriff for dinner. He said that the Sheriff is in a terrible state of mind and so he begs you to not be late, to wear your most beautiful gown and to do your best to be patient with him tonight."

I could feel Sarah's discomfort while she gave me my husband's message. I smiled to ease her mind and she started to redo my hair after I changed my gown. As requested by Guy, I decided to wear the dark dress I used the last night of Count Friedrich's visit. Guy had tried to hide how much he liked my dress yet I had been thrilled knowing how jealous he was and how much desire I saw in his eyes then. I had to scold myself over that night, how I had been so happy to make him suffer while I hadn't any interest in him, and because I was on a mission… but tonight, when he would see me in my gown, it would be different…

Before leaving my chamber, I gave a last look at my wedding ring and, reluctantly, I slid it off of my finger; as Guy had said, nobody had to know for now. That notion lightened the tension in my body a little.

* * *

When I arrived in front of the Great Hall's door, I found my husband waiting for me, lost in his thoughts. As soon as he felt my presence, he turned his head to me and I saw how amazed he was by my appearance; my heart skipped a beat at the heat and desire I could see in his eyes. That was how I loved to see him looking at me: as if, for him, I was the only woman in the world, the only one worth fighting for. " _You are,_ " my mind told me with his deep voice, making my cheeks burn and my body shiver with a need I couldn't identify but which threatened to eat me alive.

He came to me, his eyes roaming over my body, lips half opened with a devastating lopsided smile.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Marian," he whispered huskily while taking my hands in his. I felt so pleased and embarrassed by the complement that I averted my eyes. Suddenly, I felt him stiffen: "Marian… where is your wedding ring?"

Gone was the seductive tone, gone was the tenderness and the desire I heard in his voice. What remained was only the surprise and the suspicion. I raised my eyes to him and took a step back when I saw his face; uncertainty and sadness had changed his features.

"You said you wanted to keep the wedding just between us earlier, I thought I should not wear it tonight…"

I tried to find a way to explain my way of thinking but as each word escaped my mouth, his face became darker, his stern expression taking its place again. He finally let go of my hands, giving me a last glance before turning to the door.

"I see…"

"Guy!" I said as I reached for his arm. "Did I do something wrong?" I was troubled; I only did what he asked of me. Why was he acting so strange?

Finally, he said without looking at me before heading to the Great Hall, "Nothing for now. But I know you so well, Marian. You will before long."

I stood still, trying to understand his words. What was he talking about? Did he know about the decision I was trying to make? Did he know me as well as he claimed he did? That thought was the most disturbing. I had always been proud of thinking I was unpredictable, but now…

"Come, we can't afford to irritate the Sheriff tonight."

Guy's voice was sad, low and strained; it hurt me so much. Would I always be the one to break his heart and make him suffer so much? I sighed deeply and followed him in the Great Hall.

The dinner was a real torture: Vaisey was angrier and more cynical than ever. His words were crude, said to hurt and were almost all directed at my husband who seemed already too affected to notice, but I knew better. Guy was lost in his thoughts about my earlier behavior yet by the way he clenched his jaw sometimes, he heard perfectly the poisoned arrows his superior launched directly at him. He didn't eat anything, avoiding my gaze even when I tried to attract his attention. He was more disturbed than I'd ever seen him and I felt so guilty that I couldn't stand seeing him so vulnerable. Vaisey's vicious innuendos were finally what made me lose my patience and my temper. Without warning, I arose so suddenly that my chair fell behind me.

"Excuse me, my Lord Sheriff," I said, blushing crimson as I received the full and startled attention of anyone in the room. "I'm exhausted. Would you be so kind as to allow me to go rest in my chamber, please?"

I saw Vaisey's sadistic eyes narrow as his mouth formed a pout while he thought for a moment. Finally, he waved his hand to me, saying flippantly, "Yes, leave us. You weren't funny at all anyway. Leave me with my Gizzy… At least he knows how to pretend to listen to me, am I right, Gizzy?"

I stiffened as much as Guy when Vaisey used the loathed nicknamed he loved to call his Master-at-Arms to drag him down. I tried for the last time to share a look with my husband but he kept his eyes averted deliberately causing me to leave the room faster than intended to hide my tears.

* * *

I ran to my chamber and let the tears flown freely. I hated how Vaisey chose to humiliate Guy in public! If I could have killed him now, at this very minute, I would do it without a second thought. Guy was already insecure by nature but each day of this treatment didn't help. It only served to hurt him more, to make him think he deserved such treatment, that nobody could love him and that nobody would stay with him… My sobs intensified at that thought; wasn't I the one who thought I needed to leave him?

" _Father, mother,_ " I begged my lost parents between my sobs, " _please help me! Guide me! I'm so lost… what do I have to do? Do I need to go back to Robin? Do I have to stay with Guy? Father, you were always wise, give me some advice. Mother, I don't even know what I feel anymore…_ "

Finally, I made my decision and, sliding my wedding ring back on my finger, I closed my door and went to Guy's bedchamber, the one we would share if I stayed here. Fearing to disturb him if Guy had retired, I knocked on the door but he was not there. So, I entered, sat on the bed and waited for his return.

The room was so like my husband that it made me smile; the chamber was simply decorated, his armor, shield and training swords were on the left side of his desk. A white porcelain basin and pitcher were near a silver comb. I could imagine that it was from his family because the silver looked antique and his coat of arms was carved on it. Other than that and a gold and black banner – the colors of the Gisborne family - pinned on the wall behind his desk, the room was almost anonymous. He lived here for 5 years but it was as if this room was a spare one and he a guest.

I closed my eyes and tried to ease my breath when I remembered what he said to me earlier, before the attack: " _I don't need wealth, position or even lands. All I need is you… you! You are my wealth, you are my future, but more important than any of that: you are my… HOME!_ "

"Marian? What are you doing here?"

Guy's grumpy voice made me jump and regained myself. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear him enter. He was in front of me, trying to hide how awkward he felt.

"I needed to talk to you, Guy…"

"Not now, Marian, please, not now!" he cut me off, walking to his desk and unfastening his sword belt, putting it carefully in its place and starting to open his jacket.

"Guy, I'm afraid it can't wait…"

"You're leaving, aren't you?" he asked, stilling his movement, his back to me.

I was so surprised I couldn't say anything else. He sighed deeply, his hand coming over his mouth in a habit I found oddly endearing.

"You only married me out of pity, didn't you? Because you thought we would die?"

His voice was low and desperate; there was no anger or irritation, just so much sadness it made my heart ache for him.

"It wasn't out of pity, I swear to you! I was earnest, you know that."

"And how would I know that?" he shouted as he turned to me.

"Because you know I care for you, Guy."

"You must think I am a fool," he said, and I flinched at the bitterness in his tone.

"I don't think that at all," I said while stepping closer to him, trying to ease his pain. "I have cared for you for longer than you know, and I always will. You are precious to me…"

"I am your husband, Marian. Your HUSBAND!" he insisted, reaching for my arms and pulling me so close to him that it took my breath away. "I could do anything I want to you now. No one would say anything against it. I could take you here and now, against your will."

I was enraptured by his tone; he was desperate, passionate and full of desire. Even his body pressed so tight against mine told me how much he wanted me. All those sensations added to my turmoil. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his neck sending a shiver coursing through his body. I locked my eyes in his and said in a shaking voice, "You wouldn't do that, we both know that. You would never hurt me on purpose."

Guy sighed deeply, raising his face to the heavens before leaning down to rest his forehead against mine.

"I want you, Marian, you have no idea how much. But you're right: I want you to be mine willingly. I want you to want me as much as I want you!"

I bit my lip to prevent me from confessing how much I wanted him right now. It would do no good; it would only add issues and pain we weren't ready to deal with. But focused like I was to keep my need under control, I couldn't help but raise my hand to his cheek, stroking it slowly. He put his hand on mine, sighed and let out a quiet sob that crushed my heart.

"I know you need to go, Marian. All of yesterday's events, our wedding…were too much to handle at once. And I know you, you need to get away to think and take time to make up your mind. As much as it saddens me, I can understand."

He had buried his hand in my hair and I was quite overwhelmed by what he did to me with his touch and that deep voice.

"I know, too, that you lied to me about Robin… you never stopped caring for him. I saw it when he came to help us yesterday. You married me because you thought we would both die, but if you'd known we had another day, you would have pushed me away as always…"

I started to deny his accusation but Guy put one gentle finger to my mouth to shush me. Then he traced my lips with his fingertip, making sparks of electricity course through my body.

"I will let you go, Marian, I promise…"

I was ready to argue but Guy locked his eyes on mine and all the things I saw in his look kept me silent, waiting for what would come next.

"I will let you go if you give me one thing in return…"

"Name it?" I whispered in a shy voice.

"Share this night with me. Stay with me, all the night…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :)
> 
> As I don't really know what Teen-up rating means and that I didn't want to have any issue, I decided to change the rating to "Mature".
> 
> It is probably to high a rank to my story but I prefer to be careful.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and thanks for all your kudos! So glad you like this story :)

I slid further beneath the blankets, trying to ease my ragged breathing while waiting for him to come join me in the bed. I was terribly anxious and, to my utter shame, excited to feel his body so close to mine. My mind was racing so fast it was giving me headache. I couldn't believe I agreed to stay tonight but he was so shy and so disarming while asking that I could not have denied him anything.

_"Share this night with me. Stay with me, just for tonight…"_

_I couldn't breathe when I heard his proposal. Was he really asking me to stay so he could bed me? He agreed to let me go if I gave myself to him? Apparently he saw my distress because he put his_ _warm hand_ _on my cheek and, stroking it tenderly, he added with a husky voice:_

" _Don't be afraid, Marian. I'm not asking you to…"_ _he_ _had struggled to find the words to say it while licking his lips, his eyes on my mouth. "… to sleep with me. I want to have one night, this one night, near you, just to hold you…"_

_My eyes widened at the thought of his strong arms holding me all night close to his rock hard chest. At the same time, I felt a little disappointed that he was only thinking about sleeping in my arms and not making me his wife completely… I scowled silently at myself and blushed crimson at the turn of my thoughts. The look he gave me didn't help to ease the tension; his eyes were ardent with passion and awe, his lips a little open and shining with moisture when he licked them. Oh my… he was so incredibly attractive that I had to force myself into staying still so I wouldn't give in and kiss him._

_Met by my silence but also fully aware of my indecisiveness, he'd stroked my cheek and with a feather-soft touch of his thumb he had brushed my lips and whispered a barely audible: "Please…" His voice was just a rumble which reverberated through my body and send sparks all the way to my stomach. I felt weak in the knees and nodded without even noticing it._

Guy had left me in his room while taking his evening watch turn. I had earlier dismissed Sarah for the night before coming to talk with him so I was on my own to prepare for bed. I untied the laces of my gown and took it off, keeping my shift on. I felt safer in it that than my sleeping shirt which was made with lighter fabric and was much more transparent. I let my hair down - I thought he would prefer it that way. " _Stupid,_ " I said to myself, " _you don't want to seduce him, you just have to lie with him, in his bed, in his sheets… in his arms_ …" the last thought made me shudder with need; since he took me in his wonderfully warm arms today, I only dreamed of snuggling in them again. So having the chance to do it so soon and for the entire night provoked an extraordinary elation that was tempered with fear: fear that in his arms, his needs – or mine, I admitted to myself – could turn that innocent moment into something quite different, something that would bind us together more than we already were.

With each passing minute my impatience grew; where was he? Wasn't he as anxious and eager to share this moment with me? Why was he taking so long? I sighed deeply and I was overwhelmed by my husband's scent clinging to the bedding. It was the smell of spice and warm skin and leather; the most masculine scent I have ever smelled. Certainly the only one who made me want to take him in my arms and bury my face against his neck just to inhale his scent and lose myself in it.

Guy had better come back soon or I wouldn't be able to restrain myself and… and what?

My mother died long before we could have the "mother-daughter" talk she would have had with me, to teach me what a good wife should to do to please her husband. Well, at one time when I was eleven, she let slip something that had always sounded odd and a little frightening: " _Not all men are like you father, Marian; your father is a good man, he is considerate when he wishes for me to perform my wifely duty when I would prefer not to. Most men aren't that way. They will take what they want, not considering what their wife wants or needs. One day you will understand. Your marriage will go smoothly if you remember that a wise woman doesn't argue and always tries to please her master even if she would rather not._ "

I had known about rape for as long as I lived; there were so many girls from the villages who had been forced by soldiers, travelers or even relatives… I had always been disgusted by those kind of acts. It was one of the reasons why I had taken the role as the Nightwatchman after Vaisey and his men came here. I had several times prevented such crimes and it always made me feel good knowing that girl would be safer a little longer.

But a husband abusing his wife was something that always disturbed me more because I had always seen my parents being happy - or at least they had shown a happy façade. So, when my mother told me sometimes my father expected her to do something she didn't want to do and that she complied only because he was her husband, it had, in some way, darkened my vision of my father. How could a man do such things to his wife if he loved her? Mother answered me by saying that it was the woman's lot in life, that it was the way it was and there was nothing to be done to change it. But I swore to myself that I would never let my husband do that to me or I would leave him or make him pay. Could Guy, with his fierce temper, be such a husband?

I couldn't go any further in my unhappy thoughts because there was a quick knock at the door just before it opened to reveal my husband. When he saw me lying in his bed, covers up to my chin, he took a deep breath and closed and barred the door behind him. I could have felt trapped as I was alone in his room with a locked door but I didn't. I just followed each and every movement he made; he tugged off his gloves and a flash of heat burned lower than usual in my stomach. Tossing his gloves on his desk, Guy took off his leather jacket and hung it up and then he sat in the chair near the fire and started to take off his boots and his breeches, keeping his braes on to my great relief. He stood up, his strong and impressive frame silhouetted against the firelight and, his back to me, asked slowly:

"Do you want me to keep my shirt or can I remove it?"

"Remove it," I answered eagerly before a chuckle of him made me realized what I'd just said. I felt ashamed to have admitted so passionately how much I wanted to see him half-naked again. That night at Locksley had been quite a discovery to me…the fact that I could be mesmerized by a human body… well, not "any" human body to be honest but by Guy's powerful, toned body. I never had been able to forget that vision and all the sensations it gave me: weakness in my knees, heat in my stomach, tingles on my fingertips and how it made me move my hand to his chest with the overwhelming desire to touch him, to slide my fingers over his soft skin. A little moan escaped me at the remembrance and Guy turned to me with a stunned look and half opened lips at the sound. I wanted to die of shame…

But my husband seemed to regain himself quickly and, facing me now with a little smirk on his lips, he took the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. I couldn't stop but stare at each bit of skin he exposed and suddenly my mouth went dry, my lips parted. In my stomach, it was not only a slow fire that I felt; it was as if a flock of butterflies had taken flight in it, causing my skin to tingle and my body to tremble. What were these sensations? No one, even Robin had ever made me feel this way… _Robin_? I pushed the thought of him away immediately. I was with my husband!

My husband… my incredibly handsome, mesmerizing and breathtaking husband. I could perfectly understand now why all the maid servants were hoping to have a chance with him… not that he paid them much attention, particularly since the situation with Annie. Annie! That was another thought I didn't want to consider, so I ignored it and turned my attention back to him.

Guy moved to the bed and slid under the covers beside me. I stayed still not knowing what to do. He stretched out on his right side while I was on my back and I looked him from the corner of my eyes. He watched me intently for a couple of moments before he tentatively let his hand move to my waist, just letting it rest on top of the blankets. I watched his every move and couldn't help but gasp when he pulled me closer to him.

My shoulder was now against his chest, his eyes locked with mine, giving me a look that made me squirm a little: I was his prey and I wasn't sure he would not swoop down on me. I swallowed hard, not knowing what I wanted the most: for him to try something with me…or not.

" _Marian!"_ I scowled at myself, " _that's not a maidenly thought!" "But I'm a married woman"_ I answered myself. _"It is our wedding night, I shouldn't be a maid anymore…" "You promised yourself to Robin, remember!" "Yes, I had… but I married Guy and he has every right to touch me."_

How could I explain how much this thought enchanted me and frightened me at the same time?

Finally, Guy leaned his head down to me to whisper in my ear. "Turn around."

His voice was raspy and it made my nerves twitch in response. When I didn't move, his hand slid under the covers, brushing his thumb against the fabric of my gown – seriously, all of the brushing and stroking was starting to become real torture - he grasped my waist. Slowly and tenderly he turned my body so my back was now toward his chest. He didn't loosen his grip on me though and came closer, his chest pressed against my back. Feeling him so close to me, so warm, so strong, it took my breath away. Was it what Annie had felt when she had lain with him?

Oh no! If only I could forget about Annie for a moment! I was in the arms of my husband, melting with all of the attention he was giving me and my brain just wanted to go to Annie and what she said to me about the few times they had been together. Was I jealous? Well, she had been the first - I mean not the first for _him_ because he surely had had a lot of women – I didn't want to think about it. But she had been with him before me and that thought annoyed me…and that wasn't even going into the fact that she gave him a son. I had to admit, though, even if knowing all of that hurt me a little I would never admit that what she said about Guy that day helped me to know him better and to feel more attracted to and curious about him.

_It had been the day I went with Annie and Seth to the Abbey. We talked about her life at the castle and I had wanted to ask her something about Guy. Surely she guessed it because she told me with a little smile I could ask her anything. When I jumped in surprise, feigning not being interested, she chuckled: "Well, for someone who doesn't care for Sir Guy, you have really sweet eyes when you look at him even if you try to hide it."_

" _I don't have sweet eyes…" I stopped denying when I saw the inquiring look she gave me. "I must admit that Sir Guy is… interesting…"_

" _You can say that again," Annie replied, cradling her son against her chest._

" _But he is so… unpredictable. I never know how to handle him…"_

" _Lady Marian, forgive my boldness but if anyone would be able to handle him, it's you." When she saw me raising my eyebrows, she said in a gentle tone tainted by just a touch of jealousy: "He is quite fond of you, you know that, don't you? And when I say fond, I think I'm far away from the truth. I know for sure he has wanted to marry you since the first day he saw you at Locksley."_

" _But he had been with you!" I answered._

" _Yes, that's true… but he never loved me, milady. He cared for me for a while, I'm sure of it, but you have always had his heart."_

" _Are you sure he even has one?" I sneered._

" _Milady…" this simple word made me blush like a reprimanded child._

_We were silent for a little longer and finally I asked her how she could have been so besotted with him even knowing how mean he could have been._

" _I always felt quite attracted to Sir Guy, I must confess. He was so tall, so handsome and even his stern look added to his appeal." I smiled a little at Annie's description because I had been captured by the same things._

" _One day" Annie continued after sighing sadly, "I was heading to the laundry when a guard started to harass me. I fought to free myself but he succeeded in pushing me into an empty corner. He tried to rape me. I screamed for help at the top of my lungs but I knew nobody would help me, not against one of Vaisey's men. Suddenly, the man was jerked away from me and before he knew what was happening, he had met his death by the sword… of Sir Guy."_

_I gasped, totally enraptured by her telling._

" _He had saved me. He asked me grimly how I was and I thanked him for what he did. I told him he had arrived just in time to save me. He said, "gooood", you know, the way he says it when he wants to hide that he's relieved."_

_I loved that he seemed so awkward, so different; at that moment he was the real Guy of Gisborne, and the one who made my heart skip a beat with his earnest look. He was not the henchman of the Sheriff._

" _I think that was the moment when I knew I was his…"_

_I couldn't suppress the stab of pain I felt in my heart. I felt betrayed even while I knew I shouldn't even think like that. Guy liked me, yes, but he wasn't mine and I certainly didn't want him to be, did I? So, why was it suddenly so hard to breathe?_

" _I gave myself to him then, whenever he wanted me… not that it was often," her voice was clearly sad now, "and every time he was kind if not loving. He didn't love me, he told me so from the beginning, and sometimes I was not even sure he was really with me. I loved him deeply and I still do even after what he did to Seth and after I tried to kill him. He is not a man you could easily forget or fall out of love with. But when I was with him, I could tell by the way he bedded me, by his tenderness, when he was thinking of me and when he was… far away." She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and the touch of bitterness in her voice made me feel compassion for her._

_So, he never forced her, he had been good to her… such a terrible man could be so kind as to not hurt the woman he's with? That idea sent shivers down my spine. I always had supposed his hands could be very skilled at other things besides wielding a sword and handling horse's reins… now I imagined them running all over my body and I started to feel awkward, a strange ache low in my stomach._

_Something Annie told me came to mind then: Was it possible that he thought of me…when he was with her? A part of me had been shocked he could have such thoughts about me while being with another woman but another part of me had been thrilled knowing how much he wanted me. It made me feel so powerful! I liked him at the time but I had never thought of being with him; but knowing what he really felt for me - particularly how deeply he was lost in his feelings - could be of use to help the cause!_

* * *

I was called back to reality as my husband put his head against my shoulder, his face resting near my neck, his breath tickling my ear. I closed my eyes trying to regain my calm while searing all the sensations in my mind so I would never forget how loved, comforted and safe I felt in this moment.

"Marian" he moaned and my eyes opened in shock at the desire I heard in his voice. He couldn't do that to me! How was I supposed to resist? His breath was hot on my skin, his hand stroked my waist while he pressed me tighter to his chest.

I felt so overwhelmed that I moved a little against him, eliciting a loud moan from his throat. His grip on me was suddenly like iron and his voice was husky when he said, "For God's sake, Marian, don't move. I'm doing my best to control myself, but please, have mercy. Don't tease me."

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked in a shy voice, afraid he would agree but not wanting to make him suffer.

"I dare you to try to leave this bed tonight!" his tone was dark but I wasn't fooled by it.

I wasn't afraid at all; I was just thrilled by the intensity of his need for me. My own desire for him had grown second by second, deepened by his labored breath and how he clenched and unclenched his hand in the fabric of my shift.

" _I want him_ " my body screamed. " _He is your enemy_ " my conscience reasoned. _"He could be our best ally if he had someone to show him the way." "Don't say that, you only try to find excuses." "But he is a good man…" "Tell that to all the people he hurt." "But he saved me so many times." "Only to have you and it is working… Control yourself, young lady! Think of Robin!" "Oh please, leave him where he is, for God's sake! You can't talk to me of him when I have my husband arousing me like this."_

My internal conflict was tearing me apart but Guy's hands on me and his breath on my neck called me back to reality; the reality of my senses and of the fact that I was losing them each passing second.

" _You need to return to Robin." "I know,"_ my inner voice now was a moan of sorrow. Guy started to kiss the back of my neck and I couldn't suppress a tiny whimper.

" _You belong to Robin." "I know!"_ I snapped at my conscience but Guy whispered my name and I lost the fight. _"I will return to Robin and will stay with him like it always would have been. But not tonight. Tonight…"_

I started to slip out of Guy's grip. Surprise and hurt were on his face when I sat up on the bed and looked into my husband's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Marian" he murmured sadly. "I promise you I will not do it again. Please, come back under the covers or you will freeze to death. Please Marian, come back to my arms."

I stared at him and sighed deeply, the decision made. Then I launched myself against his body, taking possession of his warm, soft lips while screaming in my head _"Tonight, I'm his, body, heart, soul. I want him; I want to be his completely. And nothing – not even Robin - will steal that from me. Tonight, I will love him! And I will be loved by him."_

As soon as my lips crushed against his, he clenched my body against his with all the strength of his arms making me moan. He deepened the kiss and I was so overwhelmed that I sighed against his mouth allowing his tongue to slip inside. I wanted to cry because of all the sensations I felt coursing through me, all because of this incredible man, the only one who could turn my world upside down.

I let my hands explore his chest and arms, sending shivers all along his body. When my hands reached his sides, he jerked away from me, trying to catch his breath while his eyes searched my face. As soon as he released me, I felt cold, empty and couldn't suppress a shiver of despair.

"Why are you doing this, Marian? What game do you think you are playing?"

"I'm not playing game, Guy, please, believe me," I pleaded with him.

"You're playing with fire, Marian. I want you too much to be able to control myself. If you continue you will get burned. There will be no going back…" he growled, trying to restrain his desire.

"What if I want to get burned?" I asked seductively while sliding closer to him.

"Marian, please, don't do this to me."

He was begging now and the sorrow I saw on his face gave me the courage I needed to do what I longed to do. I cupped his face with my hands, my gaze locked with his and, pressing my body as close to him as I could, I whispered, "I want you to love me tonight."

His lips parted in absolute shock and I took advantage of that fact, kissing him deeply, trying for the first time to brush my tongue against his, making both of us moan. As always, by reflex, his arms closed tightly against my body, making me whimper.

Guy slid us down so we were lying on the bed and he rolled us so that he was on top of me. Feeling his weight on me, his arms supporting him at either side of my body made me feel safer than ever, even if I was more than a little afraid of what was to come.

My husband stared at me a little longer.

"If I start loving you, Marian, I will not stop." His voice wasn't threatening; he was only giving me a warning – a warning with a double meaning I clearly understood. He would not stop making love to me tonight and if I agreed to let him show me his love, it would never end - but I didn't care at all. I raised my head and, giving him a quick kiss on his lips, I smirked at him:

"I dare you!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains some elements that will perhaps be a little more "spicy" than the Teen and Up audiences could have. So please, when reading this chapter, proceed with caution.
> 
> If you think something is really inappropriate, don't hesitate to ask me to high the level rate. Thanks.

I woke up slowly and started stretching my aching body when I heard a groan in protest. My first reaction was to jump in surprise at the sound but I suddenly remembered where I was and knew better than to move. A smile spread across my face as I lowered my eyes to my body to have my vision blocked by a mane of soft black hair. I sighed contently and slowly raised my hand to brush my fingertips over that invitingly silky hair.

I moaned quietly when he squeezed the breast he held in his hand a little tighter in response to my caress. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my husband, the terrifying Dark Knight, Henchman of the Sheriff, lying all around me: he slept on his belly, his head on my stomach, his right hand framing my left breast while his left hand rested against my scar… I shivered at the remembrance of what happened when he saw my Nightwatchman scar last night.

—

Earlier that night:

I always suspected Guy was more skilled than he seemed to be and I was definitely right! The way he kissed me, the way his hands roamed my body sending shivers, sparkles and fire into my blood and my nerves were delicious, stirring and quite terrifying at the same time.

Bedding someone could be so… wonderful. I mean, we hadn't… yet, but the first part of it, the kissing and stroking, one was already quite rejoicing! If the rest was the same, I was right earlier when I thought I couldn't survive such pleasure. Lost for an instant in my thoughts, I chuckled lightly, catching Guy's attention. He looked at me with a sweet smile on his lips and one eyebrow raised in question.

"It was nothing, really," I said while I raised my hand to stroke his face.

Guy took my hand and started kissing my palm before licking it sweetly, making me moan while he kissed each fingertip before sucking at them. He looked at me all along, making me squirm with the intensity of his stare, enjoying each moment and making sure it was the same for me.

When he finally released my hand, he kissed me deeply making me forget everything except him and me, the feelings he made me feel and the way his hand moved while taking the hem of my under gown and raising it inch by inch all along my body while his other hand greedily stroked the revealed skin. He kissed my neck, licking my pulse point, biting at it and sucking; wanting to leave a mark which reminded me to whom I belonged. I was too lost in the sensations to mind, wanting nothing more than to have him continue his ministrations till the end of the time.

However, at some point, he touched an area that made me shiver and jump in surprise while I cried:

"No, please, don't look at it! Not now!"

My scar! How could I have been so forgetful? I tried to pull down my shift while escaping to a sitting position, bracing myself for the battle to come. But Guy thought better, he pinned me with his large body, putting all his weight on me, denying me any movement. I turned my head, focusing my eyes everywhere except on his face while trying to hide the tears in my eyes. Not now, we were so comfy, so close…did all my mistakes and all of our misunderstanding have to always come between us? Couldn't we have sweet moments without the bitterness of the memories and the lies floating around us?

"Look at me, Marian!" Guy's voice was commanding but I tried to resist even if I knew I couldn't for long. "Marian, look at me… now!"

As soon as my eyes met his I was surprised by their intensity: there was no anger, no disappointment; hurt yes, pain surely but also so much more…regret? Warmth? Love? No, it couldn't be, I was delusional.

When I was calm once more, Guy released me and sat on my thighs to examine my scar, first with his eyes, then with his fingertips brushing slowly over the pattern of the scar. Then he leaned down, outlining it with his tongue, making my body arch against his and a loud whimper escape my lips, surprising both of us - making me blush crimson while he raised his eyes and looked at me with a smirk before returning to the matter at hand.

Finally, he sat again to my thighs and, resting his hand on my scar, he looked directly in my eyes, letting the silence stretch till I couldn't bear it anymore.

"How long have you known?" I asked shyly even if I couldn't fathom how he could have guessed my secret identity.

He sighed deeply. "Do you really see me as the Sheriff does, Marian? Do you really think I'm so dumb as to ignore all the signs pointing at you? If I had been as stupid as the Sheriff and you think I am, I would never have survived all these years around Vaisey! Not to mention when I took care of Isabella and I…"

"Isabella?" I asked, startled.

"That's not the issue here!" His eyes were rough for an instant and I knew better than to insist, but I would ask him about this Isabella one day for sure…

"I think I was always suspicious something was wrong with the whole story. But some events helped me to see clearly. First, when you pretended you cut your palm while you had blood on your wrist… Marian, you had so little belief in me that you thought I could believe this tale?" His eyes were burning me and I felt ashamed at how low I thought of him that day, presuming he would buy anything I said as long as I stayed with him.

"And I had more proof when I showed you my wealth, when the King… well, you know when…" His eyes dropped to the ground at the remembrance of the lie which had hurried our first wedding attempt.

"What was your clue?" I asked, trying to change the subject, and was rewarded by one of my husband's smiles…so rare but so precious.

"When I took you in my arms, you jumped free in a way you couldn't have known unless you were a trained warrior… A maiden doing embroidery all day couldn't do that, I'm afraid."

The smile in his voice warmed my heart while all the rest of my body was warmed by the way he continued to brush his fingertips over my scar and how his other hand drew patterns on my hip. I closed my eyes wanting nothing more from him than to go further in his investigation of my body and to talk a little less, but it was the first time ever he confided in me and that was too precious to be wasted. So, I tried to reign in my reaction to the sensations and listen to him as much as I could while his hand started to slide further under my shift to my breasts.

"I was sure just before our wedding, when I saw you so ill on your bed, your father pretended that was because of the excitement. But after you punched me during the ceremony - really nice punch by the way -" he added with a sad smirk.

I was so ashamed I put my hands in front of my face and groaned. He chuckled a little and, giving up my scar for an instant, he forced me to drop my hands and look at him.

"It's alright, I deserved it, really." He was earnest, my heart felt it, and I just wanted to kiss him to make us both forget all the horrible things we did to each other.

"It was crystal clear to me that you could only be the Nightwatchman; it was the reason I let you leave without sending my guards after you. I was so disappointed I didn't want to have you in front of me for fear of how I might react…"

I raised my hand to his face and leaned to him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Like always, his arms surrounded me in an instant and he deepened the kiss. But too soon – in my opinion - he ended it, making me groan in disappointment.

"Marian, there's something else I want to tell you."

"Please, Guy, can't we talk later?" I sighed.

"No, I need to say it…before making love to you." He took a deep breath when I remained silent.

"I was so angry, so hurt over your leaving, and by the way you had hidden your secret identity from me and by how you played me for a fool for so long, not to mention how much the Sheriff fed my shame… When I burned your house, I was almost happy to do it because I hoped to hurt you as much as I had been."

I blinked several times trying to process what he said.

"I'm so sorry, Marian, I should never had done it! I'm so ashamed and I feel so guilty. Marian, I just wanted to be happy with you and then I hurt you…"

The tears I saw in his eyes were all I needed to forgive everything he did. Was I better than him, playing like I did with his heart and with his life by making him look like a fool in face of the sheriff? I took him in my arms, securing them around his neck, shushed him while giving him several little kisses on each cheek and his forehead while he continued to talk.

"All the scars you have come from me. I hurt you so much, Marian, I don't deserve you. You would never have married me, you wouldn't be here now… "

I couldn't bear to hear him underestimate himself anymore, so I locked my eyes with his and I put a kiss on his soft lips after every word:

"Guy…stop…now…I'm… here…with…you…I…forgive…you…"

He took a deep breath and his eyes opened wide.

"I forgive you! Now…stop talking and love me, or I promise I will use my Nightwatchman skills to pin you to this bed!"

When I saw how stunned he looked and realized what I had just said, I chuckled in embarrassment. It was joined by his loud laugh - it was my turn to be amazed; I'd never heard him really laugh before and I loved it. It was probably the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in all my life! He closed his arms around my body and lowered us to the bed, taking his place above me once more.

"As much as I love this idea, wife, I don't think tonight is the best time to do it that way," he said as he started to nuzzle his nose and mouth at my pulse point while sliding my shift further, his stubble scratching my skin sending sparkles everywhere in my body. "But don't worry; I will remember your idea…"

The devilishly handsome smirk he gave me before pulling my shift off over my head made me moan; he didn't want to talk anymore and neither did I.

—

Dawn hadn't arrived yet but I couldn't sleep anymore, I was so overwhelmed by all the sensations and events of the night. I felt ashamed to have been so blind about Guy, thinking of him only at the henchman of the Sheriff, a man of action but of few thoughts. But he wasn't that way and each new facet I discovered of him was disturbing, because it added to my attraction to him, when what I knew I should have wanted was to find facets of him that would allow me to separate from him easily.

Suddenly I was angry at Guy, so much that I wanted to push him away from me: how could he have hidden who he really was from me? He had shown me his worst sides and now, when I wanted…no, needed to leave, he let me discover the beautiful and wonderful sides of himself? Why so late? If only I had known them before, I… I, what? I would have liked him? I would have been stirred by him? I would have wanted him like I had never wanted anyone else?

_"Well, Marian, face it: you knew his worst sides and some of his good ones and you already wanted all that! You had been the one to fool yourself by only focusing on his faults while your heart felt his deep qualities and had grown attached to him."_

That thought helped me to calm a little and I caressed his soft black hair, eliciting a quiet moan of pleasure from my husband. I couldn't suppress a smile at the sound: I was the one who made this incredibly handsome and strong man moan that way… I blushed when I remembered how loud he had cried my name earlier when he came before he collapsed against me, totally spent, trying to regain his breath while pressing little kisses over my sweat-damp skin.

I was happy to have given him my maidenhead, not only because he was my husband after all, but also because it had been as intense as I thought it would be…even if it had been a lot more painful than expected.

When I'd heard the maid servants talk about their first time, a lot of them told how it had been painful, particularly with someone who wasn't careful with them or someone a little too eager to find their own pleasure. That notion had always disturbed me when I thought about Robin.

Before his departure to Acre, we had kissed several times and at one time, just before he left, he tried to go further than just naive kisses; he had pinned me against a wall and started to kiss - attack was a better word in that case - my neck while his hands roamed roughly over my body. I had been shocked by his behavior and particularly by how aroused he had quickly become. He pressed himself against me and the hardness of his lower half didn't leave me any doubt about what he really wanted. I had been frightened by the rudeness of his acts and thanked God when someone came to the stables, making a noise and putting an end to his desires. I gave him a peck on the cheek and had run to my room, trying to regain myself.

When he came back and resumed his "courtship," the few times when he kissed me, I felt the same urgency and the awkwardness overwhelmed me again. I loved Robin, yes, but I was afraid that our first time will be more a pleasure for him than me and even a real pain for me because of his eagerness.

Then there was Guy… the first time he kissed me, it was sweet, reverent, but so full of feelings that I ended it quickly, afraid to give in to all the new sensations coursing through my body; yes, I would be his wife on the morrow but it was under duress, I couldn't appreciate it, it was so wrong!

The night when I came to Locksley and we had been alone, I was enraptured by him and he could have taken advantage of me. I would certainly not have refused him. But he didn't and that behavior made me see him differently, as if I could trust him with all my heart.

And when I kissed him – as part of my mission, of course, to save Robin and his friend - he returned my kisses deeply and eagerly and licked my neck and… _"stop Marian! Stop thinking like that, if not you will need to wake Guy and you don't know how he would react…"_

Well… that day, an incredible thought passed through my mind: it was him! If I wanted my first time to be sweet, tender and not like everyone had described it, Guy would be the one. Oh God! It was so silly at the time but I knew it and every time after that day, when we were alone and when he was sweet, when he brushed past me, when he looked at me intensely, I blushed thinking of him and me entangled in a bed… But I certainly couldn't imagine how incredible it had been tonight!

—

Earlier tonight:

Yes, it had been really painful, so much that I couldn't suppress a sob, but that was not because of him but because of my own treacherous body. He had been so gentle, sweet, careful, kissing me all along until I cried in pain.

Then he had stilled, caressing my hair, muttering soothing words, kissing my lips… and at one point, he had whispered in a husky voice: "Thank you, Marian."

I opened my eyes in shock wanting to scream at him because I was suffering like hell and he was thanking me! But through my tears, I saw how soft his face was, how much love his eyes reflected and how he glowed in happiness and all my ire and my pain seem to disappear. He had thanked me because I gave him my precious treasure, I had given him the only thing a woman can give and never take back…

Another tether between us… With all the real scars he had made in my body, now, by taking my maidenhead and being inside of me like he was, he had burned his body into mine forever. He would always be the one, I could never forget him or the feel of him. And that was the reason for his gratefulness. Because I had willingly made him the first in my life and in my body.

More tears ran down my cheeks, tears of joy this time because for the first time, I really felt how much he loved me, I felt it in my heart, in my mind and in my body and it was the most amazing sensation in the world. He wiped some of my tears with his thumb and finally, he leaned and drank them, making me giggle a little when his beard tickled my skin. I sighed deeply, squirmed a little to be more at ease and I saw instantly how his blue eyes darkened with desire. He locked his eyes on mine and, with a voice filled with passion, lust and love he asked:

"Can I…?"

I nodded and while he started to move slowly, he took possession of my mouth, showing me how much he wanted me.

—

He had looked at me all the time and even if I was a little awkward at first, that thought was comforting because he really wanted to know how I felt. The other wonderful part had been that every emotion he had felt was written on his face and for the first time, I felt really connected with this man, my man. Yes, he was really MY man now. But… was I his woman? I was in his heart, body and soul, I knew that but could I really be? Could I really stay?

Tonight had been the happiest night in all my life; I had never felt so secure, so loved, not even in the comforting arms of my father… but on the morrow…

On the morrow, the light would rise again and all would stay the same even if both of us had changed. On the morrow, he would once again be Henchman of the Sheriff. On the morrow, I would once again be the Nightwatchman fighting against the Sheriff. On the morrow, Guy would jump to obey to his orders and do things I couldn't bear. On the morrow, there would be people hurt by the Sheriff's orders executed by my husband's hands.

Could I handle all those things only because of the feelings I started to recognize having for him and because of the love and security he provided me? Could I hide all the terrible things Guy did simply by focusing on the incredible pleasure he gave me and would give me?

What if… what if I found myself with child after tonight? The thought took my breath in an instant; I was so lost in my sensations that I didn't even think of it before. _"Marian, you are a smart and practical girl. How could you take such a risk without even thinking about it?"_ Well, I _was_ a smart and practical girl, usually… And now, what will become of me if I was carrying his child? Me, with child… with Guy's child. I would have to stay with him if that were the case, but would I be happy to stay if I was forced to? Would I be happy with Guy and a child I didn't even think to create?

But first things first, I needed to know if I was pregnant or not and after that, if I was, I could think of what to do to raise my child…our child. Smart and practical girl? Well, I should have been that girl tonight but Guy had been too skilled for my own good…

He had been right earlier, I needed to go away to think, I needed to leave him to be able to choose what to do without being affected by him… because I really had to admit that I was affected by him… really, really, **really** affected.

One thing was sure yet, after have been so intimate with him, I couldn't possibly imagine doing the same with Robin. The simple thought of Robin being so close to me made me shiver in discomfort.

"Marian, are you alright?" a sleepy voice asked. "I felt you shiver, do you want a blanket?"

"No, Guy, thank you, I'm fine, really." I was smiling while talking; he was so sweet and considerate with me. How could I leave him?

He sat up on the bed and the cold bit me harshly as much as the lack of his weight on my body. I wanted him back but he didn't move, his eyes roaming over on my body while licking his lips.

"Do you even know how beautiful you are, Marian?" he whispered and I couldn't help but blush under his passionate gaze.

Suddenly, his expression hardened, he took a deep breath and said:

"Is it already time for you to go?"

"No, not yet." I assured him while sitting next to him.

"Good" he sighed in relief. "Because I want to enjoy every single moment with you."

He took me in his arms and kissed me, slowly, gently, till I took control of it and lowered us onto the bed, pulling him down on top of me, delighted to feel his weight on me again.

Wanting him once more before I had to go, I raised one of my legs and wrapped it around him, whimpering softly when the pain in my body woke up a little at the movement. I slid my hands down his back till I touched his backside making him jump against me in surprise, eliciting moans from both of us. I felt how aroused he was and I was pretty proud of myself to be able to wake his desire for me so easily.

"No, Marian, not now…" he took my hands away from his backside, trying to ease his heavy breath.

"Why?" I asked, disconcerted. "Did I do something wrong earlier?"

"No, nothing was wrong, my love." He put a sweet kiss on my lips, leaning his face away from me when I tried to linger the kiss and stroking my hair. "It was perfect, the most amazing thing that ever happened to me."

"Why then?"

"I hurt you earlier; it was very painful for you. Your body needs to rest and heal… for a while at least. But, don't be afraid," he added when he saw how disappointed I was. "I promise you we will do this again…later."

"Later?" I said, a little afraid because I knew time was passing quickly and I craved him again before leaving, as a remembrance for when I would be away. "But it's almost dawn and…"

"I didn't say this morning, love," he added with a smile.

I was ready to respond when he shushed me by putting his finger on my lips, his eyes burning with desire.

"We will make love again, Marian, of that I am certain. I am not sure of a lot of things in this life. But I KNOW you will be mine again Marian… someday…"

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is different because it's Guy's POV and it's written at the third person. I hope this will not disturb you. Enjoy ^^
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos! I'm so glad you like this story :)

Guy, sleeping on his stomach, stretched in his sleep, one of his hands moving out to search for the warmth of Marian's body. But there was nothing there except cold sheets proving they had been vacant for some time.

Guy's heart started to beat harder and faster as his tired mind registered the lack of Marian at his side, his eyes opening instantly as he lifted himself up on his forearms, raising his head to see if she was still in the room. But she was nowhere to be seen and Guy knew perfectly well that she wasn't here anymore… if she had ever really been here…

Was it just another of the vivid dreams he had about her since he fell in love with her? Was it another trick played by his treacherous heart? But he could feel so perfectly how her hands had felt on his skin, how he'd gripped her to keep her as close as possible to him, how it was to taste her sweet skin, how amazingly complete he had felt for the first time in his life when he had been inside of her… Was it possible that all those incredible sensations weren't memories but only… fantasies? It couldn't be… it really couldn't.

Suddenly a thought passed through his mind and he rolled over, jerking the blankets away, revealing blood marks on the sheets. As soon as he saw them, Guy turned his face to the ceiling and sighed deeply. It wasn't a dream after all, she really had been here and she really had been… his.

She had been HIS! He couldn't stop the triumphant smile that spread across on his face. It wasn't an ironic smirk or even a smug one. It was a real smile, a smile of happiness, of contentment, a smile of a man who had really touched the sky when he received the prize he had always ached to obtain.

Not only had she married him - yes, she thought they would die, but she did it anyway - but she also agreed to spend the night with him… and not only did she agree but she even asked for more! What a fool he had been to turn down her request. What was he thinking? He could have been lost in her, in her warmth, seeing her glow with happiness when he made her touch the edge of the pleasure, hearing her whispering his name with desire and longing.

He had dreamed of this moment for so long, even if he was certain it would never happen, that he couldn't entirely believe it wasn't a fantasy anymore. It was actually the memory of the previous night.

He had been with a lot of women, and no one had ever complained about being with him afterward – many of them had even tried to be with him again and their behavior had always stroked his vanity.

But when Marian asked him to make love to her again, he didn't feel any pride or vanity, he'd simply been amazed that this wonderful woman, his woman, his wife, could want him to bed her again.

Marian, who had always been so wary with him even when he felt how stirred she was, had given herself to him willingly not once but twice! He was the one who pushed aside her request - what a fool he had been! - because he knew how much pain she had endured the first time and he wanted her to feel their lovemaking without the slightest discomfort, only the fullness of their shared pleasure.

When he started to caress her, trying to ease her worries and to increase her passion, a terrible fear settled in his stomach for a moment: what if, after all, she wasn't the innocent maid he thought she was? What if she had finally give herself to Robin? Those thoughts didn't make him angry but instead filled him with sadness and despair: Robin could not have taken this precious thing from him, it couldn't be! But when he locked his eyes on hers he saw how they were filled with a mixture of apprehension, curiosity and desire, he scowled at himself for having doubted her. He had been her first - and a low rumble escaped his throat when he decided he would be sure to be her only, her last! She could never forget him; she had agreed to tether herself to him forever. Even now that they were apart, for this one moment in time they had been so close, and that would always been theirs.

Guy was sitting back on his bed with his head resting against the headboard, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, lost in his memories and feelings. How amazing it had been with her! She was every bit as passionate as he had thought she would be as soon as she let her guard down. Even her awkwardness had disappeared, allowing herself to stroke him and grab his backside and to nip at his shoulders - enhancing his passion and his love for his unpredictable wife.

He never had felt so close to someone while bedding them. He realized finally that he never really had made love before her and that thought amazed him. This woman, this tiny thing had changed everything in his life. Even when he had been with Annie, their most tender moments had been when he was thinking of Marian… even if he would never admit it to her.

A terrible thought crossed his mind suddenly and Guy jumped from the bed and ran to his desk, breathing deeply when his doubts were laid to rest; he had feared that she left her wedding ring behind, but no, she had taken her with her. It was further proof of her attachment to him, even if she wasn't ready to accept it just yet.

As he was up now, he started to prepare himself for the day. While he was washing his face, his eyes caught the mirror on the wall and locked on his reflection, memories surfacing. He remembered Marian as the young girl he met once when she came to pay a visit with her father to Malcolm of Locksley. Ghislaine and Guy had been invited as their closest neighbors while Isabella had been stuck in bed thanks to the flu.

Marian had been only four then and he was fourteen. He had thought then that she was very pretty with her auburn locks and her big baby blue eyes, but so serious for a so young child. She, for her part, had looked at him in awe, whispering, "How tall you are!" He had answered with a smile, "And how pretty you are!" For the rest of the day, Marian sat quietly on the floor next to her father while playing with her doll, hiding her face every time she met Guy's eyes. It was the first time someone had touched his heart – innocent though it was - and for several years, even in the darkest times, he sometimes thought about her, wishing he knew what she had become.

Guy dropped his towel on the back of his chair and started to dress, his thoughts far away from here. He could never forget how he met her again, five years ago.

_He'd arrived with Vaisey two days before at Nottingham, and the real purpose of their presence there had not been revealed… until that morning._

_That morning, when the Council of the Nobles took place, Vaisey shocked everyone when he suddenly stood up and asked the Lord of Knighton, the Sheriff, for permission to speak. Confused, the Sheriff agreed and to the utter surprise of the all assembly, Vaisey showed them his credentials from Prince John appointing him the new Sheriff of Nottingham. Not leaving time for anyone to recover from the shock, he ordered to the former Sheriff to leave the castle before the end of the day. In order to celebrate his appointment, Vaisey informed the shocked assembly that a new tax would be implemented, adding it was for the benefit of the Realm, making Guy sneer inwardly._

_After every one had been dismissed, Guy and de Fourtnoy, the Master-at-Arms, - God! how much he hated this man, almost as much as Vaisey himself! - stayed with the new Sheriff in the Great Hall and had to bear the hysterical manner he chose to express his happiness, dancing in the room, humming to himself. There was nothing Guy could do, other than crossing his arms against his chest to contain his frustration, not succeeding meanwhile at hiding his bored expression._

_Finally, de Fourtnoy left them to watch the castle guards while Guy attended the new Sheriff in his new quarters. They found a commotion in the corridors; Edward of Knighton was moving on, walking to his coach, his servants transporting his belongings, but the real issue came from a woman whose back was turned to them and who shouted loudly at the unfairness of the situation._

_Guy was immediately intrigued by this woman; her frame was beautifully shaped, slender but with pleasing curves, her auburn hair cascaded to her shoulders in silky locks and she seemed to have quite a temper by the way she expressed her ire. When she heard Vaisey's voice inquiring as to what the problem was, she turned on her heel and she couldn't hide her disbelief when she took in the appearance of the new Sheriff._

_Guy's breath caught the instant he saw her face, as if he'd been punched in the stomach. She was… she was one of the loveliest women he had ever seen…she had a sweet round face with the promise of the incredible beauty she would be when she was older, an aristocratic nose and amazing baby blue eyes… it was then that he recognized her. Marian! He had finally found her again. Could she recognize him? He hoped for a moment… but she was so little when they met and it had only been for one afternoon. But… why was she so infuriated now?_

_"Sheriff, I'm Marian of Knighton" she said trying to hide her frustration and her sorrow._

_Knighton! Of course, how could he not have realized before! She was the daughter of the former Sheriff. It had been so long since that day that her name had long been forgotten by him and when he left the country two years after they'd met, Edward of Knighton wasn't the Sheriff yet. Guy felt suddenly awkward; he understood that Marian was being forced to bear the same horrible thing that he had to endure: being kicked out of her home. At least she had her father and the manor of Knighton to return to, which was infinitely more than what Isabella and Guy had when they were kicked out of their home and the village._

_"Ah, Lady Marian" the Sheriff said, pretending to be happy to meet her but barely succeeding to hide his disgust at having to talk with the young woman. "I wish you a safe journey to your home."_

_"My home was… no! My home is here!" she shouted vehemently._

" _Was, dear girl, was!" Vaisey's smile was as despicable as his person Guy thought, sniffing in disdain._

_"No, you can't do this! My father has been Sheriff for almost ten years now, you can't…"_

_"La di da di da," Vaisey sing-songed, showing how bored he was now, walking past Marian whose eyes opened wide in dismay._

_But she soon recovered and strode after the Sheriff, calling for him to wait. The Sheriff was now angrier than bored and Guy feared how things would turn out. Marian did not seem to be the type to easily yield. She was so passionate, so fierce that Guy couldn't help but imagine how all this intensity could be put to use if he had her in his arms. His body started to react to this powerful vision and the overwhelming sensations, so he tried to ease his breath and focused on each step he took._

_"Lepers," Vaisey whispered before saying "Gisborne!" and leaving the situation in the hands of his henchman._

_Guy sighed deeply to regain control of himself and turned on his heel without warning. Marian, who was following him closer than he thought, nearly bumped into him. She caught herself and tipped her head up to look at him, revealing her porcelain neck - a neck which seemed utterly and delectably lickable…_

_"_ Stop instantly, Gisborne! Where do you think you're going with those ideas? Not now, not here! And certainly not in front of her! _" Guy thought to himself, scowling inwardly._

_She started to walk past the tall man in front of her but he moved at the same time, his chest blocking her progress. She tried the other side but he moved with her, stopping her once again. Finally, at the end of her patience, her eyes focused on his._

_"Let me pass, now!" the young lady insisted, her impatience showing._

_"Lady Marian, don't you think we should be properly introduced?" Guy suggested, his voice a little huskier than usual. He was grateful he hadn't talked with her before so she wouldn't notice the difference._

_"Let me pass!" she insisted, stamping one foot on the ground childishly._

_"I'm afraid I can't do that." His tone and expression were amused, which was noticed by the beautiful woman who raised her eyebrow before she drew back a hand to slap him._

_Guy, who was more aware of everything around him than he seemed, understood very well her gesture. When her hand flew at his face he grabbed her wrist, making her whimper at the strength of his grip. But if he was aware of her reaction it was not the moment to show it and he drew her closer to him._

_"Never… do… that… again…" he murmured in her ear, emphasizing each word, his voice deep and threatening._

_Not frightened by his behavior but intrigued, Marian really looked at him for the first time; she had been so absorbed in her mission that she hadn't paid much attention to the man who was now too close to her body for her comfort._

_When her eyes met his, she couldn't suppress the shiver that coursed down her spine while she drew a deep breath. His eyes were mesmerizing, as blue as Locksley pond beneath the summer sun. She blinked a few time before breaking the contact, her eyes lowering - but only as far as his mouth. Guy searched her face, wanting to understand all the emotions she was showing so freely. When he saw where her attention was focused, he couldn't suppress a smirk which changed quickly in a low moan when she started to bite her bottom lip absent-mindedly._

_As the sound escaped Guy's lips, Marian regained herself instantly, blushing furiously while trying to take back her hand._

_"Let me go" she said, her voice a little unsteady._

_"Only if you go back to your father."_

_"I don't want to return to my father! I need to talk to Vaisey!"_

_"To Sheriff Vaisey" corrected Guy with a lopsided smirk so attractive that Marian realized she had to keep her eyes fixed on his neck or she would have trouble thinking straight._

_"I need to talk to him, now!"_

_"Lady Marian," Guy began, taking a moment to savor her name on his lips before adding, "the Sheriff is a very busy man and doesn't have time to talk now… Besides, there is nothing to discuss. Prince John has given orders and we have to obey to them even if they don't please us."_

_"But why did he do that?" she whispered, all of her will to fight dissolving in her despair. "My father always followed him faithfully. How could he do that to him? What will he do now?"_

_She seemed so lost that Guy couldn't resist and lightened his grip on her arm as his voice softened a little._

_"He will find something. All will be fine, Marian, I'm sure…"_

_When she heard him call her by her given name rather than by her formal title she raised her head to him, her eyes fierce, and taking back her arm in one pull she scowled at him. "Don't you dare address me in such a familiar manner. You are a despicable man, Lord… Lord…"_

_He smiled a little when she realized she didn't even know his name._

_"Sir Guy, Lady Marian. Sir Guy of Gisborne." He took her hand once more and bent over it, brushing his lips against her soft skin while his eyes never left hers. "It's a pleasure to meet you."_

_"Well…" she licked her lips at the sensations the brief contact made her feel and, pulling her hand away again she mumbled: "I'm afraid I can't say the same," in a sour tone that drew a chuckle from him._

_Her eyes glowed with fury and as a pout appeared on her lips, and without another word she turned and ran away from him._

_He had known at that very moment that she would be the only woman for him, and he would do anything it took to have her as his wife._

A loud knock on the door and someone bursting in the room made him come back to reality.

"Giz, Vaisey wants to see you, now… And he is not happy…"

"I'll come as soon as I can," Guy said and turned to pull his shirt on.

"You're late. That's not like you…"

"Allan, don't start now. I'm not in the mood!"

"Are you ever?" teased Allan, but he didn't push his luck when he saw the look his superior gave him. He coughed a little and, thinking it was a safe subject, he asked, "By the way, how is the new bride?"

Perhaps it wasn't a safe subject after all, Allan thought when Guy pinned him against the wall, giving him a murderous look.

"You swore to not talk about the wedding to anyone. I hope you kept your word!" His tone was unmistakably threatening.

"Of course, Guy."

"Good." Gisborne released the younger man and finished preparing himself for the day, trying to regain control of his temper.

"Marian is gone for a while," he said a little later, his tone matter-of-fact.

"Where is she?" Allan asked, but when Guy turned to face him he hurried to add, "Okay, okay, never mind. But Giz, won't the Sheriff wonder why she's disappeared without a good reason?"

The taller man thought for an instant and sighed deeply. "We will say she decided to return to the Abbey to rest after yesterday's events."

"The Sheriff will think the Abbey is her home away from home," Allan said, provoking a little smile from Guy. "Well, you should go to the Sheriff before he decides to hang someone in frustration."

"Go ahead, I will follow you."

Knowing better than to say anything else, Allan left his master alone with his deep thoughts. He couldn't help but wonder why Marian should have left so soon after their wedding. She had seemed eager to marry him so why was she abandoning him that way? He sighed. Guy was barely tolerable on a good day. Now after having seen how upset he was, Allan knew he would have to be really careful if he wanted to live long enough to see another sunrise.

Guy was now ready for his day but he couldn't leave this room; leaving it was like closing the door to the wonderful moments he had shared with his wife, and he wasn't ready to face life without her here with him. He walked to the bed, sat on it, took her pillow and buried his face in it, taking a deep breath to inhale her fragrance. He thought this would help him but it didn't. On the contrary, her absence and the need to be with her, in her again overwhelmed him and made him feel lonelier than ever. Unable to bear the ache in his heart anymore, he clutched the pillow against his chest and used it to muffle the cry of sorrow that escaped him.

When he had gotten control of himself again he joined Vaisey, doing his best to hide his suffering behind his stern expression, trying to bear his insufferable superior.

"What a delight to see you finally, Gisborne! What took you so long? Were you caught hostage by your sheets?" he laughed at his own words while Gisborne clenched his fists.

"By the way, I haven't seen the leper since dinner," - _Here we are_ , sighed Guy inwardly - "and she seemed to be in a particularly bad mood. Have you seen her today?" The Sheriff didn't wait for a response, just continued talking as if to himself. "Gisborne, if she has to be with us to dine again, I want her calm, smiling and, for God's sake, quiet! You seem to find her pleasing to look at, though for the life of me I can't see why. I suppose she could be a pretty decoration…but do we ask to a tapestry to talk? No! So, at the very least she could be silent!"

Guy tried to stay as calm as possible but he couldn't hide his irritation anymore. He was betrayed by his body when his hand came to his mouth in his usual habit, showing how anxious or stressed he was. He sat down heavily in one of the chairs and sighed.

"Gisborne?" Vaisey said when he noticed how disturbed his henchman was. "What is the problem now?"

"Marian left the castle early this morning."

"Again?" Vaisey burst into laughter. "I supposed she ran to the Abbey again? Such a devoted girl!" He had trouble catching his breath, so hard was he laughing.

Finally, the Sheriff regained his calm and moved around the younger man. He put his hands on Guy's shoulders where he was seated in front of him and started to rub them. Guy shuddered in disgust and tried to free himself but Vaisey's grip tightened and he viciously leaned all his weight on Gisborne's shoulders.

"What did you do to her, this time, Gisborne?" asked Vaisey in what was clearly supposed to be a seductive tone. When the younger man started to rise once more, Vaisey leaned down to whisper in his ear. "I always told you that the woman is a leper. You deserve so much more. Perhaps now you will be ready to forget her and to think of other…options…to be happy."

Guy jerked his head away, trying to ease the nausea that roiled in his stomach. At his gesture, Vaisey sighed dramatically, freeing him, and stepped to his desk to sit across from his Master-at-Arms.

"Well… at least I tried," he chuckled "Go inspect the guards. I don't want to see your face again today while you're in this mood. You bore me."

Guy was more than happy to oblige, walking the corridors until he was sure he was alone, leaning his head against the wall and inhaling deeply. He needed to calm down. He needed to stop thinking about Marian leaving, he needed to stop thinking of the night before, he needed to stop thinking about how wonderfully sweet her skin felt beneath his touch, he needed to stop thinking about the look she gave him when she found her pleasure, when she had whispered his name so intensely that she had provoked his own release. But how could he do that?

He had always loved her, always desired her and needed her and now that he had been with her, now that he had felt how perfect they fit together, now that he had felt how happy, secure and loved he was when he was buried in her, he couldn't forget those feelings. Because being with her, being in her, felt like home. And he would do whatever it took and give her all the time she needed in order to be with her again because somewhere deep inside he knew she would return to him. They were meant to be!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! :) You warm my heart so much!
> 
> Like I said on the summary, this story isn't a pro Robin one nor a pro Robin/Marian one. Some will find my Robin OOC on this story but please, first it's a fanfiction not continuance of the show, second please, read the story till the end before bashing. 
> 
> You don't know what I want to write, you don't know why I wrote the story this way, you don't know where I want my characters to go, to evolve, and to end... yet :)
> 
> So please, give me the benefit of the doubt knowing that I already warned you that you will maybe not appreciate my Robin for now and be patient, wait til the end of the story to discover what I had in mind when I wrote and write all my characters the way I did and do it.
> 
> Thanks for your understanding and I really hope you will enjoy this story as much as I love writting it :)

Chapter 7:

I had left the castle and my husband behind me a half hour before, and was traveling slowly on my mare into Sherwood Forest. In a few minutes more I would be with Robin and the rest of the gang. Robin…what could I say when I was with him again? How would I react? Did I have to tell him about the wedding? Of course I had to! But did it have to be immediately, or could it wait a while…? And most importantly, how would he react? I was sure he would hate Guy more than ever now.

Guy…

I sighed deeply at the thought of him. I had just left him a half hour before and it was already as if I'd been missing him all of my life. I tried to reason with myself but it didn't work as well as I would have hoped; one thing was certain – I was not ready to face Robin so quickly. I needed a little time alone first.

That was when I realized I had taken another path than the one I had intended; I was face to face with the ruins of my beloved home, the place I came into this world and the place where my mother had drawn her last breath. Knighton.

What remained of this once-peaceful and beautiful place were pieces of wood, piles of ashes and some scorched stones. I couldn't contain the sadness that overwhelmed me at the sight. Perhaps I should have left, but I couldn't. I dismounted without thinking and tied my beautiful mare – the one Guy had given me as a gift several months before. _Oh, why is it I can't think of anything without relating it to Guy?_ I wondered, feeling a shudder of loneliness like never before. After stroking the mare's delicate mane for a moment I walked slowly to the ruins which were once my home.

I should have been angry at Guy as I was every time I thought of what he had done, but after the night before…oh, that night, I thought, sighing deeply, shocked at the wave of emotion and sensation that flooded through me. After that night I understood why he acted like he did and I felt ashamed to have made a fool of him so many times that he finally couldn't help but want to hurt me on purpose, while all he ever really wanted was to protect me and have me for his own. He did very well on both matters, I thought, blushing crimson while a tiny thrill settled in the pit of my stomach.

I walked around the ruins and finally found a spot where I could be near the house without putting myself in any danger from falling debris. It was a corner of the house where two walls had been built of stone and had stood fast against the hungry fire. I slid against one and curled up into a ball, too weary to move again for a few moments. Dawn was quickly approaching but I wasn't on a schedule so I decided to enjoy the few remaining minutes of quiet before joining the always-noisy gang at last.

As soon as I was settled my eyes grew heavy and I dozed off, still tired from the late night before and Guy's passionate display of his desire for me.

* * *

Earlier that morning:

I woke up just before dawn and found myself surrounded by two strong arms holding me tight against his chest. How I loved being nestled so close against him! I loved to feel his chest rise and fall with the rhythm of his breathing, how his heart beat strong and steady within. It was soothing, relaxing, and it had been absolute torture to slip out of the warmth of his embrace, the chill of the room freezing me without the heat of my husband's body to keep me warm.

I slipped into my dress as quickly as possible, not allowing my eyes to leave Guy as he slept soundly, enjoying the sight of his handsome face for a few moments longer before I left. When I went to my own room to gather my things before departing, I stared at my wedding ring but couldn't resign myself to leaving it behind. I had put it on my finger again the night before and everything that had happened since then made it feel as if the ring had always been on my hand, so well it fit me. I would probably take it off when I was with the gang, but at least I would have it with me.

How could everything have changed so drastically in one night? Yes, I knew I was a married woman and I was no longer a maid, but I was now a real woman…a woman who had been well and truly bedded by a man who loved her more than anything, and who had showed her how passionately he loved her.

 _Marian, stop!_ I chided myself. _You need to leave now. If you continue to fantasize like that, you'll never leave and you know you have to!_

Did I really want know that? Did I truly want to leave? At this moment, I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and wake Guy by putting my hands everywhere on his body, to make him want me again, until he made love to me and I forgot everything except the two of us.

_Marian! What have you become? How can you talk like that? One night of lust and you start thinking like a common wench! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?_

Well, I was honestly torn by the answer. No, I wasn't ashamed at all to want and need my husband as much as I did now. And yes, I was truly troubled by the way my body and my feelings had run away with my reason and good sense.

Two days before, if anyone had told me that I would marry Guy, make love to him and LOVE it so much that I was almost desperate to have him again, I would have laughed at them, called them a fool and probably felt my stomach turn with disgust. I certainly wouldn't have believed it.

And now here I was, awake to the pleasures of the marriage bed and the passion that he'd stirred in me…but that was wrong! It was so good, but so very wrong. He made me discover lust, carnal desire, and as ashamed as I was to admit it, I think I would probably always love making love to him – I'd certainly let him do it as often as possible, I thought with a blush.

But marriage wasn't based only on carnal pleasure…I needed to love and admire my husband. Yes, I was in awe of Guy yesterday for all he'd done for me and for Nottingham, but now that the Sheriff was here again he was back to being the puppet of Vaisey rather than the wonderful, strong leader he'd been. I was right when I decided that he needed time to think as much as I did. I needed to consider my everyday life with him and not just the hours we could share in bed, tangled together, with him buried as deep inside of me as possible…

I sighed so deeply it nearly made me lightheaded. I couldn't help but walk back to the bed we'd shared and, with a feather-light touch I slipped my hand over his soft hair and brushed my lips against his cheek. He moaned my name in his sleep and I moved away quickly, fearing I'd wake him, but then he started to snore quietly. I gave him a tender smile and reluctantly left the room, moving fast for fear of my resolve melting before I could escape the castle, fighting the urge to go back to bed and attack him with the ferocity of my desire.

* * *

Finally, when I woke from my brief nap the sun was already well-established in its course; it was time to go find Robin. But before, I decided I needed to clean up a little – I left in a hurry this morning and didn't take the time to wash. I followed the little path behind what had been the house and arrived at the small pond where I used to bathe in my younger years. After checking to make sure that there was no one nearby, I stripped out of my gown, keeping my shift for privacy, and entered the water. It was cold – not too cold as to be unpleasant, but enough to wake me up fully and to fill me with energy. I started washing myself and grew aware that each inch of skin I bathed had been touched by Guy's hands, kissed by Guy's lips, nipped by Guy's teeth, licked by Guy's tongue…it was almost as if I was erasing every trace of him on my body, making the most intimate moment disappear – even if the most important change that took place inside of me remained. What distressed me most, though, was that I wouldn't have his scent on me. I had felt so safe, so comfortable surrounded by his scent and now I would have to do without. I felt, somehow, forsaken.

_Regain yourself, young lady! You were brave before, that didn't go away overnight – you will certainly manage!_

_Of course, I would,_ I thought to myself. _But I never thought I could feel so close to another so quickly that being apart felt as if a piece of myself had been stolen._

_Oh, please, don't get so sentimental. You're the Night Watchman! It was your choice to leave, now you need to deal with it._

I couldn't bear being lectured by my inner voice, so I finished washing up as quickly as possible, changing into my 'forest wear' – a pair of trousers and a long tunic that was slit up the sides to allow freedom of movement, The color was sea green, and suddenly my heart skipped a beat when I remembered that one day Guy had told me it was his favorite color on me. I'd had this made to please him, wanting to play him for a fool as always at the time; but now I wanted more than anything to show him how proud I was to wear his wedding ring and in a gown that was his favorite color.

My wedding ring! Reluctantly I slid it off of my finger and tucked it into my bodice, safely pressed against my heart between my breasts. Here, nobody would find it and I was certain not to lose it, and having it close to me was almost as good as having it on my finger, I thought as I mounted Shadow, my beautiful mare, and started off in the direction of the camp.

Shadow…everyone asked me at first why I chose that name for her. I didn't have a good answer at first, only that it fit her perfectly, but now I knew. Guy was always near me, whether I could see him there or not – not spying on me (like Robin seemed to from time to time!) but protecting me, looking after me. He had been like my shadow, always at my side even if I didn't know it, and it surprised me to realize that I'd never felt awkward or afraid or irritated by his behavior; now that I was gone I didn't have his soothing presence and I missed it. But calling this most precious gift – well, the one he gave me before last night, I reminded myself – 'Shadow' had seemed so natural to me.

 _You are not alone, Marian!_ I addressed myself, raising my chin. _You have your courage, your determination, and more than that you have Shadow, your wedding ring and the love of the most passionate man alive. It's more than most women have today. So keep holding on, make up your mind and do it. The quicker you make your choice the sooner you will either be free or in his arms again._

* * *

As soon as I arrived near camp and started to dismount, I was pulled off the ground by two strong arms surrounding my waist from behind and turned around in circles several times, making me laugh heartily.

"Finally, you came!"

"Robin, put me down!" I managed to say between laughs.

He put me on my feet, turning me around to face him, engulfing me in a big hug. It felt good to be in his arms, like home. So different from what I had felt with Guy – rather like meeting an old friend or a brother after a long absence.

Suddenly Robin released me from the hug and pulled me against him once more, this time claiming my lips hungrily with his. It startled me and I let out a small squeak of surprise, but apart from that I couldn't seem to figure out how I was supposed to react. But as soon as I regained my composure I pushed him away gently. He was wearing that trademark smirk – _my God, did the two men in my life have to be so similar in so many ways? How was I supposed to NOT think of Guy if everything – even Robin – reminded me of him?_

"Marian, Marian," Robin clicked his tongue at me and started to kiss me again, but this time I was ready to react and turned my head at the last second, his lips coming to rest at my cheek. Robin frowned. "That's not funny, Marian. I want to kiss you – I've missed you!"

"We should go to the camp first," I hedged. "I want to greet everyone."

"Later," Robin whispered as he started to lean into me, his lips and nose near the pulse point of my neck.

 _Oh, please God, not that_ , I prayed wholeheartedly, squirming to free myself before Robin could see it and pick a fight with me.

* * *

Earlier the night before:

After my failed attempt to get Guy to make love to me again, we'd fallen asleep but I woke with a start when I felt him move behind me.

"You're not used to laying with someone else," he smiled sleepily. "Don't worry, you'll learn quickly…"

He started to nudge his nose against the nape of my neck but then stopped, leaning up on his elbow and looking at my neck carefully.

"What?" I asked, a little worried by his behavior.

"Nothing," he grinned like a cat with a bowl of cream.

"Guy…what?"

"I think I might have been a little too…ardent earlier," he replied, unable to help the wolfish smile and my heart fluttered at the expression on his handsome face. "You seem to have a large and rather colorful love bite, my dear."

"What?" I said, pushing him away and running to the mirror to examine the large purple mark on my pale skin. "Oh, Guy…how am I going to hide this?"

"Wear a scarf, it will be gone in a few days," he assured me.

"Days?"

"Marian, it's late. Come back to bed please." Seeing the pleading look in his eyes and his opened arms, I couldn't resist and moved back into his embrace, snuggling against his warm chest. "Now, little one, try to sleep." He kissed my head tenderly and stroked my back while we drifted off into perfect peace and happiness.

* * *

I managed to get away from Robin long enough to wrap the scarf around my neck after forgetting to replace it when I was done with my bath.

"Why are you wearing that?" Robin asked pointedly.

"I took a cold and needed to protect my throat." I was lying, but it was just a little lie so it wasn't too serious, I thought. "Now, come on. I want to see the gang."

"Marian, I was so afraid of losing you yesterday…can't we just stay here alone for a little while longer?"

"We'll have plenty of time later, Robin. I was hoping to get your permission to stay for a while this time."

"Really?" He asked, looking like he was about to jump from happiness when he suddenly grew serious again. "What happened at the castle? Did Gisborne do something to you?"

I had to fight the smug, satisfied grin that wanted so much to appear, and I longed to scream YES! He did something to me, the most incredible thing, in fact, but I couldn't so I tried to be as convincing as possible.

"He did nothing except save everyone in the castle, including me."

Robin scowled when he heard the note of pride I couldn't keep from my voice. "I suppose I'm to add this to his list of…qualities," he said distastefully.

"Yes, you certainly can!" I said, trying to be as neutral as possible. "And you could be grateful to him, because like I said, he saved everyone including Allan and I."

"Allan?" he scoffed. "As if I cared what happens to Allan."

"Robin!" I reprimanded him. "Allan was quite courageous yesterday."

"He saved his own skin, the rat!"

"And mine, and everyone else's there." I was infuriated now. How could he? Robin wasn't even there yesterday – yes, he had searched and found the Sheriff but it was Guy and Allan who had dealt with Jasper and the soldiers when they started to attack us. I couldn't bear anymore of his disdain so I turned on my heel and walked to the camp, leaving Robin to follow behind me. I could hear him kicking at every stone along the way.

The gang welcomed me warmly even if they were a little disconcerted by my desire to stay here again – even for a short time – after the last effort at living in the forest. They gave me the bed Allan had used so I could put away my few things.

I was almost finished and about to join them again when I felt Robin's presence at my back. "I'm coming," I said gently.

"I know, I just wanted to be alone with you for a few more moments."

_Oh, father, please don't let him kiss me again._

I turned to face him, giving him a tender smile and then I kissed him on the cheek. I had started to walk past him when he took my left hand to press a kiss to it.

"Marian…where is your engagement ring?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the kudos and for the second subscription! :) That means so much to me :)
> 
> Like I said on the summary, this story isn't a pro Robin one nor a pro Robin/Marian one. Some will find my Robin OOC on this story but please, first it's a fanfiction not continuance of the show, second please, read the story till the end before bashing.
> 
> You don't know what I want to write, you don't know why I wrote the story this way, you don't know where I want my characters to go, to evolve, and to end... yet :)
> 
> So please, give me the benefit of the doubt knowing that I already warned you that you will maybe not appreciate my Robin for now and be patient, wait til the end of the story to discover what I had in mind when I wrote and write all my characters the way I did and do it.
> 
> Thanks for your understanding :)
> 
> This chapter is shorter than usual but I really hope you will enjoy it anyway :)

"Marian…where is your engagement ring?"

I shivered as soon as this question leaves Robin's lips. He clenched tighter his fingers on mine while his eyes burned mine by their intensity.

"I... I have it with me..." I answered, trying to find the better way to reveled my secret.

"Why don't you wear it on your finger?" His voice was tense now and the grip on my fingers made me whimper as it grasped more.

"I was on the castle, remember?" That wasn't what I wanted to say but Robin behavior raised my anger and not my will to tell him about Guy and me.

"You have leave the castle now, haven't you?" his smile was bittersweet, his eyebrows frowned. "You can put it on your finger now."

He was examinating me closely and for the first time, I felt really awkward in front of him. I didn't liked his behavior. I asked myself if it was a new way for him to be or if he already had acted this way and I didn't noticed before, infatuated like I was. It seemed so strange how this simple night with Guy and the realisation it gave me about some of my feelings had awekened me, as if it had removed a veil before my eyes. Robin seemed so different now, like the spoiled child everyone had described me - particularly my dear late father -, the one I couldn't even imagine so I saw only his beautiful sides.

"So... Marian?" He asked in a domineering voice.

It only spiced my irritation up. I retrieved my hand off his suddenly, raising my chin and braced myself for the inevitable fight to come.

"I will not put it on my finger." I said, stealing my voice.

"What did you just say?" Robin seemed really surprised at my challenging tone.

"I said: "I will not put this ring on my finger."

"And why that?"

"First, I don't like the way you talk to me!"

"Marian, I am your betrothed, I can totally..."

"You can't bully me, no! You told me to not tolerate to be threaded or ill-treated by Guy... I will certainly not let you do the same!"

"What?" He was livid with fury and grasped my forearm so strongly that he made me flinch.

"Robin!" Much interceded, trying to calm down his master.

"Step away Much! I'm not in the mood to deal with you!" Robin scowled at his friend and leaned into me, threatening between his teeth: "Do NOT dare comparing me to this runt!"

"Runt?" I couldn't help but bursted into laugh so loudly and heartedly that all my body was shacked. "Oh Robin! Don't ever use again this word to talk about Guy because if he is a runt, I can't find an appropriate word to define yourself!"

I was as surprised as him and every one else at the venom behind my words! I coudn't bear hearing my childhood friend talking in so bad terms about my husband. Runt? Really? I never had seen a more handsome and well builded man, not even Robin and by far...

I was so angry at Robin that for once, I wasn't afraid to hurt him and decided to say the truth, what I really thought, what I didn't dare to say before.

"Second, I don't like the ring you gave me! I never had!"

"But you..." Robin stammed, letting go of my arm when I squimmed it off his grasp.

"I didn't say I liked it. You not even asked me. We were in that tree and I wanted nothing more than you to leave so I would have agreed with everything you said."

"Really? You didn't wanted to marry me?"

Oh God! Again, he had started to turn into the child from whom his favorite toy had been stolen. I hated it when he did that because normally I just wanted to take him in my arms and soothe him... Well, this time, I needed to talk before... I will soothe him later... if I will...

"Of course I wanted it, Robin! You know I always wanted it! I was talking about the ring, Robin! Don't change the subject and don't try to manipulate me!"

As soon as I said those words, Robin stiffened and raised his chin to me, his eyes calculating, trying to understand what was really happening here, why I was so full of fight. I took the ring from the pocket where I had it and held it out to him.

"What made you think I could love this kind of ring? Robin, we know each others since I'm a little girl or at least, I thought you knew me... but you apparently don't! This ring his too heavy, too big, too sparkling... it could be perfect for a den mother, but certainly not for me! How do you think I could handle my bow with this on my hand?" When I saw the little smirk he couldn't hide quick enough, I understood everything: "That's it, if you let me handle a bow once we were married! You wanted me to be your wife to cook and be heavy with child and nothing else? Are you mad? Did you really think I will agree with that way of thoughts?"

"Marian..." he tried to calm me down but I was beyond angryness, fury took me so much that I wanted to scream:

"How could you think I will be in adoration in front of you, being here to wait my hero and being nothing more than your servant? I am a FIGHTER! Don't you understand? For five years, I took care of everyone in this country, defided the Sheriff and his men and never had been arrested by anyone!"

"I recall you had been severly hurt last time you were the Nightwatchman..." he said flippantly, his eyes mocking me.

"Yes, I had been... but only because I was stupid enough to follow your suggestion! I had been only because I wanted to prove you that marrying Guy would not change me! That I would be the same Marian as ever!"

"Well, excuse-me my dear," he said in a honey tone that give me nausea. "If you need to follow my instructions to prove you're right and failed by being hurt, it seems you're not so an extraordinary fighter and that you really need to be check and put in the right way..."

He couldn't say more because I screamed and stepped to him ready to slap hard his face. But Djaq and Will grasped me and Djaq whispered soothing words on my hear, while Will stroked slowly my back with his hand.

Finally, when my body stopped shivering with rage, Djaq and Will released me and I sighed deeply. I opened my eyes and looked in Robin's eyes: he was concerned but he couldn't hide his cheecky façade and my heart felt a pang of pain. I never saw him being really "him" with me. I already talked to him about it the night he hide in my bedroom at the castle to escape the guards. I told him I needed to see who the really Robin was, I needed him to show me what he really thought and felt... but he never had and probably will never be.

On the other side, Guy had too a façade: a hard, unchangeable one, because he needed to protect himself against the Sheriff, against the Dark Knights, against the nobles, against Robin... and even sometimes against me... but when he had asked me to marry him and since then, he never had shown it to me again; he had been Guy, the real man, even if I knew how many secrets he was hidding from me, I knew that I already saw deeper of him than anyone has ever seen.

And I missed this intimacy, the way his eyes looked at me, showing me everything he was feeling - at least, as much as it concerned me. I knew now that I could never had the same with Robin not even if I waited for a century.

I looked at the ring I still had in my hand and try again to give it to Robin. He folded his arms to his chest and I couldn't help but smile.

"What is so funny?" he said in a grumpy tone.

"You... you hate Guy so much while you're so alike him sometimes..." I shacked my head, my smile warming when I thought at all their similarities: the two of them had been orphans, the two of them had bad temper and could be really cheeky and annoying in a daily basis, they folded their arms everytime something wasn't right with them, they loved as passionatly as they hated... I couldn't go farther because Robin exploded again, stilling me with surprise:

"Stop talking about Gisborne! Gisborne, Gisborne, Gisborne... do you have only his name on your mouth? Careful, Marian! If I didn't knew better, I thought you are totally in love with that man!"

Robin sneered at me and my ire and shame that he was joking about my husband and I raised like a geyser. I was ready to tell him how much I cared for Guy, how happy I was to be his wife and how whole and complete I had felt in his arms when Djaq put again her hand on my shoulder and shushed me by a quiet "please, Marian, not now."

I turned my eyes to hers, surprised but she nodded with a sweet smile and pleaded me with her eyes to keep my secret, whatever it was...

I sighed deeply and turned to leave.

"Well... What that suppose to mean, Marian?" Robin told me again, in a teasing way, but I didn't wanted to play his game, so, without facing him, I asked:

"Robin, at least tell me, where did you find the ring?"

"What?" he was unsettled by my question.

"The question is simple: where did you find it?" I turned to him, my eyebrows a little raised: "Did you buy it?" He didn't answer. "Did you... "borrow" it?" He moved a little, crimson with shame. "That what I thought." I said, looking a last time at the ring before adding: "I remember the day when you reclaimed me the silver necklace Guy gave me..."

"That was different!" Robin shouted.

"In what way?"

"He had stolen it to a girl..."

"Ohhh... it was different because you stoled it... sorry, "borrowed" it to a woman."

"It was her mother's wedding present..." His voice was unsure now.

"Well, that was right... but please, tell me. This woman to whom you "borrowed" this ring; did she said you give it to her? It was maybe her wedding ring or her bethrothal ring... Who knows?" I locked my eyes to Robin's and, in the calmer tone I never had used I added: "Perhaps it was her mother's wedding present too... So, I can't keep it, you do understand, don't you?" Without releasing his eyes, I showed him the ring and let it fell to the ground. "Perhaps you should find this lady and take it back to her like you did with the necklace..."

I finally turned back let him stood still in surprise and just said before leaving followed by Djaq and Will: "But perhaps this only works when it's Guy's present to me."


	9. Chapter 9

After my argument with Robin I needed to be alone for a while, so when I heard someone following me I turned around, a little irritated. I relaxed only when I saw that it was Djaq, but I tensed again as soon as I realized that Will was with her.

Sensing my distress, Djaq asked him to leave us alone for a moment and I couldn't suppress the little smile that appeared at the corners of my mouth when he took her hand and kissed it lightly before leaving us. His eyes revealed how much love he had in his heart for the only woman in the gang…apart from myself, of course. But was I really part of the gang? Did I really belong here in the forest? Did I belong to Robin? No, not really, not now anyway. But for now this was all I had so I needed to get used to it, and the sooner the better.

Djaq moved to the base of a huge tree and took a seat, inviting me to do the same. We were protected from the worst of the sun's heat but still warm here, and it was a pleasant evening. Djaq's soothing presence helped me relax enough to be able to talk again.

"Why didn't you let me talk earlier?" I asked, but in the silence my voice resonated so that we both jumped in surprise and I chuckled.

"I knew that what you had to say would only exacerbate the situation, and there was no need to get into that at the moment," she explained quietly.

"How did you know what I was going to say?" I asked then, astonished.

"I am not sure, but I had the feeling it had to do with Gisborne. Something happened between you and him?"

"How…?" I couldn't say anything more, my treacherous body making me shiver a little, my cheeks crimson.

"Something very important happened in Nottingham yesterday."

She wasn't accusing me of anything; her tone was surprised but she didn't judge me, and in that instant I realized she was probably the closest thing to a real friend I could have in this life. I welcomed the feeling wholeheartedly – I hadn't felt so close to another woman since my mother's death, and I desperately needed someone to confide in, so I decided to confess to Djaq what happened the day before.

"Guy asked me to marry him when Nottingham was besieged, just before the attack."

"And you said yes," she stated calmly.

"I said yes."

"Did the ceremony take place?"

A sweet smile crossed my face as I recalled my wedding to Guy. "Yes, it did."

"Was it under duress?" she asked then.

"Certainly not!" I replied, a little on the defensive side.

"I'm sorry, Marian, but your previous attempt at wedding this man didn't turn out very well. I had to ask," she explained.

"I know, I know," I sighed deeply. "But this was different. It was…" When I sighed a second time Djaq's eyes met mine and we found ourselves giggling like the young women we would have been, had circumstances not forced us to grow up too quickly.

"Quite nice, I would say by the look in your eyes," she acknowledged with a grin.

I was lost for a moment in the memory of our wedding, marveling at how remarkable the day had been; from the way Guy came back to the castle, ready to die by my side, and the way he'd saved everyone – including me – and then the wedding itself. And most of all, the night we'd spent together…

"Did he bed you?" Djaq's voice startled me out of my thoughts.

"I beg your pardon?" I was stunned by the question – there was no note of scandal in her tone, just a simple curiosity.

"Yes, did he…did you…?" she pressed.

"Yes, we…" I started to say, hiding my embarrassment behind my hands. "But he never…forced me. I was willing…" I stammered.

Djaq nodded. "That's good."

"You don't even sound surprised."

"Perhaps because you have always been stirred by him," she agreed. "I was certain that something like this would happen one day, and when I saw you this morning you were glowing so bright I knew something must have happened and that Gisborne was somehow involved."

When I looked at her again she was wearing that sweet smile that she got when she was thinking about Will, and we shared a silent moment while we considered the men in our lives. But too soon we were disturbed by a strident cry approaching the camp. Without a moment's hesitation we were on our feet, running as fast as we could to the source of the turmoil.

"Robin, what is the matter?" I asked as soon as we arrived. He looked at me and chose to ignore me while he returned his attention to the teen who was trying to regain his breath.

I wanted to scream at Robin to stop being such a child, but Will spoke first.

"James is the Butcher's son. His father sent him to us because they just saw a convoy passing through the village. It was just a few soldiers and a cart but it was heavy and bore the mark of the Black Knights on it."

"We need to attack! Whatever is in that cart, it's probably something we should stop them from having," Much said, looking to Robin for confirmation.

"Do you know where they were heading, lad?" Robin asked the teenager.

"They were heading for Nottingham, but they didn't know how to get there. Father gave them directions through the forest, so they'll be there in no time."

"Thank you, James, you did a good job," Robin said, tousling the boy's hair. "Now, get back to your father, and tell him we appreciate the information!"

The young James smiled and was about to leave when Robin called him back. He approached the boy and put a necklace with the gang's tag around his neck, and James's eyes widened more than ever. He stood as tall as he could, showing how much he valued the great honor he'd received. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him. Nobody except Robin could gain so much respect just by giving someone a piece of wood on a cord. I just hoped this young boy and his family wouldn't pay a high price for helping Robin and the gang.

Just after the boy left the camp, Robin started giving orders for the trap. "Little John, you will bring up the rear – and don't hesitate to hit them hard!"

"Aye," agreed the older man, gripping the quarterstaff that had saved his own life and that of the others many times over.

"Will and Djaq, you take the middle."

The two of them smiled at each other and then nodded to their superior.

"Much and I will take the lead," Robin finished, and Much looked like he wanted to dance with happiness at the thought of he and his master teaming up again. "You have your orders," Robin said dismissively.

Djaq sent me an apologetic smile and I turned to Robin, gathering my courage. "What are my orders, Robin?" I asked.

"Your orders?" He looked at me for a moment, studying my face before adding, "You will stay here tonight."

"Why? Robin, you know I'm a good fighter, and…"

"Your ORDERS for now, Marian, are to stay here! And don't sulk, that won't do you any good, believe me. For now I'm not sure where your loyalties lie anymore," he said with a frown. "Wait a while and we will see, but certainly not tonight."

With that he turned on his heels and left, the gang following behind him. To say that I wasn't happy was an understatement! I was back again at the same level I was the last time I came here.

* * *

I tried to occupy myself but it was nearly dark so there wasn't much to do. A terrible bad feeling knotted my stomach and I couldn't sit still any longer. I needed to find them or it would be too late. I started to run as fast as I could in the direction I knew they'd traveled, knowing if I wasted one second I would be too late…but too late for whom? Little John, Will Djaq, Much…or Robin, perhaps? But nothing else mattered but for me to get to them and to act. I wasn't too far away now because I could hear voice and the harsh sound of metal on metal.

I didn't jump into the melee, though, hiding behind a tree while I evaluated the situation. Everything was going smoothly so I started to think I had worried for nothing when suddenly something happened. Robin was fighting two opponents when I saw a guard who seemed to have been knocked out climb to his feet once more. I stepped out from behind my tree, calling Robin's name so loudly that Robin and his two adversaries looked at me in surprise, but the man with the crossbow wasn't distracted.

Like a fog I saw Robin's angry face when he noticed me – I had disobeyed his orders and distracted him while he was fighting, and I knew I would have to explain myself in a long and tiring argument later – but I didn't care for now. I aimed my arrow at the guard who was about to end Robin's life, and I took the shot. In the mean time Robin and his two foes were fighting again, Robin's back to the guard with the crossbow.

My arrow hit the man in his left shoulder, a little higher than his heart, and with a cry he staggered a little and triggered his own arrow. I was in shock, as if the scene was playing in slow motion before my eyes, and I found myself praying to God to spare the life of my friend. God must have been listening because in that moment Robin moved just a little and the arrow grazed his arm before ending its journey in the body of one of his opponents. Jumping back in surprise, Robin looked behind him, seeing the guard with the crossbow on his knees with an arrow in his shoulder, and then he turned his head toward me. I sighed in relief and smiled, and he nodded to me gratefully in a way that I knew must have cost him a lot given how angry he was at me.

"Careful, Robin!" I cried when the second guard against whom Robin was fighting recovered from the surprise of seeing his companion killed in such a way and attacked Robin again. A few seconds later he was lying next to his companion on the ground.

Finally, after all the guards were defeated and the cart had been driven to a secure hiding place, the gang and I could rest a little while, taking care of the little scratches and cuts they had suffered. I wanted to take care of Robin but he pushed me away and asked for Djaq. His reaction made me angry because he knew she was busy but didn't care if he disturbed her, even though I was free to help him.

I was happy that she didn't obey him instantly but instead finished what she was doing; I loved that someone stood up to him besides me. Djaq was with Will, who had received a rather deep cut on his shoulder, and she was nursing him and soothing him with her sweet smile and the endearing terms that he was the only one she used for. I couldn't help the pang of loneliness that I felt when I saw Will take her hand in his and kiss the back of it. I only let the castle this morning but I missed Guy so much already. I wondered if he was thinking of me, if he missed me too…

I couldn't think any more because at that moment Robin was patched up and began to argue with me about my 'disobedience.'

"You should have stayed at the camp, like I said" he shouted at me, still standing right in front of me.

I didn't like when he did that because the way I was seated he towered over me. He used to do that when I was a little girl to impress me and to get me to obey his orders, but I wasn't a little girl anymore.

"Perhaps…and perhaps I should have let you get yourself killed, too."

"She's right, Robin," Little John interjected, trying to calm the younger man. "She saved your life today."

"I saw the man but I was too far away to help you, Master," Much said apologetically to Robin and added, looking at me, "Thank you, Lady Marian. You saved him when I couldn't, and I am grateful."

"Don't worry, Much," I said, trying to ease the kind (but sometimes rather annoying) man. "I couldn't let him die even with his bad temper and constant need to be in control."

The others chuckled at the truth but regained themselves quickly when they saw how Robin was glaring at them. Wanting to ease the tension, I breathed slowly and, in a voice that held no teasing tone, I said, "I'm really sorry, Robin. I know you wanted me to stay at camp for my own safety, and I'm grateful for that. But I had this strange feeling that something serious was about to happen, and…"

"And you ignored my orders and did as you wanted!" he finished.

"Robin, that wasn't it…"

"Yes, it was! I'm grateful you saved my life, Marian. I really am." His tone was anything but grateful, though I could hear plenty of annoyance. "But Marian, how can you stay if you don't follow the rules or the orders you're given?"

"I will, Robin, I promise!"

"No, I'm not ready to believe you." He started to walk toward the horses, calling back over his shoulder. "Not now, at least."

I heard him leaving with his horse, Much at his side as always, to go back to the camp. The cart was well hidden here.

Everyone had been a little disappointed when they opened the box and found gold, of course, but a lot less than expected. There was, however, a lot of parchment, so much that it couldn't all be read tonight. Some were pacts, some were legal documents, some letters between the Sheriff and Prince John or the Sheriff and some of the Black Knights. It could be a real treasure once we had taken the time to examine them all.

Little John and Will prepared themselves to leave, too, letting Djaq talk to me a little longer.

"Marian, I'm not certain it's a good idea for you to come back to camp with us for a while."

"Where will I go? I can't go back to the Castle, not now…and I have nowhere else." I was ready to cry. I didn't belong anywhere and no one seemed to want me now.

"Don't worry Marian. We'll take you to Clun. There's an old woman there who would be happy to have you stay for a night or two. She always said we could count on her to help if we needed it," Djaq said kindly.

I smiled in thanks and we set off for Clun. I was so tired that I was happy when the old woman welcomed us warmly and showed me the straw mattress on the ground where I could lay. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was sound asleep, and I woke when the sun's beams began playing across my face through the curtains that covered the only window in the room.

* * *

Ashamed by how late I'd slept, I woke up quickly, running my fingers through my hair to try to smooth my appearance. The old woman, Vivian, smiled when she saw me.

"How did you sleep, my little lady?"

She was in her eighties, I was sure of it, the skin of her face deeply lined and creased with age, but you could see how beautiful she once was with her freckles and brilliant blue eyes. She might have only had a few teeth left but when she smiled it was so warm, so kind that all you could see was how luminous she was, and as soon as I met her I felt like home, like I had a grandmother once again. I had grown up surrounded by people much older than me, but no one had ever made me feel as comfortable as Vivian had in only a few minutes.

In the end I stayed here for almost two weeks, working with her in her little garden, helping her with her herbal preparations, learning from her. She wasn't a doctor or a healer, but she had many practical skills and knew a great deal about what you could do with plants. Her home smelled pleasant and green and the more I stayed here, the more I felt at peace, far away from the troubles I had to deal with every day.

One day, though, when we were working on plants to ease women's pain during their cycles, a sudden thought came to my mind.

"Vivian?"

"Yes, little Lady?"

She had called me that since the first morning and I discovered that I loved the simple term of endearment that she used for me.

"I know someone who was recently married…secretly. This person needs to know how she can be with her husband without risking carrying his child," I hedged, not quite meeting her gaze.

"I see," Vivian said, walking to one of the shelves and moving a few bottles before taking one and handing it to me. "This might help. It allows a woman to be bedded without fearing for the consequences."

"Thank you," I said, licking my lips as I took the bottle. I felt my cheeks burning at the thoughts running through my head…Guy without his clothes, his hands on me, his lips on my neck, my breasts…

"She has to wait until the tenth day after her courses and take a spoonful each morning until the twentieth day. Then repeat the same thing each month until she is ready to have a baby."

"Tenth day…" I thought out loud, my mind trying to remember when I'd last bled. "But…what if she hasn't had her menses?" I asked, feeling awkward now because I couldn't remember. I hadn't exactly been regular to being with, and all of the stress of leaving the castle could have disrupted my cycle.

"Has her husband bedded her since her courses were upon her last?"

I could only nod.

"Then she should not take the potion. If there is a chance she might be pregnant, she could kill the baby or harm herself."

"What? How could I be pregnant? It was only once!" I blurted, scared as I had never been before.

"Once is enough, little lady," Vivian said with a smile, having guessed right about me being the person in question.

"I could be pregnant? Really?" The thought started to grow in my mind, creating feelings that were unfamiliar and not entirely unpleasant.

"Yes, my dear. But the important question is, did you agree to the bedding or not? Were you forced…?"

"No!" I cried, wanting to protect Guy. "I was willing…more than willing, even," I admitted, biting my lip, my hand reaching unconsciously to the place where Guy had marked me with a love bite, long since faded. I felt even more lonely when the mark had disappeared several days before – it was as if every trace of Guy had vanished from me.

"I can see," Vivian laughed, not unkindly. "Having a tender and skilled partner is a good thing, believe me."

I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at her statement.

"I wasn't always a little old lady," she teased me gently. "Once I was young and beautiful. I even had three husbands."

"Three?"

"Yes. One died of the plague ten years after we were wed. The second just disappeared one day, though I always believed that he had been killed because he loved women too much…but he wasn't really all that loved by their husbands, if you get my meaning."

We laughed together, though I felt ashamed to be laughing at another's misfortune, but Vivian took my hand, her grip tight on mine.

"It was long ago – almost fifty years now, and he wasn't a good man. I was almost happy when he disappeared." Her eyes grew a little sad then. "It wasn't the same as when I lost my third husband, the real love of my life."

"What happened?" I asked, so enraptured by her telling that I couldn't wait to know everything about this fascinating woman's past.

"I met him when I had just turned forty. He was kind, generous, and so handsome. We lived together in peace, loving each other more each day for almost twenty years. But one day he woke up with no sensation in his left hand. At first we thought it would pass, but it didn't, and with each passing day he felt less and less of his body. Finally we knew what had happened: he was a leper."

I let out a little cry of dismay at her revelation. I knew of the disease, it was one of the most terrible things that could befall a person. Once you had it, there was no cure, just a slow, lingering death.

"We tried to hide it as best and as long as we could, but finally someone found out and my Oliver was banned from the village. They called me a widow while my husband was yet alive, and I never saw him again."

"Did you ever find out what happened to him?" I asked shyly.

"Yes, I knew a kind Lady whose husband also became a leper and who gave me news about my Oliver. But after her death in a tragic accident, I never heard about him again. I prefer to think that he is resting now, and that I will meet him again soon."

I reached out and stroked her rippled cheek and smiled tenderly at her, showing her all of my love, trying to soothe her.

"So you see, I know what love is," she told me, regaining her calm voice once more. "My question is, if the bedding was willing and you are in fact pregnant, do you want the child?"

"I…I don't know…I never thought of that before. I mean, yes, I thought of having children one day, but not so soon, nor with…him," I stammered.

"Ahh!" she said, a look of understanding crossing her face. "It wasn't the man you expected to marry."

"No, not at all," I chuckled, laughing at my previous dreams.

"But this secret wedding, was it the right idea or a wrong one?"

"It seemed right at the time," I hedged.

"And now?" Vivian pressed.

I shook my head. "I don't know, really. I mean, he is so different from what I expected to have for a husband…"

"And yet?" she prodded.

"And yet when he bedded me, he was so kind, so gentle, so loving…"

"You fell in love with him?"

"Well, my body certainly did!" We laughed together when I realized how scandalous the things I was saying were.

"And your mind?" Vivian asked.

"I don't know. I think I've always found him more than attractive; something has always made me want to know him better because I've always believed there was more worth to him than everyone seemed to think there was."

"You feel completely lost when it comes to him, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," I admitted.

"And thinking of carrying his child…how does that make you feel?"

"I don't know…" The more I thought of it, the more I found myself smiling: carrying Guy's child, nursing his baby at my breast, seeing him smile as he looked at us. I could imagine him with a tiny infant in his arms, a little one with his amazing blue eyes and beautiful nose…well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wish for the nose, I conceded.

"Well, it's clear the idea isn't repulsive to you," Vivian said, her voice sweet. "Perhaps this baby might be a blessing, don't you think?"

A blessing? Maybe, yes, it would be a chance for Guy to have the family he'd always dreamed of, to be complete and happy at last. I know he loved me, but having a child with me? I wasn't so sure.

"May I ask who your secret husband is, little Lady?"

"Guy," I whispered almost dreamily, lost in my thoughts.

"Guy, as in Gisborne?" Vivian asked, clearly surprised.

"Yes," I acknowledged.

"I understand perfectly why your body could fall for him now!" she told me with a wink, and I blushed at the innuendo. "But as handsome as he is, he certainly has a terrible reputation. What a shame, too, when you consider how sweet and earnest he was as a boy!"

"What?" I said, coming back to reality abruptly. I took her hands in mine and searched her face. "You knew him when he was younger? When? How?"


	10. Chapter 10

"What?" I said, coming back to reality abruptly. I took her hands in mine and searched her face. "You knew him when he was younger? When? How?"

"Oh, many years ago now, here at Locksley."

"He came to Locksley? When?"

"Little Lady," Vivian smiled, "he didn't come to Locksley. He lived here."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If he lived here…Robin should have known him! Surely he must have – was that the reason they hated each other so strongly? Did something happen between them all those years ago? But why didn't Robin ever mention being raised with Guy?

"He arrived with his family when he was four, I think. He was such a sweet boy, and striking even then with that dark hair and those big blue eyes of his." She gave me a knowing look. "He was always kind to everyone and was as good-natured and handsome as his mother."

"How is it that I didn't know him?" I asked, still stunned by the revelation.

I thought about the way she described Guy, Vivian's words touching my heart. _A sweet boy…good-natured and handsome…_ How I would love to have known him when he was this charming young Guy. For an instant I could imagine how our own baby would be based on her description of its father. _Our_ baby…maybe I really wanted it after all.

"You met him once at Locksley Hall," Vivian continued. "You must have been, oh, about four, I think."

"Really? How did you know that?"

"I worked at his house for several years," she explained. "I helped prepare for the visit to the Hall. I saw you, Little Lady, and you were as beautiful as a little doll. Sir Guy thought you were adorable and talked about you for several days."

"That was him?" I asked, amazed as a sudden moment of realization hit me.

He was the one I'd thought about for years, the 'man' I'd met when I was little and had fallen a little bit in love with even at that tender age. He was so tall, so handsome, and told me how pretty I was, and he'd filled all my childhood dreams for many years. He was the valiant knight who always appeared every time I needed him, with his perfect hair and eyes as blue as the summer sky and a smile that even angels would envy.

In time, Robin slowly replaced my hero little by little in my thoughts, and instead of a handsome knight fighting to protect me, I dreamed about a brave but rash man with whom I would fight with shoulder-to-shoulder. Now I knew it would always be nothing more than a dream, since Robin told me he would never fight by my side again.

Vivian wiped away the tears I didn't know I was crying.

"Well, it seems he made the same impression on you that you made on him. You know, sometimes you meet your soulmate without even knowing it until life reminds you," she said gently.

"Vivian, why wasn't he at Locksley anymore?"

"He left two years before your father became Sheriff of Nottingham," she said.

"Why did he leave?" I pressed.

But she shook her head at me. "I'm sorry, Little Lady, that's not my secret to tell. You need to ask your husband to explain what happened and what he's been through."

"But…every time I try to talk about it, he withdraws into himself," I complained, frustrated.

"Trust takes time, Marian. And for him, trusting someone is the hardest thing to do. But apparently he made a place for you in his heart, so if you take the time and handle his heart with care you could help him. Make him open his soul to you…you know, even in your most intimate moments, you can gain his trust by showing him how much you love…" she paused when she saw how I started in surprise at her choice of words. The notion made me uneasy, so Vivian smiled and patted my hand. "…how much you care for him, and how happy and at peace you want him to be in your arms."

I felt disturbed now. Three weeks ago I could hardly admit to myself how stirred I was by him, and now I was married to the man, realizing that I cared for him so deeply that it frightened me, and I could be carrying his baby…a little version of him could be growing inside me, just beneath my heart…

"Believe me Little Lady, even if you doubt it now, Guy of Gisborne is worth all the time and support you could give him. He has certainly done some horrible things but I blame everything he's been through in his life…once upon a time he was an innocent boy, very smart and honest and kind, and a kind boy can't become a horrible man. He may be able to hide his inner personality to protect himself but sooner or later, in time and if the people around him are loving, his true nature will be revealed." Vivian smiled at the look on my face. "Believe me, Marian. Show him how much you care for him and support him, and you will never be disappointed."

My old friend put her hand on my stomach and stroked it gently.

"Give him a child and he will give everything in return to love and protect the both of you; that you can be sure of."

Vivian went back to work on her garden then, leaving me to think about what she'd said. I was so tired after all of the revelations today that I decided to lay down on my straw mattress for a little while and rest while I tried to make sense of my feelings. I closed my eyes to shut out the outside world, and suddenly something Vivian said reminded me of what I'd overheard when Nottingham was besieged.

Guy had lived at Locksley for a long time, but now he was an orphan, and Vivian had told me that he'd been through terrible things. The old man at the castle the day of the siege had said, _"We should have helped you."_

* * *

_Just before Sir Jasper told us time had run out, we finished preparing everything for the fight to come when the old man had come up to Guy and asked him if he could speak to him for a moment. Guy had nodded sharply, standing taller and stiffer than before, and he seemed wary of what this man would say to him._

" _Sir Guy, I want to thank you for what you are doing for us today, for your bravery in trying to save us. I don't know if we'll survive today but I don't want to die without telling you that you are a great leader, and we are proud to have you as our Lord this day."_

_My heart skipped a beat at the praise that this man was giving my husband, and I was proud of the amazing man I'd married. Guy was uneasy, unsure what to say and how to react, but he covered his mouth with his hand in a familiar gesture and I couldn't help but smile at the realization that he was deeply moved by these complements. He coughed a little and, not trusting his voice, my husband nodded once…but the old man wasn't finished yet._

" _I wanted to apologize, too, for all the wrong we did to you…and your family."_

_As soon as the word 'family' escaped the lips of the old man, Guy's eyes narrowed and he clenched his fists._

" _I was only a peasant and didn't have any power, but I should have taken your side…we all should have!"_

" _That's enough," Guy said roughly, starting to walk away from the old man. But that didn't stop the peasant and he followed my husband._

" _You were so young, so vulnerable. We never should have let you go. We should have been here for you. Nothing they said against you or your family was right, and we knew that you were being wrongly accused. I will never forgive myself for not standing up for you and your family."_

_Now my husband was still. I couldn't understand what was happening at the time but it was certainly something terribly important for when Guy turned back to us his eyes were unnaturally bright with what looked like unshed tears, and I had never seen his face as distressed as it was now._

_The old man seemed very disturbed – not afraid, just terribly guilty. He bowed before Guy and said, "Please, Sir Guy, forgive me for my cowardice, for letting you down when you needed help the most. Ask anything of me that you wish, I will do it. But please, forgive me."_

_Guy stepped up to the man and put his hand on the peasant's shoulder, making the man flinch in fear of being beaten or worse. "Look at me."_

_I was surprised as the old man by Guy's behavior, but the peasant looked up at my husband as requested._

" _Thank you," Guy said quietly. "I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words, and you are the only person who has ever thought to say them. What is your name?"_

" _Elliot Swank."_

" _Elliot Swank," Guy echoed then, his voice cracking with suppressed emotion. "I forgive you."_

_Elliot extended his hand and clasped Guy's tightly, and at first my husband stiffened but then he seemed to relax a little, letting go of the burden of pain and bitterness that he'd been carrying for far too long. Elliot's other hand came to rest on Guy's shoulder and suddenly in front of me I saw, not the Sheriff's henchman and a peasant, but rather a young boy being comforted by a man who was old enough to be his grandfather, trying to ease his sorrow by giving him the tenderness and care that he'd longed for all of his life. Guy hastily wiped at his eyes and I found my own were damp with tears at the sight of my strong, brave husband as broken and fragile as he was now._

_It took him a moment to recover from the emotional exchange and he released the old man's hand as he composed himself._

" _Forgive me," he said awkwardly._

" _You need never ask my forgiveness, my lord. I'm the one who must redeem myself to you. Tell me what I can do, Sir Guy. Please…" Elliot replied._

" _I do have something I would ask of you, but…" Guy turned to me with a smile and in a sweet voice said, "Marian, my love, would you be so kind as to give me a moment with Elliot, please?"_

_I wanted to argue but I felt he really needed me to obey for once, so I nodded and left them with a faint smile. I walked across the room but couldn't stop looking at them. The two men talked a little while longer, looking at me several times as they did so, and when the conversation ended they shook hands earnestly and separated. Guy returned to my side, his hand coming to rest on my back, and he traced soothing circles there._

_In a distant voice he said, "A very brave man, this Swank."_

" _What was he talking about, Guy?" I asked, but he ignored the question and continued to stroke my back._

" _I think it's time for me to make sure everything is ready for the battle," he said then. "I will see you when I'm finished."_

_And then he left me._

I hadn't thought about that moment since the day of the siege, forgetting it amid all the chaos of what happened after. But Vivian had reminded me of the conversation and now I was more curious than ever, desperate to know what happened to Guy. So Robin and Guy had lived in the same place at the same time as boys? Perhaps I could ask Robin…no, that was a bad idea, I thought immediately. I would have to wait until I could ask Guy in person again. But when would that be?

* * *

I was longing to see him now, but I didn't know what to do. If I really was pregnant it meant I would probably have to return to the Castle. But there were so many things that needed to be resolved before then, so many questions to be answered…and I didn't want the baby to be the only reason I was returning to my husband; I didn't want to resent the little one for a single instant for forcing me to make a difficult choice. When I returned to Guy…if I returned to Guy, it would be willingly, sure of my choice and not forced in any way to do so. I still had my doubts about him and his place at the Sheriff's side, and I wasn't sure I could just ignore the things he'd done, no matter how much I was stirred by him. If I returned to Nottingham, I had to know that I was making the right choice, not one tainted by guilt, shame or regret. And if he bedded me again, I wanted to be with him wholeheartedly, feeling every sensation, sharing them with him and returning all of the incredible pleasure he gave me without hesitation or restraint.

"Sir Guy is here!" a teenage voice shouted from the edge of the village. "Matthew is with him, and he's in bad shape."

Immediately all of the villagers gathered at the center of town, waiting to see why my husband was there with the boy. Had he beaten Matthew? What had happened?

I hid myself as best as I could but I couldn't help wanting to see my husband and understand what all the turmoil was about.

As soon as I saw Guy riding his destrier, graceful and handsome as ever, my heart was ready to jump out of my chest, my breath came hard and my lips were dry. I hadn't seen him in weeks, and it was too long. I needed to see him, to talk to him, to kiss him…I wanted to be with him right now. Well…as soon as I could manage to get him alone, of course.

But my daydreaming ceased as soon as it started when I focused on the child sitting in front of Guy, his left shoulder against my husband's chest, his right leg resting on the neck of the horse. An open wound was visible and my stomach did a queasy flip at the sight of the bone protruding from the gash. Suddenly I doubled over and threw up. I felt ashamed of myself – I was the Night Watchman, yet I couldn't stand the sight of a little blood and a bone? What had become of my courage?

I stopped chastising myself when Guy reached the boy's parents and refused to hand him down to them. Instead he dismounted his horse and to my utter surprise and wonder (and not just mine, from the looks on the faces of the villagers) he carried the boy in his strong arms and held him against his chest, making him as comfortable as possible as he rested the broken leg of the youngster on his arm. He shushed the boy when he couldn't suppress a cry of pain.

"You will be fine, lad, be brave." Guy turned to the parents then and said, "I sent my man to fetch the physician. Your son will be in good hands, I swear it to you."

Everyone looked at him, incredulous. Was this the same man that had burned so many houses and ordered so many beatings and other cruelties?

A sudden movement near the destrier caused the horse to start in fear and bump into Guy, jarring him and aggravating the pain in the child's leg. The boy couldn't suppress a cry and the tears flowed from his eyes in huge drops.

"Matthew! A boy don't cry," his father said, his voice harsh.

Guy turned to him then and frowned, taking care not to make the boy's pain worse as he stepped closer to the man and growled at him, "Your son has broken his leg badly. He is brave enough not to scream, even if the pain is hardly bearable. I know this, because I did the same to my leg when I was a boy." Guy narrowed his eyes at the boy's father. "You will speak to him kindly or I will see that you experience the same pain, and we shall see how well you handle it."

I was both thrilled by his threat to the father – he had stood up for the child and it made my heart swell with pride – and afraid, as I knew he could easily do as he promised if the father continued to provoke him. Guy really was an enigma and the more I discovered him the more I was lost in all of the discrepancies of his character.

"It's alright, lad," he said to the boy then, his voice earnest and concerned. "Cry if you like, you don't have to be ashamed or afraid."

Guy's voice cracked a little as he spoke, but what surprised me most was that, when he was talking to the child, it was as if he forgot anyone else was there. He was comforting the boy, and nothing was more important to him at that moment.

And suddenly I felt wetness on my cheeks and my fingers came away covered in tears when I brushed my hand over my face. I was so moved by the discovery that Guy would make an amazing father, and I realized that I not only hoped to have his baby, but found myself praying that I was pregnant now. Vivian was right – no other child would feel as secure and loved as ours. I put my hand on my stomach and stroked it, saying to myself and what I hoped would be our baby, " _Your father is the most surprising, inexplicable man on Earth, but he will love you more than his own life, believe me little one."_

I turned my attention back to Guy, who was still comforting the child.

"My father always told me that crying doesn't mean you're not a man," he said, enrapturing everyone with his deep voice. It was as if we all succumbed to his charms. "It means that you are humble enough to know your limits and admit them. So lad, if you need to cry, don't feel ashamed."

But Matthew seemed beyond tears, looking up at Guy with awe in his eyes, amazed by how kind this man he'd been taught to fear so much was being to him. I could see in his eyes how troubled he was; he had the wood tag the youngest boy had created (I was surprised Guy hadn't taken it from his neck already) so he and his friends could play Robin Hood. Robin was their hero, and Guy was the villain, the devil incarnate…well, until the encounter today. I felt so happy knowing that now other people had seen what kind of man Guy really was when he wasn't hiding behind the mask of the evil henchman.

Maybe that sweet boy, that good-natured and handsome child wasn't as far away as I thought he was.

Allan and the physician arrived soon after and Guy reluctantly agreed to leave the boy in his capable hands. But as they took Matthew inside the cottage, Guy took the boy's father by the arm, leaned closer to him and whispered something to the man, who lowered his head with wide eyes and nodded several times in fear before my husband released his grip.

"Do we return to the castle now, Giz?" Allan asked, and I couldn't help but smile when I saw how Guy rolled his eyes at the lack of respect his second always showed so openly.

"No, I think I will stay here a little longer," Guy replied. "You go back to the castle."

"Well, I'm not being funny but I'm not sure the Sheriff will be pleased to…you know what? I think I'll go back to the castle," Allan said when he saw the way Guy was looking at him.

"Good." My husband turned his head to the house where Matthew was being treated, but not quickly enough to hide his little smirk at Allan's behavior.

* * *

Allan started to walk to his mount, grumbling that he didn't want to have to deal with the Sheriff, when I attracted his attention and gestured for him to come to me.

"Marian? What are you doing here? Guy told me you were at the Abbey…"

"And you believed it?" I asked him pointedly.

He shrugged. "Not really."

"Allan, what happened to that boy?"

He searched my face for a moment and then nodded, leaning against the fence next to the field. "We were going to collect taxes…"

I sighed deeply and Allan raised his hands in defense. "Do you want the story or not?" I nodded and he began again. "So, as I said, we were going to collect taxes and were with some guards, you know, in case something went wrong."

I stiffened then and it was enough to stop Allan's story once more.

"If you're going to interrupt me after every word…"

"Fine," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. "Finish the story please."

"So, as I said, we were going to collect taxes…"

"Allan! Stop being a child and tell me what I want to know!" I was tired of playing games, I just wanted the true story.

"Okay, okay…a group of kids were playing in the forest, and as soon as they saw us they started running like the devil was hot on their heels. And this child caught his foot on a tree root and fell hard on his leg. He started screaming at the top of his lungs, and Guy sent all of the guards on to the village while he got down and started talking to this kid." Allan shook his head, clearly bemused by what had happened. "Marian, if someone had told me Giz could be that kind and gentle I never would have believed it. But I saw it with my own eyes."

"Continue, Allan. Please."

"When he saw how bad the boy was hurt, he asked me to go fetch the physician, but I had to throw up first. Really, Marian, all that blood and the bone sticking out like that…"

"Allan!" I said loudly, trying to fight the nausea that gripped me again at his description.

"Okay, but you asked me to explain…"

"Oh for the love of…" I snapped, almost losing the fight with my own stomach, and I turned my back to him and swallowed down the wave of nausea. Allan thought I was annoyed with him this time and, being the good man that he was, he tried to ease the situation.

"Sorry, Maz. The boy was fighting tears, telling Giz that his father would beat him for being caught by the guards and because he tore up his pants, and Guy got mad. He asked the boy if his father beat him often, and the kid shrugged but even I understood that he did, and probably on a daily basis, poor kid."

I understood now why Guy had been as harsh with the father as he had, and why he'd kept Matthew in his arms until the physician arrived. I could imagine what he'd whispered in the father's ear and found myself smiling, proud of the way he'd handled the situation. He was still my valiant knight!

"When Giz saw I wasn't fetching the physician already he shouted at me so I took off, but as I left I saw your husband – seems strange to call him that, especially since you're not at the castle anymore…"

I had my back to him but he saw me stiffen at his words, and he quickly ended his tale.

"I saw Giz taking care of the boy, and I knew the kid was in good hands."

"How is he?" I asked quietly.

"Who? Oh, Guy…" Allan said awkwardly. "He's been different since you left. Grumpy as ever, even more sometimes. But he's not as angry…he hasn't even hit me once in two weeks! Good, isn't it?" he said, grinning at me cheekily.

"Of course it's good," I acknowledged.

"He's sad, though," Allan continued, his voice dropping. "He misses you terribly. Sometimes it's almost like…like he's not here. I know he's thinking about you then. Even the Sheriff has noticed it, even if he doesn't understand what's wrong."

"And how is it with the Sheriff? I mean, for Guy?" I pressed, concerned that my absence made things more difficult for him.

"Not going to lie, Marian. It's bad. The Sheriff doesn't like this 'new' Giz. He called him soft, told him that humanity was weakness and he needed to grow a spine," Allan said. "He's decided to 'fix' Guy, and believe me, the way he does it isn't a pretty one."

"Did he have him beaten?" I asked, my nausea coming again but out of fear for my husband's life this time.

"Yes, several times now." He paused and swallowed hard. "Once so bad that Giz couldn't move for almost two days."

I was horrified by the revelation. I hadn't been there to help him. I couldn't have protected him, but at least I would have been able to comfort him…

"Allan! God, who took care of him? Was it long ago?"

"Four days," Allan said. "Most of his bruises have disappeared, but I know he's still suffering a lot even if he tries not to show it."

I couldn't swallow past the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Allan…what can I do to help?"

His answer was simple. "Come back to him, Marian. He needs you."

"I can't…"

"But you care about him, right?" Allan said pointedly.

"Of course I care…probably more than is wise, but…"

"If you can't stay with him, at least find a way to give him a message, to show him you're thinking about him. Don't leave him alone with the Sheriff for too long. He's trying to kill him inside." Allan shook his head, frustrated. "Guy needs you now, Marian. More than he needs air."

"I didn't know you were a poet, Allan," I said with a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes.

"I'm just starting to understand him, Marian. You know, when he was delirious he called your name? I knew he loved you, but I couldn't have imagined how much until that moment."

"He called my name?" I crossed my arms around my body, hugging myself as I tried to restrain my tears. "Did he say anything else?"

Allan sighed. "He begged you to come back to him."

"Oh…Guy…"

My legs buckled at that moment and the only reason I didn't collapse to the ground was Allan's fast reflexes and strong arms. He held me as I broke down and cried.

When I recovered from my outburst Allan left me to return to the guards and I walked back to Matthew's home where Guy was still waiting. When the physician finally came out and told my husband that the boy was out of danger, Guy sighed deeply and looked up at the sky in a mute prayer. I smiled tenderly when Matthew's mother thanked him wholeheartedly, and Guy looked a little flustered. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to hide his emotion, grumbling that he had to go and, before mounting his horse he called over his shoulder, "Don't forget to pay your taxes," in a voice that clearly held no threat. It was a thinly veiled attempt to bid them farewell without showing how moved he was.

I went back to Vivian's garden and tried to focus on the work without noting the sly smile she kept giving me every time I looked at her. Finally I couldn't pretend I didn't see it anymore and I told Vivian I needed to go for a walk. As I mounted Shadow, Vivian teased me.

"Breakfast will be ready when you get back. You need to make sure you eat well, and not just because of the baby…"

I pushed my mare to go faster, cheeks crimson, the good-natured laughter of my friend following me.

I arrived at the castle after dark and tied Shadow to a tree outside of the ramparts. I climbed them and made my way to Guy's chamber, and before entering the room I took a deep breath, trying to be as quiet as possible as I opened the door.

Guy was not sleeping, or I wasn't as quiet as I thought I was because as soon as I'd closed the door behind me a strong hand gripped my arm and dragged me farther into the room, catching me when I stumbled and spinning me around to face him, a blade cold and hard against my neck.

Surprised, I let out a tiny whimper and suddenly Guy released me. His voice was an incredulous whisper.

"Marian?"


	11. Chapter 11

Guy was not sleeping, or I wasn't as quiet as I thought I was because as soon as I'd closed the door behind me a strong hand gripped my arm and dragged me farther into the room, catching me when I stumbled and spinning me around to face him, a blade cold and hard against my neck.

Surprised, I let out a tiny whimper and suddenly Guy released me. His voice was an incredulous whisper.

"Marian?"

I couldn't answer because as suddenly as I had been pulled into the room, I was crushed against his strong chest, wrapped in his muscular arms. I could barely breathe but I felt so safe in the shelter of his body that I never considered pulling away.

"You came back," he said, his voice gruff with emotion.

It felt as if he was shaking against me, and then I couldn't think anymore because his lips captured mine and he kissed me so fiercely and so passionately that I couldn't restrain the moan of pure pleasure that escaped me. When he heard it the trembling of his body increased and he deepened the kiss, his tongue searching my mouth as if to commit every inch of me to memory, remembering everything he could feel in it.

I didn't realize we had moved until I felt the wall pressing against my back. As I let out a quiet sound of surprise, Guy pinned me with his body and my soft moan was echoed by him, driven as we both were by a wave of pure passion. He wanted me, I could feel it not only in the way his hands roamed over my body, but also by how hard he was pressed against my stomach.

Amazed that simply kissing me could make him want me so much, I was filled with passion, more than I could ever hope to feel for him. One of my hands slid up to play with his soft hair while the other stroked his back, slipping down to his backside, but as soon as I touched him Guy abruptly pulled away from me, panting, his pupils dilated by the depth of his desire. I could see sweat glistening on his forehead.

My husband had never seemed so desirable before, and I couldn't resist the longing for him that burned so deeply and ardently within me; so I reached for him again, pressing my body against him, smiling when I heard the groan he couldn't restrain. But then he gripped my arms and pushed me away from him.

"Marian, not now!" His voice was husky and much deeper than usual, and I tried again to take him in my arms. But Guy was much stronger than me and, even though he was careful not to hurt me, he held me tight, closing his eyes and whispering, "Marian…please."

"Why?" I asked in frustration, giving in to his request for the moment.

"I need to know…" he hesitated.

Guy's behavior changed, transforming from the passionate man who was so ready to make love to me, becoming the awkward, shy Guy I had known not so long ago before our wedding.

"Know what, Guy?" I encouraged him.

"Why have you returned?"

Disconcerted by his question, I said, "Do you want me to leave?"

"Of course not, Marian!"

My husband tried to comfort me, releasing my arms and stroking my cheek gently while his other hand circled my waist, bringing me back to him in a subtle move.

"But…you're here now. Does that mean you've returned…for good?"

His last two words were said so low that I wasn't sure I'd really even heard them. He reminded me now of the way he'd been before, when he'd asked me something very important to him and had been torn between the hope that I would accept and the fear that I would refuse. I had been moved by it before, and now it was the same because I knew I would be inflicting the same pain as I had then.

How could I be so cruel to him?

But some decisions still needed to be made, some actions needed to be taken before I could come back to him to stay. If I decided to stay, I added inwardly, not yet ready to admit to myself what I already knew deep inside.

"No," I whispered, not daring to look at him. But I heard how sharply he breathed in as he released me, stepping away from me, and I could imagine how his jaw must have hardened at my reply.

"So…why are you here then, Marian?" Gone was the passion and the desire, and all that remained was the stern voice of the Sheriff's henchman. I couldn't suppress a shiver as the realization hit me.

"Guy…" I wanted so much to be able to tell him how much I had missed him, how much I wanted to be with him, how anxious I had been when Allan told me about him being beaten by the Sheriff. But I couldn't add anything as Guy turned to me, an accusing finger pointing at me.

"Don't 'Guy' me, Marian. Answer my question! It's not so difficult, is it?"

My anger rose to match his. I was here to be loved by him, not accused.

"Are you here to spy on me again, Marian? Are you here to use me and give information to Hood?"

His accusation took my breath away, and I couldn't restrain myself anymore. I drew back my hand to slap him, desperate to make him take back the hurtful words, but I wasn't fast enough. Guy caught my arm before I could touch him and twisted it around so it was behind my back, his grip strong on my wrist making me whimper softly. I let out a frustrated cry and started to hit his chest with my free hand, until he caught that as well and subjected it to the same treatment as the first.

He pushed me against the wall, one of his hands holding both of my wrists behind my back, pressing his hard body against mine while his other hand came to rest at my neck. I couldn't help but think about how different this was than the first time I'd ended up against this wall tonight – once with desire and passion, once with so much anger…and passion, but of a different sort.

That was it! Even if I was mad at him for his false supposition, feeling his strong body pressing so tight against mine, my arms captured by his hand and those long fingers on my neck made me want him more than ever. I was not afraid that he would actually hurt me, because his grip on my neck was gentle – it was only to keep me still, to make sure I couldn't look away from him even if the thought crossed my mind. I wanted more than anything else to be close to him – even my previous desire to make him pay for his cruel words faded in comparison to what his close proximity made me feel.

We stayed like that for several seconds but it felt like an eternity for me; an eternity that was a kind of bliss as I was close enough to see every detail of my husband's handsome face and all of the tiny expressions that showed exactly what he was thinking.

When I didn't answer him or fight back, he narrowed his eyes a little and unconsciously leaned a little closer to me, brushing his body against mine. We both groaned softly at the touch and I locked my eyes on his, seeing the way his widened and darkened with desire. I bit my bottom lip, making him lick his in response.

"Marian," he growled, his hand sliding from my neck down to my chest, his fingers resting on my cleavage.

I took a deep breath, trying to focus on all of the sensations he was awakening in me, fighting to keep my eyes open when all they wanted to do was close in bliss.

"I'm not spying on you," I said in a voice that I hoped would be firm, but to my utter shame only sounded thick with desire. "I promised to be faithful when we wed, remember?"

Guy sighed, his face leaning closer to mine while his fingers dipped into the cleft between my breasts, the warmth of his skin against mine beneath the fabric of my dress made me shiver, and I felt it echo through his body as well.

"I'm not here for Robin, or to fulfill any mission or purpose," I continued, wanting to diffuse the anger and fan the flames of sensual tension that was growing as each second passed.

Guy was so close to me now that he almost brushed his lips with mine when he asked, "So why are you here, Marian? Tell me the truth…now!"

I'd heard this tone before. Once on the day I followed him through the village and he caught me – he'd wanted to impress me and threaten me with his deep, low voice. But it never worked before, and today it worked even less because I knew now that he would never hurt me. His anger would never succeed with me, but his charm always would.

I was afraid to tell the truth, afraid to irritate him, afraid he thought I wanted to use him – well, this supposition was right at least, though not for the reason he would think – and I was afraid that he would push me away, that I would shock him with the desire that was unsuitable for a lady to feel. Finally, I saw something new in his eyes, something that almost pleaded with me to answer him, and I couldn't stop myself from replying honestly.

"I…I missed you, Guy," I said, and when he snorted in disbelief I pressed on. "I did! Allan told me about what the Sheriff had done to you, and I wanted to see how you were."

"So you came back out of pity?" He sounded more annoyed than angry now.

"Not pity, Guy," I assured him. He didn't look me in the eye then, so I found it easier to tell him the rest. "I was scared, worried about you. I wanted to make sure that you were alright."

He met my gaze then, his eyes burning into mine.

"And I saw how you took care of the boy in Clun…" I paused when he gave me a startled look. "You were so kind and considerate with him, I was amazed…and proud."

"I'm not always rough," he growled.

"I've been discovering that little by little, and it's something I love about you, Guy."

My voice was soft and I smiled as he searched my face, finally meeting my gaze once more. He swallowed and gave me a shy smile. "Really?"

"Really," I nodded, and the hint of a smile broadened. I couldn't restrain myself anymore so I rose up on tiptoe and tried to kiss him. It wasn't easy, as he still held my hands behind my back and I was still pinned to the wall by his body, but I succeeded at last.

As soon as my lips touched his, he moved his hand back up to my neck, sliding it around to pull me as close as he could while he deepened the kiss, making both of us groan softly – him with pleasure, me with surprise.

I wanted nothing more than to touch him, to caress him, and I wanted him to touch me, but with my hands still restrained I couldn't do anything. So while our tongues battled for control, I started to move my hands against his larger one, my body squirming against his.

"Marian," he moaned in my ear when he'd broken the kiss, his lips moving across my cheek and down the side of my neck. I had the feeling I'd be needing the scarf again for a few days, but I didn't care at all. He released my hands which slid instantly around his body.

After a moment that was much too brief, he leaned away from me, took my hand and guided me to the two chairs in front of the fireplace. What was he doing?

He settled me in one chair and sat in the other, and I waited for what was to come.

"Marian, where have you been all this time?" he asked in a cloyingly sweet voice.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Where were you? I was worried about you. I need to know what happened to you since you left here."

Was he serious? Did he really want to talk when all I wanted was for him to take me to bed?

"Are you sure you really want to talk…now?" I asked in an incredulous voice.

"Yes, Marian." When he saw how surprised I was, he added, "I know you will be gone tomorrow before dawn, and I need to know what you were doing or where you were, for my own peace of mind when you leave again."

It was rather sweet of him, but I didn't feel like talking at that moment. So I rose from my chair and started walking toward him slowly, and I could see him swallow hard as I stared at him. When I was near him I put my hand on his chest and let it slide along the fabric of his shirt while my eyes locked with his. When my hand reached his belt my other hand started to follow the same path. I was almost shocked at my own audacity and I absently hoped that the child I was sure I was carrying at this point would be a boy simply so I wouldn't have to worry about a daughter acting as shameless as her mother was at this moment. Nevertheless, there was no force in the world that could stop me from bedding my husband tonight.

Well, no force except possibly my husband himself!

"Marian, no!"

Pushing my hands off of him, he rose and walked past me, trying to stay away from me, turning away so all I could see was his broad back. I was completely lost – did I do something wrong? He had been supportive of my decision to leave in the first place, didn't he want me anymore? Had the one time he'd taken me to his bed been enough for him? It certainly hadn't been for me.

I didn't know what to do or think anymore, and I felt rejected. I finally sat down once more and, gathering what was left of my courage, I asked, "Is this how you're going to punish me for leaving? By refusing to be close to me?"

"Punish you?" Guy said, turning around to look at me. He seemed genuinely surprised. "Marian, if I can swear one thing to you, it's that I will never use our bed or our lovemaking as a punishment against you." He walked over to me, taking my hand and drawing me up to face him before lowering his head to mine, looking me straight in the eye. "In the same way that I will never allow you to use our bed or our lovemaking to manipulate me."

I swallowed hard when I realized that, again, I had been selfish. I'd come here only to quench my desire for him without considering how he would feel after I left again. I felt guilty and wanted to turn and run away, but he raised my chin and, with eyes full of love (the kind of look I'd always had to fight hard to resist) he added, "What we share here in our bed is precious to me, and I will never tarnish it or allow anyone else to sully it."

I had heard every word he said, and I knew that I would never forget them. But one simple word he'd repeated several times had warmed my body and my heart even as I tried to suppress my feelings.

"Our bed, Guy?" I asked in a shy voice.

"Yes, Marian. This is our bed now and it always will be. It is our place, our shelter, and it is only for you and I, for as long and as often as you'll want to be in it. Every time you are in this bed, no one will ever hurt you. You will always find support, caring, tenderness and…love."

His voice was so low and husky as he admitted this to me that I was certain in that moment that I could trust everything he told me. One look in his eyes and I knew that he had trapped me not with ropes or strength but with his love. I wasn't ready to admit it yet to myself – and certainly not to him – but even if I didn't know when it would happen again I would bet my life that I would share this bed again with him after tonight, willingly and as passionately as we would tonight. And the realization sent shivers through my body – I, the Night Watchman, the girl who was never afraid of anyone or anything, was suddenly terrified by the power this man had over me. My husband had the power of the flesh, a power I couldn't have denied him even if he'd asked me to.

He had awakened sensations in me I knew I would never be able to deny; but I would have to if I wanted to leave again (did I really want to now?) I tried to convince myself that it was only my body that wanted to stay with him, to enjoy being so close to his hard, warm body, to shudder every time he touched me, to burn with every word he said when his breath ghosted over my skin. It was only my body…it wasn't love, it was just lust…yes, that was it! Should I feel guilty for wanting such a man? My husband, the man I would be leaving on the morrow…the man who had fathered the baby I might this very moment be carrying.

I couldn't think anymore because I felt him lean his head to mine, and while his hands started to untie the laces of my gown he whispered in my ear, "I must confess you defeated me tonight…I was lost the instant I saw you."

Taking the shoulders of my dress between his hands, he slid it slowly to the floor, stroking my arms in the process. Then he started to undo my underdress.

"I tried to resist, to be brave, but…"

I didn't want to talk anymore, I just wanted to feel his lips on mine, his hands on my skin, his heart beating with mine. I kissed him deeply as he continued to remove my clothes gently, and when he left me in nothing but my thin, almost transparent shift he started to pull off his shirt, but I put my hands on him to stop him, his gaze lifting to mine.

"Please, let me do this."

He raised one eyebrow at me in question.

"Let me undress you. I want to see you…"

I flushed from head to toe, I was sure, for having admitted to such a shocking desire, but the smile of happiness on my husband's face comforted me. He was happy that I wanted to see him, to touch him, to love him…and so was I.

He let his hands fall to his sides and let me guide him closer to the fireplace. I wanted to see all of him in the firelight, and as I started to pull off his shirt I couldn't suppress the emotion and excitement that surged through my veins. I'd dreamed of this moment since the night at Locksley I had gone to visit him late in the evening, and tonight I could fulfill the longing and frustration I had felt since that night.

As I slid my hands up to remove his shirt I let my fingers and palms glide over his warm skin. I heard the primitive growl he let escape, and I raised my eyes to his face, finding him more handsome and more appealing than ever with his head thrown back, his eyes closed and his lips parted…yes, I made the right choice in coming back tonight.

Now was the time for both of us to enjoy this moment fully…


	12. Chapter 12

I felt secure, safe, warmer than I'd ever felt, and even though something roused me little by little I still clung tightly to those feelings, knowing deep inside that as soon as I opened my eyes I would lose that feeling and I wasn't ready yet.

But finally, I lost the battle and my eyes opened slowly as I identified what had woken me…and I sighed deeply, contented.

I lay on my stomach, my head resting on one of my husband's arms while he was on his back. His fingertips were tracing patterns on the bare skin at the small of my back. It wasn't a movement designed to rouse my desire for him, but simply a sweet caress, like one that someone did lightly while lost in his thoughts. And since his eyes were looking straight at me but he didn't even seem to notice that I'd woken up, I was sure he was far away.

I was afraid to talk for fear of breaking this moment of peace. Could it be possible that all of our lifetime together could be so tender and fulfilling? I certainly could get used to waking up every morning under the soft touch of his warm hands on my bare skin…my body ached to feel them every day.

I must have sighed deeply because suddenly Guy's eyes focused on me, and as soon as he realized I was awake a fond smile appeared on his lips.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," I replied while stretching, feeling his hand move at the same pace as my body to finally rest again on my back. "When did you wake up?"

"Don't know…a while ago, I suppose."

I felt awkward during this little chat, as if there were things unsaid that projected shadows in the room that were ready to fall on us as soon as one wrong word escaped our mouths.

"I need to explain why I acted the way I did when you came last night." Guy's voice was unsure so I smiled at him, encouraging him to continue. "I wanted to talk with you before bedding you because I felt used. I understood that you only came back to my bed, not to me, and I wanted to make you wait."

"I'm so sorry," I started to say, blushing from head to toe at my shameless behavior. My mother would have killed herself if she'd lived and knew how indecently I had acted earlier.

"Don't be, Marian. I finally realized that the most important thing for me is that you came back to me, even if it's only for some…pleasant moments." His lips curved in a sweet smile. "And I quite like the idea that you enjoyed yourself so much that night that you sneaked here just to be with me."

His smug smile at the thought of me liking his performance made my cheeks burn even hotter. I felt so awkward that I couldn't help but hit his chest playfully while scowling at his behavior. He was faster than me, though, and took my hand just after I slapped him, bringing it to his lips and kissing it soundly, making me laugh. Maybe I really could get used to life with him after all, I thought while looking at him, studying his features while he played with my hand, his gaze on the ceiling.

"I was not with Robin," I finally said, wanting to comfort him and smiling when I saw him sigh in relief. "I didn't sleep at his camp – not even one night, I promise you."

"I believe you," he told me in his deep voice.

He didn't ask for more, but I knew him well enough now to know the way he focused all of his attention on my hand indicated that he wanted the whole story. I felt so good in his arms that I didn't want to upset him for even a second, so I added, "I was at Clun. That's why I saw you yesterday afternoon."

"Clun?"

"Yes," I acknowledged. "I was staying with a very kind old woman named Vivian." As I talked I watched Guy's face intensely, searching for any piece of information I could collect, but he gave away nothing. So I added, "You never told me you grew up at Locksley."

Instantly my husband stilled his hand, his grasp on mine tightening painfully. He didn't look at me but I saw his chest rise and fall faster and his voice was a little huskier, with just a touch of panic as he asked, "How do you know that? Who told you?"

"Oh, didn't I mention that Vivian was an employee at your home when you live here in Locksley?" I tried to be casual but the tension I felt in my husband's body started to transfer to mine.

"It's impossible. She would have to be at least eighty!"

"Yes, she is," I agreed.

"What did she tell you about me?" he pressed.

"Nothing," I said firmly, trying to fight the fear increasing in my heart at Guy's reaction. Why was he so afraid I met someone from his past?

Guy sat up abruptly on the bed, pushing me in the process to free his arm which was still under my head. "Marian, I'm not kidding. What did she tell you about me and my family?"

There again, I had lost my tender lover, leaving in his place the stern man with the voice of steel. The change gave me shivers – and not of pleasure, but of deep discomfort. What could Guy have to hide so fiercely about his past?

When I didn't answer fast enough for his taste, my husband took my shoulders between his strong hands and shook me. "What did she say?" he was practically shouting at me now.

"Nothing!" I replied in the same tone. "Nothing else. She said that it was your story to tell."

When he relaxed a little, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes as he sighed, I added in a bitter tone, " she also told me how pretty and kind you were as a boy. But apparently that's not accurate any longer."

My voice was so resentful that Guy released his hold on me, ashamed of his disproportionate reaction.

"Why didn't you tell me you lived here all those years? You knew Robin at the time, didn't you?"

I could have kicked myself once the words escaped my lips, as Guy clenched his jaw and scowled at me.

"So that's it! You're not interested in me, my lady, but only wish to know more of your precious Robin's childhood. I'm sorry to disappoint you my love, but I will not answer you because I don't want to talk about him. Besides, I would not want to hurt your pretty ears by revealing that your hero is not the saint you believe him to be."

His behavior was so childish, his jealousy so deep and bitter that I couldn't bear it anymore, so I screamed wordlessly at him through clenched teeth. As the coverlet on the bed had been pulled off of the bed during our lovemaking, I took it and used it to hide myself, draping my body in it, leaving the bed abruptly to collect my discarded clothes on the ground.

Guy looked at me incredulously. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm leaving! If we can't talk without you behaving like a child, I prefer to go home and get some sleep."

Guy jumped out of the bed, not at all bothered by his completely naked condition, and grabbed me by the arm. "Your home is here! With me!"

"No!" I answered, pulling my arm free of his grip. "Not when you behave like that!"

"You are my wife, Marian. Once and for all burn that notion hiding in that brain of yours. I am your husband. No one else! And your place is here with me."

"What if I don't want to stay?" I lifted my chin, ready to stand up for my freedom.

"Then I will compel you to do so," he replied, pinning me against his strong body, his eyes dark as a threatening storm, all of his body radiating the heat of his anger, threatening to suffocate me.

"You would hold me captive? That's what you're saying?"

"Yes, exactly." His face was inches from mine, his eyes locked with mine, his anger, despair and pain running from his body to mine. "If I had to."

"Then I will loathe you until the end of time."

Guy and I were both shocked by the venom of my words. How could I have said that while some moments before I had whispered his name so passionately? How could I even imagine hating him now that I was so sure I was carrying his child? When he had been nothing but kind and patient with me since our wedding?

I knew deep inside that his threat was only words said out of his fear of losing me. He would never do that to me, but my words felt so true. I knew that if one day he acted this way, I could only loathe him because I would have forever lost my Guy and he would stay the servant of his devilish master. But Guy wasn't this man yet and I would do all I could to help him fight this influence. I wanted him to stay the man I had grown to know, the real Guy. He wasn't lost to me yet, the look of hurt and despair on his face proved it more than words ever could.

He let go of me, stepped back and turned on his heel to walk over to the fireplace where he leaned his forehead against the mantelpiece, his hands holding onto it as if an anchor in a terrible storm.

"Guy," I whispered quietly.

"Forgive me, Marian."

His broken voice moved me deeply and I couldn't restrain myself, walking next to him but staying out of reach.

"I will never force you to stay if you don't wish to."

"I know."

"You are free to leave if you want, even if I want you to stay."

"I know."

"I'm just afraid that one day you will decide never to come back."

"…I know."

"Will you do that one day? Leave me at dawn and never return to me again?"

He turned his anguished face to me and I realized then that I was only a few inches from his shoulder; while we talked I had unconsciously drawn closer to him as if he attracted me like a magnet. I looked in his eyes, so full of sorrow, and swallowed hard.

"I don't know, Guy. I really don't know."

He sighed deeply and turned his eyes to the fire, lost in his despair.

"It would depend…" I said, pausing for a moment.

"Depend on what?" Guy asked, his eyes again on me, hope visible in the clear blue depths.

"On the way you act," I finished, and he frowned. It was my turn to sigh before pointing out all of the reasons I couldn't stay for now. "Guy, I need to know you. I mean, who you really are and who you really were, what you have been through…why you didn't tell me about you living at Locksley…"

"But you do know me, Marian. You know who I am, you know how I feel about you…"

"Not really, Guy. Yes, I know what you feel for me, but I hardly know you – the real you, the man without the Sheriff's influence. Why don't you free yourself of this madman?"

Guy scowled at me, shaking his head as if denying what I'd just said. "I don't want to talk about my past or my relationship with the Sheriff with you, Marian."

"But why, Guy? It's important. It could help me to understand you…"

"Don't argue with me, Marian," Guy said, leaving his place by the fire to pace the room. "I will not talk about it with you."

"Guy, you need to open up one day, and who could you better do that with than your wife?"

"My wife?" he laughed bitterly in a way that made my teeth clenched. "Oh Marian, I wish I could do that, I wish I could believe in you enough to tell you everything."

"Why don't you?" I asked.

"Because you want to leave me!" He roared as he turned to me. "How can I open up to you and tell you everything when you only want to leave me?"

"I don't want to leave you, Guy," I said wholeheartedly, stilling him in surprise. "I mean…I could stay with you if you were the same person outside that I know you are inside…"

As I tried to catch up my words, I saw him leaning his head back, his eyes down, his chest rising and falling faster revealing how anxious he was.

"I want you to be free of that negative influence, Guy. I want you to be free. If I stay with you, I need to be your wife not only in your bed…" Guy's lips twitched up in a lopsided smile at the thought, but I ignored it and kept talking. "But on a daily basis. I need to be by your side, to be with you no matter what the circumstance."

"That's exactly what I want you to do, Marian. I need you with me every day, truly," Guy's voice was so passionate that I was ready to give up this conversation and lose myself in his arms, but I needed everything to be settled.

"It's not just being by your side, Guy. It's agreeing with your decisions, too. A woman has to support her husband in his decisions, and I couldn't do that if you continue to be so blindly obedient to the Sheriff's orders."

"You would prefer me to be like your precious Robin, then? Besotted as he is with the King?"

"Firstly, Robin is not 'mine'!" I shouted, irritated that Guy's jealousy revealed itself every time we were arguing and he felt insecure. "If anyone could be called 'mine' it's you!"

As soon as I'd said that, Guy's eyes sparkled with joy and passion and he pulled me against his body, his lips ready to kiss me and his body ready to do something more. " _Not now!"_ I chastised my own traitorous body, which made me ache instantly for need of him.

"And secondly," I continued, trying to steady my voice but failing miserably as it quivered with desire, making me angry with myself for not being able to argue with him once I was close to him. "I don't want you to be like him. You're not him and you never will be…"

His grip tightened on me and I hurried to ease his mind.

"I don't want you to be like him. I want you to be…you, Guy. I want you to be the real man you are," I said. " _Please, please stop being so adorable or I'll never be able to say all I have to say to you_ ", I thought to myself when I saw how moved he was by my words. "Not the Sheriff's puppet."

Guy released me and stepped away, turning his back to me. I hated hurting him, I'd already done that enough, so I didn't restrain my instinct to follow him and this time I slid one of my arms around his waist. I shuddered with him, closing the gap between us and leaning my head and chest against his bare back.

"I want you to be the amazing knight and noble man you were when Nottingham was besieged. I want you to be the brave man who was ready to give his life to defend us all, the man who was ready to protect this city against danger, the man who made me so proud to be called his wife!"

Before I realized it, Guy had turned in my arms and had locked his wide eyes on mine, his face revealing his disbelief but also his deep desire to believe me.

"Really? You were proud to be my wife?"

I was so moved by his frank desire to please me and make me proud of him that I smiled and added tenderly, "Yes, that's why I agreed to marry you, not out of pity as you thought. You had shown me the man you could be if you were free of Vaisey."

"And you could be proud of this man?" he asked quietly.

"I already was, so yes, I could be again."

"And you might be able to…love this man…I mean, really love him?" He could be so insecure sometimes, his words were spoken shyly, so different from when he played the role of the Sheriff's henchman.

"In time, perhaps," I said, but when I saw the dark veil cover his shining eyes the pang I felt in my heart made me tell him passionately, "Yes, of course I could!"

The way he clung to my body made me regret saying it. What if I had inadvertently lied to him? What if he did everything I asked but I found I couldn't really love him after all, not the way he wanted me to love him? But I couldn't think anymore because he leaned into me and took possession of my lips for a moment before breaking the kiss and looking down at me.

"Marian, I know you are angry with me because of the Sheriff, and I know you will be gone in the morning, but for now, you're here with me."

His eyes and voice were pleading, his hands on my body coaxing me little by little as he stroked my skin, slowly lowering the blanket I had wrapped my body in.

"Please, let's put aside our quarrel. We will have plenty of time to think about things when you're away." His voice began to mesmerize me as he started to nip and lick at the skin of my neck. "For now just be with me. I need you more than I can say. I want you again before you leave."

His words and ministrations made me moan and he chuckled softly.

"And by the sounds I'm hearing, you want me too."

His smug behavior annoyed me to no end, but what bothered me more was how right he was. As he tightened his grip on my body, I felt the warmth and strength of his and I couldn't resist anymore. As he started to talk again I slid my hand up to the back of his neck and pulled him down to me, crushing my lips to his and making him groan deeply.

Well, he was right – in a few hours I would be gone and would have all the time in the world to be upset with him. Now there was something more important and enjoyable to do. As I let the blanket fall to the ground I heard him whisper with that smug lopsided grin, "I knew it…"

"Shut up and kiss me," I said in an irritated voice, rewarded by one of his rare genuine laughs that I cut short by kissing him deeply.

That night one thing happened that changed my vision of our relationship forever.

I always knew Guy's attachment to me was deeper than I could even imagine. And it had always frightened me a little. But that night…

After our fight and Guy's desperate request that we lie together before I left again, as usual it was incredibly passionate. Only this time something was different, I could feel it in every fiber of my body even if I couldn't put a name to what had changed.

At one point while I was lost in the indescribable feelings only he could give me, I felt him change, felt his touch become different, his hands on my skin more loving and caressing than passionate, his lovemaking bringing out new emotions in me. In the way he loved me, he showed me his total commitment and his devotion to me, overwhelming me with the sensations he was making me feel. It was as if I could never be closer to anyone else than in this moment and tears came to my eyes, tears of pure joy to be so blessed, to be loved so deeply.

I thought I could never feel anything more intensely than that, until Guy whispered in my ear in the softest, deepest voice he'd ever used with me.

"Marian, look at me."

I felt so lost then, I couldn't do it, I didn't dare show him my tears and I was afraid to discover why he was so different.

"Marian…look at me," he requested again, so earnest, so full of hope that I couldn't resist one more second. How wrong I was to obey…

As soon as I saw his face I regretted it, because I knew I could never forget my husband's features in that magical moment. His face was open and honest as it had never been before, showing me clearly the depth of his feelings. His hair was disheveled, damp locks clinging to his forehead, his eyes burning with love and sparkling with unshed tears…tears? Why was he crying? Could it be he felt the same thing as me? I was so confused. His lips were half-opened and swollen red by our passionate kisses. I never thought him so attractive, so desirable, but also so vulnerable. I was certain he'd never allowed anyone to discover his inner side before, and I felt honored to have been chosen to witness it, for it was the most moving thing I ever saw.

As soon as our eyes locked, a shiver ran through our entwined bodies, increasing my desire for him to make me feel whole and happy as I had always felt after our lovemaking.

But he didn't increase the pace – to the contrary, he slowed it and tightened his hold on me, he let me see in his eyes the way he saw me. It was far too intense for me so I broke his stare and turned my head to the side. But he whispered again, pleading, "Marian, look at me…please?"

I couldn't resist anymore and, swallowing hard before I locked eyes with him again I was rewarded by one of his brightest, most secret smiles…the ones he saved only for me, burning my heart. But it disappeared soon and his face grew solemn, even though the tenderness remained as he murmured the words I realized I'd craved from him all along.

"I love you, Marian. I love you so much."

He was honest, so true, his feelings for me were so pure that it helped me admit what I had feared the most even though I always knew: I was deeply and irreversibly in love with this man.

I was here, lost in his arms, not for lust but for love.

The realization was so deep and strong that I couldn't suppress a sob, and as I stroked his cheek I whispered, "I know."

Guy's fond, lopsided smile appeared again and it was such a happy and loving smile that I couldn't help but smile back at him through my tears, and in the impulse of the moment I raised my head to catch his lips, showing him through the kiss how moved I was. As soon as we ended the kiss, breathless, his hand moved to my cheek, drying my tears and stroking my skin slowly and tenderly as he had so often before. I closed my eyes for an instant to feel the sensation but I heard his sigh and opened them instantly, not wanting to end this special moment.

Until the instant when we both whispered each other's name in ecstasy, our eyes were locked and Guy had raised my arms up above my head and entwined his fingers with mine.

I would never forget that night, the night that I realized that I could never live without this man, the one I had once been so certain that I would hate until my last breath.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your kudos and for your kind and warm review, Gisborne_sGirl. It's so great knowing how this story means to my readers!
> 
> I really want to thank wholeheartedly a great friend of mine, Sahraobsessed, who so kindly assumed the role of Beta-reader for some chapters since this one as my sweet Brokenheirloom is actually unable to do it. Please, pray for her to feel better soon because I miss her dearly and it's really difficult for me to work on this story without her as we started it together.

Like the first night they shared together, Guy awoke to an empty bed. This time the sheets where Marian had been were still warm - proof she didn't leave long before. He couldn't help but scowl at himself for not hearing her leave. How could this be? He never slept soundly or deeply but since she started sharing his bed, it was as if she was a balm to his heart. He finally found his rest, waking fresh and new for the first time since the death of his parents. Well... the short time they spent actually sleeping, he thought smiling. Being so close to Marian was really the best way to prevent him from sleeping at all. Nevertheless, she had her way to expend him so that he couldn't stay awake. She had left him in their bed for a second time. He was angry with himself because he would give anything to have awakened first, to watch her sleep...

Of course, at some point that night he was awake while she slept but his mind was too far away to enjoy this rare moment of happiness and peace. That was really how he felt when she let him behave like a husband. He felt whole for the first time, happy and at peace, as if all his inner demons had decided to leave him. When she gave him permission to love her, his demons shut down, trapped in a deep place where only their shadows remained and, for once, those feelings were bearable...

But he was alone again as soon as she left him. His demons were free to torment him with a vengeance until he just wanted to scream, to plead to be spared his living hell. He desired only running after his wife, his pure angel, begging her to save him with all the love she held in her heart. The same love he swore he saw in her eyes when they made love before falling into a peaceful sleep. When she whispered his name so passionately, he thought he could read her feelings in her eyes. So full of passion, longing, and desire, not lusty desire, but a craving for something one would die without having it. It was as if she felt what he experienced every day since he met her...like he was back in the desert, craving for water, throat parched with thirst, seeing an oasis with promised water with the knowledge even a drop of it is forbidden...

Could Marian really love him already? She had come back to him and for more than sharing a moment of lust. He was sure of this but his mind couldn't really accept it. He thought he saw it when he told her his true feelings; when he let the words he wanted so much to reveal to her escape him, words he never had ever said before. Her eyes were shinning with tears. Her face was so bright, so open, so moved than he knew she believed him. Even when she whispered " _I know_ ", he couldn't help but smile of happiness and pride because he knew how deeply he had touched her. How strongly he had tethered them both together. God, she really was his life! How could he breathe when she was not with him?

Guy was roughly jerked to reality as Allan knocked at the door and opened it without waiting. He really should explain to that little rascal that he needed to wait before entering or what was the point of knocking? Besides, Guy needed him to wait because he couldn't afford to have Allan entering in the room if Marian was still asleep one morning. He told himself " _stop dreaming, the blade is already too deep in your heart, don't twist it anymore_ ".

"Did I tell you to come in, Allan?" Guy scowled sharply.

"Aye... seems you had a good night, Gizz... Not kidding, but I'm not sure I'll stay around today if you're already in that mood."

"Allan!"

"Alright, alright..." the younger man raised his hands as if in surrender before jumping on the desk to sit while his master started to prepare himself for the day.

Usually Allan knew better than to stare at his master because Guy hated having his every move watched, but today was different. Even if Guy's mood was grumpy - not unusual after all - there was something more to his behavior, something different than caught Allan's attention and ignited his curiosity.

The squire couldn't put his hand on the matter but something seemed new... as if a great change took place in his master's manner even if Guy hadn't realized it. Guy seemed distracted, as if day-dreaming, almost pleased. Allan shook his head. Contentment and Guy weren't two words he put easily into the same sentence, particularly in a positive way. Something had changed.

Guy tried to ignore the inquisitive looks from Allan since the younger man entered the room but his squire's behavior grated on his nerves too much.

"What?" he finally snapped making Allan jumping in surprise. "Why do you stare at me like that?"

"I don't know, Gizz..." started the young man hesitantly.

"Something seems amiss but I can't understand what it is."

 _Good_... gratefully thought Guy. He knew it would be an insufferable thing for his squire to guess his master had experienced the best night of his whole life the previous night. Guy would not have to put up with Allan's stupid jokes and innuendos. The Master-At-Arms was too touchy to bear it today... he wanted nothing more than to rethink last night and the wonderful time he had bedding his beautiful, irresistible wife. Having his warm and sensual memories being changed to the subject of jest wasn't something he could envision easily.

"Did something happen yesterday?" asked his squire in a searching tone.

"Don't know what you are talking about..." grumbled Guy, his breath catching in his throat and his eyes becoming wide as he saw only a few inches of Allan's hand the little leather ribbon Marian used to tie her hair when dressed as the Nightwatchman. She must have forgotten it when she left in a hurry this morning.

Guy knew he needed to grab the leather ribbon before Allan saw it or he would never hear the end of it. This ribbon was too feminine to be Guy's, plus his hair was too short to require one. A lady's ribbon in his chamber could start Allan's spiraling imagination and since his squire knew Marian was his only love; it would not be hard for him to guess what had transpired last night. Oh God! Guy wanted those stolen moments between he and his wife to be only for them, at least until he succeed in making her stay forever with him.

" _I want you to be the amazing knight and noble man you were when Nottingham was besieged. I want you to be the brave man who was ready to give his life to defend us all, the man who was ready to protect this city against danger, the man who made me so proud to be called his wife!_ "

Guy's eyes shut tightly as he recalled the wonderful words she had told him yesterday. Never before did she say something as glorious and full of awe about him. At that moment he thought he could die of happiness, having succeeded to touch her heart and prove to her he wasn't simply a mere man, the "Sheriff's puppet" but a man which could deserve her admiration and her love.

His whole body felt a warm wave of love and excitation running through it as he recalled the look of earnest tenderness in her eyes when she said those prideful words about him! All his life, at least since his parents' death, Guy had been underestimated, bullied, mocked, humiliated, and treated as a simple man, next to nothing. Vaisey always repeated to him how stupid he was, unworthy of the chance the Sheriff gave him. Of course Gisborne knew a lot of his ill treatment came from his reluctance to give into his Master's mad desires. The fact he couldn't sometimes get through the remainder of his conscience to oblige some of the Sheriff's plans. Reasons why he suspected Vaisey didn't explain everything he planned to his henchman, thinking him too weak to obey him blindly, the thing Marian obviously ignored by her way of judging her husband's actions, thought Guy with a little smirk.

Nobody since his youth had ever believed in him or uttered such beautiful and proud words about him. It was as if Marian's words had healed, or at least eased, some of his deeper wounds. By her words and honest gaze she had free him of a curse he thought he would have to carry upon his shoulders 'til the end of his days: the certainty of being not worthy to be liked, even less loved because he was a murderer... he had murdered his parents, given his sister to a monster and sold his own soul to a man who was certainly close to being the Devil's twin.

Nevertheless, she had said such incredible things last night that his body and his heart were elated at recalling the pride and joy he felt hearing her say " _I want you to be…you, Guy. I want you to be the real man you are._ "

"Guy?" Allan's uncertain voice caught Guy's ears, ending his daydreaming and putting him back in realty again. His eyes focused again on the little leather thong on his desk next to his squire's hand. "Guy, are you alright?"

"Of course I am" scowled his master as he rushed to his desk to grab the ribbon as quickly as possible. Allan jumped in surprise, putting up a defensive arm in front of his head as if he feared Gisborne's approach was only to beat him.

But nothing happened and the squire couldn't help but wonder what had possessed his master to run to the desk and leave it as quickly if it wasn't to beat him... Guy's behavior was more and more inexplicable and Allan wasn't sure he liked this because he couldn't understand it.

In the meantime, Guy seemed unaware of Allan's troubling thoughts; his back to the younger man, he reveled in the scent of the leather thong, remembering so much of Marian's fragrance, a sweet cinnamon scent and something else... something that smelled only as Marian could... spicy and sweet as her skin... God, his mouth watered with only the scent of this ribbon and he didn't even know when he would see her again... all his body started to ache at the thought of having to wait for her again.

He knew he would have to wait for as long as she needed to be sure he would be himself for real. She had been clear with the terms of her "surrender" to him. to be his real wife for life.

" _A woman has to support her husband in his decisions, and I couldn't do that if you continue to be so blindly obedient to the Sheriff's orders._ "

Guy knew perfectly what he had to do and, even if he feared the consequences of his decision, he had long acknowledged someday he probably would die at either the Sheriff's own hands or those of a rival favorite. But for his beloved trapped sister and for the only woman he had ever loved, whom the Sheriff always saw as a threat as she was able to make his heart feel, he couldn't delay his actions any longer. It was time to act.

Slowly stroking the leather ribbon against his lips and closing his eyes to inhale his wife's scent one last time, he put the little thong under his shirt, next to his heart, breathed deeply and sighed deeply before turning to a dumbfounded Allan.

"Are you ready?" he asked with his usual gruff voice. "The Sheriff awaits me."

Allan didn't move. His eyes narrowed, trying to decipher his master's surprising behavior.

"Allan! Do I have to kick your ass to make you move?"

"No, no, Gizz. Calm down..." answered the young squire as he jumped off the desk to open the door for his master. More than certain something was amiss, he needed to put his finger on why Gisborne was acting so strangely because not understanding a situation, particularly when he was in the middle of it, disturbed Allan.

Guy took long steps down the corridor, wanting nothing more than being done with the difficult conversation he was about have with the Sheriff. At his master's door, Guy turned to Allan and ordered him to stay outside. His squire tried to argue, but the decisive stare he received as an answer made him rethink his behavior and agree with his orders.

Gisborne braced himself, closing and unclosing his fists several times and steadied his breath before opening the door. His face was as blank as it always was in presence of the Sheriff. Allan watched his master enter the viper's pit; truly snake was the description to use about this vicious man. Allan was certain now that something was different today. Even if he didn't know what, he just hoped Gizz wouldn't do something stupid and he had to pay for the consequences...

After all the Master-at-Arms wasn't as bad and cruel as Allan first thought he would be. He even started to like Guy with all his scowling and his moods, perhaps because he felt that there was something more to him than the mask he showed to the world. He had seen Marian's eyes full of awe on their wedding day during Nottingham's siege. He had seen them kissing each other senseless, as if they were really lost in their passion. He was now sure that, even if the Lady couldn't currently admit it, she was truly and utterly in love with his dark master.

Concerning Gisborne, he could only laugh a little with indulgence at his master's behavior in front of his new bride. Unaware of her feelings for Guy, the man was lost in his desperate love for her. When he was near Marian, Guy was like a puppy; looking at her with begging eyes to receive a mere look, ready to die of happiness if even her dress touched him. Allan shook his head in disbelief; if loving someone could make one such a fool, he was more than happy to not catch such folly. He promised himself than he would do as much he could to assist his lovesick master and his loving Lady wife to be reunited. He clearly saw the anguish she felt when she learned of Guy's beating. He hoped she would finally come to her senses and return to her husband yesterday. Allan felt really disappointed when he didn't see her in his master's room this morning... but no matter how long it would be and how many times he would have to shake Marian to make her come to her senses, he would do his best to reunite them.

His master had already been through too many things. He heard rumors in the castle about his past and childhood. Mostly he heard the terrible nightmares Guy had sometimes; making him scream from the depth of his lungs, his eyes wide with fear and hurt... Allan woke him several times during those terrible moments. He had been struck by the weakness of his master afterward; how shaken he was, his eyes losing focus and his fists clenching the sheets so tightly that they turned white. Allan had troubles swallowing at time how disturbing it was to see his powerful and frightening master being reduced to a terrified boy, seeking for love and reassurance. The younger man had swear to himself that he would never allow anyone else but himself - or perhaps Marian, if she finally proved worthy - to see his master this way. It would be the end of him, particularly if the Sheriff knew of it.

Allan would protect his master when he was the most vulnerable because he knew that Guy had already protected his squire several times. But more than that, he would do it simply because he felt a real attachment to the older man, as if he could be an elder brother of his... a grumpy, moody, sometimes bully, but surely an elder brother anyway.

Allan had no one else in his life; no relative, no family. Those who he had called his friends, Robin and the Gang, didn't even look at him without loathing, even if he had at first served Guy without wanting to; only to save his own life after being tortured. The only person who seemed to care about him a tiny bit, who simply tolerated him without judging him or asking him to change, was Guy.

To be honest, Guy never asked him to change, but Gisborne beat him in the hopes it would help the young squire to come to his senses. Seeing no improvement, Guy finally let up and now only scowled at Allan's behavior. It was only the squire's own fault if sometimes Allan went too far with his teasing and head-strong behavior, pushing Gisborne beyond patience and making him ready to beat Allan again. Allan had mastered the art of escaping his master's fists however, he thought better than to anger his master, particularly after the siege of Nottingham.

That event had been a real change in Allan A Dale's way of thinking. After the dreadful moment when he thought they would all die, he couldn't help but be filled with awe and pride for his master's behavior. He now saw Gisborne very differently; the older man was really worth serving. Allan was proud to be able to assist a man who had been so brave when he could have left without even a glance behind his shoulders. But what earned Allan's heart was more than that. It was how humble Guy was. Even after saving everyone's life, he never had gloated about his actions, never sought glory and honor as some other people Dale had followed.

For acting without calculating the good he could win in the process and for the kindness he showed sometimes to his rebellious servant, Guy had attached the young squire to his side forever... at least as long as the foolish man could keep his head on his shoulders. By the way his master had entered the Sheriff's office and the odd feeling the squire had that morning, Allan feared it wouldn't be long.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for your kudos and to show me how much you care for this story. It's really important to me! <3
> 
> I want to thank deeply my beta-reader sahraobsessed for all her great work and the way she always find time to help me when I need it even if she is extremely busy!

Guy took long steps down the corridor, wanting nothing more than to be done with the difficult conversation he was about have with the Sheriff. Guy turned to Allan and ordered him to stay outside their master's door. His squire tried to argue, but the decisive stare he received in response made him reconsider his behavior and obey orders.

Gisborne braced himself, clenching his fists several times and steadying his breathing before opening the door. His face was blank, as it always was in presence of the Sheriff.

"Ah, finally, Gisborne!" Vaisey's happy crazed voice welcomed him, making the Master-at-Arms shiver inwardly as he tried not to think at what could possibly be the reason for the Sheriff's joy.

"I was started to wondering if I would have to turn the dogs loose on you."

His head jerked back while laughing.

"My Lord Sheriff seems in the better spirits today." grumbled Guy, trying not to show the awkwardness he felt deep inside.

"Yes, I bet you can say that, Gisborne! " Vaisey said while crashing his clenched fist on his desk.

"I thought I didn't feel well for a while, no thanks to you, of course." he added between his teeth, his mad eyes locked onto the guarded face of his subordinate. "But we will not bother with upsetting things today. I am too relieved and happy to let something bring me down today!"

The Sheriff left his desk and walked through the room as if dancing. Certainly something was amiss. As seconds ticked passed and the sheriff remained silent Gisborne felt less and less at ease. He needed to know what had happened and to play carefully on it if he wanted to obtain what he needed the most: his freedom or at least room to maneuver. Therefore, he tried to sound less dark and asked with an enthusiastic tone "Please my Lord, tell me the reason of your happiness so that I can share it fully as it seems to be wonderful news."

Vaisey laughed again. His silly giggle scratched Guy's nerves every time he heard it.

"It's certainly wonderful news, Gizzy, but I'm not sure you will like it as much as I..."

A sick feeling took possession of his stomach while Gisborne clenched his jaw, silently commanding the snake in front of him to spit out the news. He asked casually, "Please my Lord Sheriff; enlighten me."

"As you wish..." The Sheriff paused and smiled. Evidently the mad man was taking too much pleasure at the situation.

"I received wonderful news this morning, which removes a huge thorn from my side."

He finally stopped his crazy dance to look directly into Guy's eyes.

"You recall why I was so angry about Lord Edgar Carrington, don't you?"

Of course, Gisborne remembered him. Carrington was one of the men who reluctantly signed the Black Treaty to put aside King Richard. The same Black Treaty Robin Hood stole, making Guy's life more wretched than before. Of course, the Master-at-Arms was not likely to forget him.

"You do remember! I can see by your expression." chuckled Vaisey unmerciful.

He approached the strong and amazingly built dark knight seductively – well, as seductively as a short and bald mad man with a missing tooth can be.

"This story almost cost you your head, Gizzy. You are so lucky I care and need you so much, or you would not be here today."

Gisborne braced himself and closed his eyes to bear Vaisey's innuendos. More than ever, he wanted to be free from this man. He wanted to escape this insane relationship. Vaisey made him feel soiled, even if he had never done anything in this arena that he could be ashamed about. He mentally washed himself of the Sheriff. He felt so true, so himself, so free, so... pure, yes, as pure when he was in Marian's arms.

Vaisey continued to whisper to his Master-at-Arms about how lucky Guy was to be alive because of his importance while moving around him like a snake, coming closer at every pace. Guy was far away mentally, reliving the sweet and ardent moments he had this morning (was it just this morning?) with his Lady wife. She was the only woman who had captured his heart and his passionate desire. She made him feel alive and complete for the first time in his life. He needed to free himself to this masquerade of a man to be the man Marian wanted him to be.

" _I want you to be…you, Guy. I want you to be the real man you are._ " He heard her voice repeating this sentence for at least the hundredth time, drawing his strength from it. He was ready to tell the Sheriff to give him his freedom!

A hand in his shoulder made him jump in surprise and he drew back, jerking Vaisey's hand off of him in the process. The older man laughed, even if his eyes showed how he did not appreciate Guy's behavior.

"Tsk, always so shy, my dear Gizzy."

He sighed dramatically and added: "Well, as I already said, nothing will rob me of my joy today! So, where was I...? I mean before I showed you my appreciation of yourself, of course."

Vaisey giggled and Guy shifted awkwardly one foot to the other.

"Ah yes! Lord Carrington."

The Sheriff went back to his desk, sat on his chair, and put his feet on the desk while finally explaining the reason for his glee.

"You know how I worried about Carrington and his reluctant desire to help us with the Treaty? He finally agreed, but only because you threatened the life of his wife and children."

Guy wanted to lower his head under the weight of shame at the memory of that day but he could not reveal anything more to his master which would put him at risk. Nevertheless, Gisborne was crushed by the guilt he had felt then and still did.

* * *

_ Several months before _

It was past dusk when Gisborne arrived at Lord Carrington's castle. He was directed to the Great Hall and announced but not before he heard children's laughter coming from inside.

The place was not large, but perfectly fit for a family. A large hearth lit and warmed up the place. Two armchairs were placed in front of the fire, separated by a rug and many cushions where the children were playing.

Carrington had been impressed and a little frightened to see the dark face of the Sheriff's Right Hand arriving so late at his home but he had received him with the honors. He offered Guy a seat near the hearth and a cup of his best wine. His lady wife, a beautiful young brunette with huge green eyes, Lady Cyrielle and their children came to salute him with warm and welcoming smiles.

One little boy, not more than three years old, watched Guy while sucking on two of his fingers. He whispered with awe:"You're so big."

"Anthelme!" his mother scolded him sweetly.

"Don't talk like that to our guest, please, dearest."

"But it's true, Mum..."

Everyone started to laugh at the child behavior, Guy's face lightened and softened as he remembered another child, a little girl this time, who had said the same thing years past. Marian. She had the same reaction when she saw him the first time. No fear. Just awe. She desired to be around him because the older man seemed reassuring and protective. He could feel the same in the eyes of little Anthelme as he looked to the dark knight.

Suddenly, Guy's heart clenched, his face becoming hard again. His mission came forth from the back of his mind; he was not here to befriend this man and his sweet family. He was to frighten Carrington into obedience to Vaisey.

Never before had Guy felt so ashamed of himself and so disgusted by his work. How could he harm this family who seemed so happy together and so full of love?

Guy's family had never been as close as Carrington's. He had never addressed his dearly loved mother as "Mum". But he knew his parents loved each other deeply and that Ghislaine would have given her life for her children. Even Roger had been fond of Isabella and Guy. His father demonstrated his affection via acts rather than words.

Vaisey's evil nature was more than evident in this mission and Gisborne's heart ached at the realization. The Sheriff knew perfectly that Carrington was not greedy for wealth or property; the only thing he valued more than his life was his loving wife and their five children, the latest of them, Paulin, feeding at his mother's breast with a little blanket over his head and his mother's chest to secure their intimacy in front of Vaisey's emissary.

Being in the same room with this loving family was more than the dark knight could endure. Gisborne's longing for a family of his own assaulted him with envy, making him shiver with desire. A desire to run away from here, and despite her current hostility, to woo Marian, wed her, make love to her and sire their child, to show her how much he loved her and how happy they would be - if only she would give him a chance.

The heavy sigh that escaped his lips surprised him, and helped him to regain his mind. But with reality, the horrible meaning of his mission overwhelmed him again. Horrible? Yes, horrible he realized.

Since his parents' deaths, Guy had shut his feelings off to be able to do everything necessary to ensure his sister's and his own survival. Guilt was nonetheless always present in his mind, devouring him little by little, darkening his soul more each day. It ate each piece of kindness remaining in him until he was empty. Or at least, that was what he thought had happened to him.

Until he met this incredibly pure and kind woman who turned upside down his world, his head, his heart... his very soul.

Initially, she would not have called him the Sheriff's "puppet". But at each of their encounters, she disseminated in his mind her belief that he was not as bad or dark as he thought. Maybe he could change and become the man he should have been, the man of whom his mother could be proud to call her son.

Unprepared to hear her words and too afraid to acknowledge the serenity this simple idea created in him, in fear to lose this as he had lost everything everyday of his life, he had, at first, ardently fought her words and the feelings she brought forth in him.

This night at Carrington's, he began to think of what she tried to make him understand. Most of all, his heart and soul desired Marian's approval and love. The desperate need gnawed him deep inside. Overwhelmed, he felt lost. He had no choice other than to obey to the Sheriff and deliver the threatening message to this man. But how could he do that? How could he destroy the peace, harmony and love of this family when they embodied what he truly wanted more than anything in the world?

"Sir Guy, as much as I appreciate your kind visit to my humble home, I can't help but wonder what is the real meaning behind your visit." Carrington's hesitant words stirred Guy from his daydreaming, making him wiggle awkwardly in his chair.

He was taking a deep breath to prepare himself to deliver his message when Lord Edgar's oldest daughter, Colombe (a beautiful slender teenager with long fair curly hair and her mother's huge green eyes) came to stand in front of Guy. Her coy glances had too much earnest interest for Guy's own taste. She curtsied without breaking her glance and said in her sweet voice:

"Sir Guy, please, tell me, have you been to Court?"

"Yes, I have and often." he answered grumpily, ill at ease with the admiration of this young girl.

"Oh, that is so wonderful. Did you hear that, papa?" she turned to her father with a huge bright smile. "Sir Guy is a regular visitor to Court. So, you see, I already known someone there. Oh papa, you need to let me go to London. Please, dear papa."

Her hands were folded as if in prayer in front of her chest, and her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"I apologize Sir Guy, for my children's behavior tonight." Lady Cyrielle sighed deeply,

her cheeks flushed.

"Colombe, please, let your father's guest rest!"

"Do not worry. She is not bothering me."

As soon as Guy said those words, he regretted them for young Colombe's eyes widened and she fluttered her lashes flirtatiously.

"It is my entire fault, my Lord, I'm afraid. I promised at my little sunshine here," Lord Edgar said while ruffling his daughter's hair – an offended "Dad!" escaping Colombe's mouth at being treated like a child in front of the man she wanted to impress - "that I will accompany her to Court for her fifteenth birthday."

"Two months from tomorrow." glowed Colombe, lowering her lashes while looking at Guy.

"A good birthday gift, truly." Gisborne said casually.

"I would have preferred to present my daughter at King Richard's Court" (The Master-at-Arms couldn't help but tense at Richard's name) "but she will only turn fifteen once in her life. I am a man of my word. I promised her and will do everything in my power to keep my promise, even if it means I to have to bear with a self-absorbed Prince."

"Edgar!" Lady Cyrielle's voice was just a whisper, but her terror and surprise was strongly felt in her desperate cry to her husband.

Guy's heart was crushed as he witnessed the intense look of love the couple shared. A look that conveyed a request for care, her fear of losing her husband, his remorse for frightening her and the love of his lady wife. Would Guy one day share all those feelings just by one look with Marian? Oh, God, he longed to be overwhelmed by such feelings without uttering a word.

"I am sorry, Sir Guy." Carrington said after coughing awkwardly. "I would not say anything against our dear Prince."

"Don't worry, I understand."

Guy wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible or he wasn't sure he could.

"Will you be there, Sir Guy?" Colombe's voice distracted him from his dark thoughts.

"Excuse me, my Lady, you said?"

"Will you be in London, at Court, in two months? I look forward to seeing you there."

"Colombe!" This time both her parents reacted to the boldness of their eldest child.

"Sir Guy is a very kind guest and I will be very happy to meet him again." She smiled at him as if he were the sun brightening a sad winter day. If only Marian could look at him this way, he would elope with her at once, kissing her with all his love, and loving her ardently until he overwhelmed her with his passion. Well, he should calm his thoughts or his passion would soon take possession of him.

When he looked back at the scene in front of him, he saw that Lady Cyrielle had taken her daughter to the side of the room and was lecturing her quietly for her forward behavior. He couldn't help but smirk as he saw that the rebel nodded to her mother as if listening while she was glancing sideways at him.

This girl had real potential for seduction and mischief, Gisborne admitted inwardly, slightly amused. Her father would have to keep a close eye on her. She was surely a beauty and will turn everyone's head and heart at Court. He just hoped Carrington's earlier words that Prince John will be too occupied by his love for himself to notice her were right or they would have to face difficulties the tender father did not have imagine.

Oh God! He was here to threaten the life of Carington's family, not to be treated like a friend. He was not to worry about their well-being or to be the cause of young Colombe's first broken-heart.

He really needed to take control of the situation before it was too late and he became too emotionally involved with these people to accomplish his mission. What spell had this family cast on him? For he felt human with them. He felt at home, seated in this chair in front of the warm hearth, surrounded by those happy children, this loving couple. Little Anthelme was standing at the right side of his seat, his fingers again in his mouth, looking at him with veneration for he was "a true Knight, like the ones in the stories Papa read to him each night." Young Colombe was making her best to show him how glad she was to have meet him and how truly attracted she was.

Oh dear! Marian had really ruined his life! Now, in these moments, he was not the terrible Sheriff's henchmen but just a man with feelings, who wanted to laugh, who wanted to be in Carrington's place for only an instant, just to feel how complete and truly happy he seemed.

Finally, his torments ended when Lady Cyrielle declared it was time for the children to go to bed. Of course, the children were reluctant to obey because having a real Knight at home was an event they were not used to but after a severe "Children!" shouted by their loving but fair father, they didn't discuss anymore. One by one, they kissed their father's cheeks and bowed in front of Guy. Loup and Sylvestre, the 8 and 12 year-old boys, wished him good night and god speed in case he was not to be at the morning table.

Colombe bowed slightly and blushed deeply, repeating how happy she was to meet a friend of her father. Even as her words pricked at his heart, Guy lowered his head in acknowledgment and gave her hand in a courtly kiss, only the touch of his breath brushing over her knuckles.

"I am sure my Lady will find her happiness at Court. Many young men will be overwhelmed to meet such a fine and beautiful young lady."

"But you...?" she began, disappointed by his words as he did not speak of himself, but flattered at the thought she could have several suitors.

"My Lady should not bother to think of someone as old and dark humored as me. You will find better catch. Be sure of it."

Colombe thanked him with a sweet smile and wished him earnestly to be happy himself. She turned to join her mother who was waiting for her at the door. As Guy's eyes met Carrington's, he mouthed a muted "thank you" to Guy for having quickly snuffed an infatuation that could only have broken the young girl's heart. Gisborne nodded in answer.

Anthelme, the last to bid his goodbye, tugged at his tunic and said through his fingers: "I will be a Knight too one day! We will fight together!"

Overwhelmed by those earnest words, Guy put one knee on the floor, slowly unsheathed his sword halfway and presented the sheathe to the young boy. Bowing his head, he said gravely "If God gives me life till then, when the need arises, I will be by your side, young Knight. This I swear!"

Anthelme's parents gasped reverently, knowing that when a Knight made an oath, he would keep it at cost to his own life if needs be. Of course, the young boy couldn't understand the true meaning of the vow Gisborne had just made to him, but somehow he felt the importance of the moment. Surprising everyone, he closed the distance to the Knight and wrapped his little arms around his now forever friend.

As soon as Guy felt the little body hugging him, he let down his sword and closed his own arms around him. He had never held a child before (except his sister when she was younger) but this was different. This child was not repulsed by his darkness, by all the sins he had committed his all life. Unconsciously, this child had seen through him, had touched the real part of Guy's heart, the one Marian was sure lived again, the one Gisborne was so sure had never existed.

The Knight didn't know what moved him the most, the warm hug given so earnestly by the little boy or all the things this simple gesture revealed of what the child's perception of him. For several moments, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation, imagining he could someday hold his own son this close to his heart. Moisture gathered at his eyes as feelings overwhelmed him. One thing was certain as soon as Anthelme broke the hug, Guy felt deeply empty and he knew that only Marian and their child could make him feel whole forever.

As the child ran to his mother, he looked over his shoulder and waved to Guy, earning a sweet smile from the Knight.

"May I guess that you have no child of your own, Sir Guy?" Lord Edgar asked. He himself was moved by what just happened between this seemingly hard man and his son.

"Not yet, but someday..."

Guy suddenly cleared his throat and stood up. Turning to his host, he spoke with haste and determination.

"Lord Edgar, you need to listen to what I have to say to you. Do not argue. If you refuse, the lives of your family will be in danger. I know my request will be repulsive for you but I can imagine what the Sheriff will do to your loved ones if you refuse. Now that I know them, I cannot bear to see any harm come to them."

"That wasn't what you were sent to say, or am I wrong Lord Knight?"

"You are right. I was here to cause your ruin and destruction if you refused to obey the Sheriff's orders. Now, I will do my best to help and protect all of you."

"What made you change your mind, Sir Guy?"

"A little boy who bound my heart to his by a oath I will keep 'till the end of my days."

* * *

_Present day_

Guy was overwhelmed by the memories of his first encounter with Carrington and his family; he thought he would die of guilt, pain and sorrow as the Sheriff added, his words laced with mad laughter.

"Well, he will not be a problem to me anymore! Neither will his family be a problem to me, or anyone else by the way." 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As my usual beta couldn't work on this chapter, I had to find another one to help me out. So, thank you a lot Karen for your help and your support!
> 
> I want to thank everyone for the attention you give to my story, for the kudos and for the comments :)
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains some elements that will perhaps be a little tougher than the Teen and Up audiences could have. So please, when reading this chapter, proceed with caution.
> 
> A rape and the murder of small children are mentionned even if not in explicit terms.
> 
> If you think something is really inappropriate, don't hesitate to ask me to high the level rate.

Chapter 15:

"Well, he will not be a problem to me anymore! Neither will his family be a problem to me, or anyone else by the way."

Guy couldn't comprehend the words which resonated in his mind. He knew their meaning but couldn't or rather wouldn't allow his heart to understand them or he was sure his heart will break in millions pieces. It was as if those words had taken his breath away, as if his reason was unbalanced and the madness was close.

He finally raised his head up even if he hadn't realised he had lowered it and looked at Vaisey who was dancing in front of him, laughing wildly.

How could he ever free himself of this mad man ? This man who was celebrating the death of a whole family... rejoicing on the death of one foe, Guy could understand that – how many times had he dreamed of the happy day where Robin will finally disappear ?- But how could it be possible to anyone to celebrate the slaughter of a whole family... a woman and 5 innocent children...

Anthelme... Anthelme was dead. When Guy realized the meaning of these words he had to suppress a nausea. He had bound his life with the boy, he had promised him to be at his side to protect him, to fight his battles with him and finally... like always, he had failed to keep his promise, he had failed to keep his pledge, he had failed his friend... who will be the next person he will fail? Could it be Isabella or even worse... Marian ?

As soon as he thought of her name, a fury took place in his heart endangering his sanity by his power : he would never allow such thing to happen again not to Isabella nor Marian, particularly not to Marian! He would protect her 'till his last breath and at this instant he knew that whatever the coast he would fight 'till his death to protect the woman he cherished more than everything in this world.

"How could you do that ? "

Vaisey's stilled as soon as he detected the loathe in his henchman's voice. Never had he felt it so strongly and something like fear ran in his blood.

What ? " asked he uncertain.

" How could you kill a whole family ! 5. children. Of which. An infant. " the volume and deepness of Guy's voice and the rage in it increasing with his emphasized word.

" I didn't kill them myself... " Vaisey's voice sounded awkward, a feeling the Sheriff was unaccustomed to experience.

" Stop playing with words !" the younger man spat while clenching his gloved fists as to restrain himself to throttle his master. "You ordered it. That's exactly the same thing. How could you do that ? I knew that you weren't afraid to resort to unworthiness but... this... this is unbelievable... even from you ! "

The Sheriff narrowed his eyes and relaxed obviously as a sparkle of understanding flashed in his eyes.

" Ohh Gizzy... are you becoming sentimental ? Don't tell me that you dream to have some of those little filthy things... who smell, cry and waste everyone's life, with your precious leper ? Really ? You thought of that ? " He laughed showing the wolfy smile that always irritated Guy so much. " First of all, you would need to get her out this convent and she seems to prefer the company of the nuns to yours... "

Guy's fury raised with each words... this man was really mad, didn't he understand that every time he opened his mad, mouth he made things worse?

" Second of all…", Vaisey had started to walk to Guy and was now facing him, full of his self-confidence, looking on his subordinate's eyes with spite. " Your ability to sire children will depend on my pleasure... Your precious leper's life and yours are in my hand, don't forget it... and play nicely ! If I was allowed to order the slaughter of an entire family, do you think it will be complicated to me to make disappear a simple... woman or even you ? "

Guy couldn't help but shiver at the hatred he perceived in his master's voice. He couldn't unleash his raging feelings or it would be the end of him or the end of the love of his life and he knew perfectly what will be the worst for him.

" Did you have to kill the children too, I mean at least the youngsters ? They meant you no harm."

Gisborne's voice was deeper and quieter as ever as he tried to take control of his feelings. He knew asking such a question would make him seem weak in Vaisey's eyes but he couldn't help needing to understand the reasons of such a hateful act.

In the meantime, if he had been less anguished, Guy would have known his question was of no use as Vaisey had already shown his lack of mercy even for the children when he ordered the murder of the kids Gisborne kept captive, hiding them while he tried and find a way to free them from the Sheriff's wrath.

Most certainly what happened to Seth should have restrained Guy's questioning further. When Annie told him he had sired her child, saying he wasn't happy was an understatement. He really liked the girl and the moments of pleasure they shared together, but that was all. She helped him to forget Vaisey and his madness for a while even if she couldn't ease his longing for Marian. He even had to admit at some point he fantasised he was with Marian when in Annie's arms and those were the most tender moments he had known... till he finally shared Marian's passionate embrace.

So when Annie told him for the baby, he was ashamed he had used the poor girl like he did. He hadn't thought to have children before at least not without Marian as mother. Worse still, was that not being able to marry the girl made her and their son a real target to Vaisey. As soon as the snake would discover Guy had a child, he will become a means of pressure against Gisborne. At least one more! But Seth becoming a new means of pressure would not be the worse case. Vaisey could simply decide to kill the babe because of the Sheriff's incredible possessiveness when Guy was concerned. Particularly as Guy became more and more distant with the older man. This toodler could be seen as a spare rival in his subordinate's heart – Marian being one the bald man had already a bad time to deal with. The Master-at-arms needed to free the baby from this thread – and released himself to Vaisey's grip was a good idea too.

So, soon after, Seth's birth, he settled a way to keep him safe by sending him to the Abbey of Kirkley. Damn! If only the soldiers did what they were ordered to do! They let the babe in the wood thinking nobody would know and pocketed the money... well, they had paid for their crime as soon as Guy discovered it! For once, he took great pleasure in punishing those men who tried to kill his own child!

Luckily now Seth was safe and sound with his mother being watched carefully by a man Guy send to work on the house where Annie found employment. If Vaisey or one of his henchmen came near to the two of them, Erick would protect them with his life and send for Guy's help. At least he had succeeded to save Seth and his mother... well he owed Robin a big deal for this one ,Guy must admit, even if it made him feel sick.

" Of course I had to kill the children, even the youngsters. When you need to get rid of someone you can't allow his sons or daughters to live, or you will have to face them some day... and I have other projects more exciting than to justify myself or to watch my back to my last days ! "

 _If only it was in my power, they will come sooner than you expect them..._ thought Guy inwardly wishing for the nth time.

" But the two youngsters are... were…", Gisborne started again closing his eyes for an instant to bear the immeasurable pain he had felt at the thought of their loss "... too little to have real remembers of what happened. They probably will never know who deprived them from their family."

"Of course they would never know as I didn't do anything myself. But don't underestimate children and revenge. I thought you would be the one to know that, don't you?"

Guy felt a surge of hot hatred running through his body at the thought of how much he needed to take his revenge on those who destroyed his life and family. To get a grip on himself, he put his hand on his mouth as if to keep inside all the words likely to betray the turmoil of his feelings.

"Yeah... I was certain you were familiar with those feelings." Vaisey said with a maddening smile. "But I think you will be interested to know what made me decide to never let offspring live when you need to be done with someone."

The younger man wasn't sure he really wanted to know more on the subject but maybe while his master would be lost in his telling, Guy could use the time to gather his thoughts and tame his guilt and distress at least for now. He couldn't afford to show more of his frustration and sorrow or the evil snake would use them against him and worst against the only loved ones left, Isabella and Marian.

"When I was twelve," started Vaisey while sitting on his chair behind his desk, taking a little bird on his hand and starting to stroke it carefully "one night, a man broke into my family's house and put a knife to my father's throat. He was his debtor and the man was tired of waiting for his money back, so he came to take my father's life in exchange. The commotion woke me up as my sister Davina... do you remember her?"

The Sheriff was silent for a moment as his thoughts drifted to his late sister, her death another courtesy of Robin Hood... but for once, Guy couldn't help but be thankful for this loss cause the woman was as mad as her brother with her passion for lethal snakes...

"Yes" he added finally to allow Vaisey to continue his telling. The sooner he finished the faster Guy will be free to escape this wretched place and start grieving... again.

"Well... Davina and I entered my parent's room and we discovered my mother hiding at the corner of the room, the man threatening my father while this one squealed to obtain mercy. As soon as the man saw us, he hesitated and finally let go of my father, telling him he gave him one more week to pay his debts. Once the man left us, my father remained on the ground, crying while my mother, my sister and I tried to gather our thoughts..."

"This man was merciful because of you and your sister" Guy started "he let your father live..."

"And that was his worst mistake!" the other man spat through gripped teeth.

Vaisey's eyes narrowed and his hands closed tightly against the little bird which produced a little noise. Guy's guts started to move making him feel sick at the thought of another death right in front of his eyes but he felt relieved when he saw the little bird move its head a little, as it tried to free itself.

Seeing that life was still in this so tiny body, a wave of hot hatred crossed Guy's body. As he clenched his fits and his jaw so hard it hurt, he swore on his own life that he would chop Vaisey's head if the mad man killed the bird. Of course he hadn't considered the consequences of his act but at this moment he couldn't care less. He hadn't be able to protect and save Anthelme's life but he would protect this little and so precious life with his last breath!

"It took me 15 years but I finally found this man again. I sneaked in his house at night and woke him with a blade at his throat. At first he didn't recognize me so I had to remind him the events of our previous encounter." Now a large and sickening smile sprawled on Vaisey's face as his eyes were lost in his memories. "The man was abashed when he placed me and he started to stammer that he had been merciful for my father so he didn't understand why I would kill him now."

Vaisey's sick laugh resonated in the room increasing Guy's uneasiness; if only he hadn't met this devil, if only the only way for him and his sister's survival had been different, if only he had met someone else to help him... but no. There had been no one else at the time; only this snake who sucked every thoughts of hope even the tiniest.

"I told him it was the very reason for which I will kill him!" Hatred and passion disputed in Vaisey's tone now. "I told him that by not killing my father that night, he had made my life a living hell. This night, my father revealed the coward he had always been and couldn't hide it again. He became the laughing stock of the village and with him all the family. I had to fight every day to show everyone I wasn't made of the same stuff! I fought every little comment, beating everyone who tried to defy me about my father. I never did it to protect this coward!"

"I told everything to this man as I started to press my blade against his throat showing a first blood drop. I added that once I butchered him my revenge will be complete he told me I was mistaken 'cause my real issue was with my father. I laughed at him and, as I slide my dagger across his throat and heard his desperate intake of breath, I whispered in his ears that he had already paid, I killed him the night of my seventeen years enjoying his tormented cries before leaving the house forever."

A pure wicked laugh burst in the room while everything seemed to vanish across Guy. This man was the devil himself, there was no way to escape him. But he needed to find one as soon as possible to at least secure Marian's life and Isabella's one if possible but he would not have a way to free himself unless he killed this... no word came to his mind to describe such a monster.

"That's why I never let the offspring live! Even when you think you done a good thing, they can see it as an horrid one and hunt you down to kill you!"

"So... you ordered to kill them all." Guy's voice was blank.

"Not really. Of course, I wanted Carrington's death but in fact, I didn't have to give the order. The news came as a gift... "

Guy had to fight a wave of nausea with all his will.

" A gift someone made to me, specially ! Can you imagine this, Gizzy ? You are my henchman and this gift should have come from you because your first duty and desire are to please me, aren't they ? "He smiled when he saw the younger man's jaw unclenching and clenching again and added: "But now, it had to come from another man... a stranger... at least, he was a stranger, no he is more than a friend to me."

" A friend?"

"Are you jealous, Gizzy? Ohhh, that's so cute! Don't you find that cute, little bird?" Vaisey's grip on the bird lightened and he started again to stroke it. "I finally find a way to drive my Gizzy jealous! Forgotten your so cherished leper, isn't it Gizzy?"

At those teasing words filled with so much innuendo, Guy couldn't but reach for the pommel of his sword, ready to slash it through Vaisey as more words would be uttered. But his master was quick to see his response and even if his eyes gleamed he decided to change the subject.

Raging madness was eating the Sheriff's heart since a few months now and no one but Gisborne was the reason! The master could not be sure of Guy's actions anymore. Since this woman had entered in his life, she had found a way to be on his skin and his heart, changing in part his way of thinking, including compassion – Vaisey couldn't suppress a shiver at the notion – and tenderness. It was as if each more day she lived, Guy was more lost to him. The older man had tried everything to separate them but even far away she seemed so close to the handsome younger man, closer than he would ever be, and this idea was undermining him! He had to find a way to make his subordinate suffer for that! Showing Gisborne that his place was more at risk than ever – if not his life 'cause for now Vaisey was not ready to lose him so totally – could be the best way to get him back even if it was only a little part of him.

Guy had to summon all his willpower to prevent his wild temper to take the best of him. He needed to calm down if he wanted to succeed. He needed to obtain the permission to leave his master, at least temporarily. He would use this time to take Marian and Isabella, if he succeeded to free her, to a place where Vaisey's ire would never hurt them anymore... he probably would have to come back to his devilish master but if it means the safety of the two women he loved the most, it was worth the try!

"So..." Gisborne's voice was almost casual even if his body made him ache with the strength he needed to use to hide his desire to murder the Sheriff. "who made this... incredible gift to you?"

"Curious aren't you, Gisborne?" The sneaky behaviour was back on Vaisey but he soon let down the teasing tone as he saw the younger and powerful man in front of him clenching his jaw. He let escape a nervous laugh and started again locking his eyes with his subordinate's one.

"Let's start from the beginning will you? This morning at dawn, a stranger asked to see me and nobody knows better than you how I hate to be disturbed so soon in the morrow except if you're the one disturbing me, of course..."

Guy couldn't help but rolled his eyes to the ceiling in annoyance so the Sheriff resumed his tale.

"When I told the man to go to hell to wake me up so early, he insisted to talk to me, telling me he had a news which would make my day. As you know how curious I am, I couldn't help but wanted to listen what this man had to say... even if I was more than ready to ordered my guard to hang this stranger if the news wasn't at my taste."

Gisborne sighed deeply at the Sheriff's antics, finding it harder and harder to bare constant jabbering of his master. If only he could urge the bald man to tell get to the point, Guy would finally be free to go and let his Vaisey's anger escape without consequences.

"Incredibly though..." continued Vaisey unaware or not willing to take care of his subordinate's state of mind "... the news was good! So good!"

"Who is this man?" cut harshly Gisborne not wanting to hear again about the elimination of the Carrington's family.

"Gizzy you spoil all my fun..." , the older man sighed dramatically while stroking gently the tiny bird. " But I can't be quiet any longer so I will oblige you. You see? Never tell me again I don't take care of your desire you rogue!"

The throaty angry groan which escaped from Gisborne was enough to put Vaisey on the right pace.

"The name is Raoul Tavernier. I had never heard this name before."

"Neither have I", answered Guy.

"How strange..."

"Why?"

"You say you never heard of him before but he seems to know you very well..."

"Really?" Finding that this stranger knew him put Guy's stomach in an uneasy way. Putting his hand on his mouth to hide his awkwardness, he searched his memory for any cue of a previous encounter.

" Anyway, he told me that he heard of my displeasure concerning Carrington and he decided to put an end to it."

"How gracious of him" Guy, grumbled sarcastically.

"Indeed, I thought the same. Tavernier told me he started to survey the family a week ago, noting every change in the guard, every moment when Carrington was out of the house to find the better moment to strike. It seems that our friend had become suddenly very careful of his safety..."

Guy felt a wave of a strange relief to think that at least Carrington had followed his advice and try and protect better his family. But the sorrow overwhelmed the Black Knight instantly as the thought of what happened to them hit him again.

"... for all the good it gave him" at that Vaisey burst in a mad laugh that send shivers all over Guy's body. Feeling again how tense his henchman was, the Sheriff became serious again and resumed his telling: "Finally yesterday at night, during the changing of the guard, Tavernier succeed to enter the castle after having killed a guard and put on his uniform. He snaked around the house until he ran into the elder daughter of our friend..." - _Colombe!_ \- "he told me how beautiful she was and how sweet was her smile when she bid him good night. He added that as he watched her smiling face changing into a grimace while he buried his sword on her chest he thought he would have loved to enjoy all of her charms if he hadn't been so in a rush."

Guy couldn't suppress both the gasp of horror this revelation create in him and the silent prayer of relief to God that her death had been quick and that this monster didn't rape her. Would he have to hear how terrible each death had been? His guilt wasn't already too much to bear that he will have to hear and remember every detail of this massacre? But what choice did he have now? If he reacted too much it will only prove to his Master how "weak" he had become, putting him and the remainder of his loved ones at risk. He needed to become numb again as he had had to be since so long. For once, he wasn't grateful to Marian to have awakened his human side as it made him felt too deeply those incommensurable loss.

Unaware of the great distress his henchman experimented, the Sheriff continued to tell the disastrous and horrible end the Carrington's family had been through.

"Killing the boys had been the most difficult cause the two teenagers tried to fight back and as they were very agile it had been a real challenge... The several guards who tried to interfere were quickly thwarted as Tavernier once in the place had opened the doors to some of his friends who helped him to take control of the castle. His greatest moment had been when in front of the amazing Cyrielle of Carrington. The beautiful lady tried to defend herself with a dagger she had near to her until Tavernier promised her nothing will happen to her children if she gave herself willingly to him."

Guy thought he would die at this moment. This man had killed all her children and he had been cruel enough to play with her mother's feelings, to use her. Guy's eyes were burning with unsheathed tears as he swore to God and to Carrington that he will revenge every one of them and make this monster pay for every pain he had caused to them.

"The man is a real monster, Gizzy and believe me I know the matter first hand! Can you believe that?" Vaisey stroked the bird's head while swinging on his chair, having trouble to talk so much he was laughing. "Tavernier told me how much he had enjoyed hearing her desperate sobs afterwards when he revealed to her she had given herself for nothing as everyone was already dead. He not even had to kill her as in a swift motion she took her dagger and drove it on her breast, sliding on the floor as if in slow motion."

Leaning heavily on the wall to support, Gisborne was as pale as a sheet and prayed God and Marian to help him keep his sanity as he felt it escape with each horrible word he heard. He needed to calm down but how could he do it again? The scene Vaisey told about was playing in front of his very eyes and it was as if he was a bystander incapable to prevent what was happening. Guy needed to put a distance between him and the account or he would lost hold of himself and in his fury would be able to slash the Sheriff here and now. And as much as this desire was deep and furious, it would only lead to more destruction, more disasters, more death.

"Finally, Carrington's was arrested as he had bravely fought with his men against the intruders. Tavernier told me he took a great pleasure to show him the corpse of his beloved wife, telling him how he had enjoyed her while she was alive. It seems Carrington's screams had been more desperate then than when he tortured him. Do you believe that Gizzy? The man had yielded to love" - Vaisey said this word as if it was the most disgusting ever - "and it made him suffer more than even losing his own soul and life... Do you really want to feel the same with your leper, Guy?"

"Not again..." warned Guy in a deep and low voice.

"Of course not, my dear, I just wanted to warn you of the danger of such a foolish attachment, that's all. We not want you to suffer a thousand deaths only because of a pretty face. And that what will happen if you allow someone to know what your weakness is as Carrington did!"

Guy had to admit Vaisey was right. His love for Marian was his deeper strength but it was too his greatest weakness as he would do anything to protect her.

"But as you said, this is not the matter. Before putting an end to Carrington's misery, Tavernier made sure the man knew who was responsible of his death and why he had been sentenced to death. This stranger is really impressive, Gisborne, really! Not only did he kill my foe only for my pleasure but he also interrogated him to discover who had warned him to double the guard..."

Instantly Guy's senses were on alarm. Had Tavernier discovered that Gisborne had been the one who betrayed Vaisey by advising Carrington to take measures of protection?

"Can you believe that the man said nothing even when he was suffering the most? The last word he escaped was the name of his wife... pfff how weak this man was!"

Weak? Certainly not. This man had suffered unbearable things but never gave Gisborne's name. He had protected him with his life and Guy wasn't sure he could deal with this thought. He wasn't worthy of such a sacrifice, not him. His guilt to not have been able to help and save Anthelme and the rest of this loving family was just crushing both his soul and his heart.

"Anyway, the important part is now I'm free of Carrington and of the threat of this betrayal! You can't imagine how happy I am! I wanted to thank and reward the man of course, he deserved it. But when I asked Tavernier what I could give him for his pain he surprised me even better. Do you know what he wanted?"

"How could I know, sir..." answered Guy in a blank tone.

"He wants your place, Gisborne, can you believe it? Your place!"

Gisborne lift up his head at the thought, panic suddenly taking place in his guts.

"And did you give it to him?"

"Of course not, Gizzy! You know first hand that you can only become Master-at-arms when the precedent is dead..." - Of course, the Sheriff's henchman knew this, he had been the one to kill De Fourtnoy, the late Master-at-arms. - "and I told Tavernier that even if I thought you weren't the same than before, becoming too weak and _tender_ to my taste, I wasn't ready to put an end to your life for now."

"Thank you" said Guy sarcastically.

"Don't rejoice yourselves too soon, Gizzy cause as soon as I said that, Tavernier told me that he wasn't in a rush. He was ready to wait, he just wanted me to swear he would have your job if something... happened." Vaisey's smile appeared showing his lacking tooth.

"Well, I hope he is ready to wait for a lifetime" grumbled Gisborne. Of course he didn't wanted to serve Vaisey so long but he was definitely not ready to die yet.

"Apparently he is ready to wait as much he will have to do. That's why I swore to give him your position."

"You really did that?" the low and deep rumble was a threat the older man couldn't ignore but he enjoyed to much the situation to put an end to his teasing. He had finally found a real way pressure on his subordinate and he was ready to use it as much as he could to have back his beloved henchman.

"Yes, I did it. The man needed a reward and this one was a good one for sure." His smile became sadistic as he continued: " Are you really sure you don't know this man?"

"I already told you..."

"Yeah, I know you did. But not only this man wants your job but he wants your life too."

"What?"

"Yeah. Guess what this man told me that his better reward? To have the great pleasure and honor to kill you, yourself when the time will come. I don't know what you did to him, Gizzy, but it seems you had a new foe and this ones seems to be very angry to you!"

As Guy processed what he just learned, Vaisey left his chair and walked to Gisborne, tsking and teasing: "You shouldn't be so harsh with your little chums Gizzy... every time we find a new one, is only desire is to kill you... tsss, that's not good... or at least, kill them before they had a chance to do it themselves."

The older man laughed and while keeping the bird on one hand, he put his other on Guy's cheek and patted it. Guy jerked his face instantly, a grimace of disgust across his face.

"Slowly my boy, slowly. You know how much I care for you and believe me, that's the reason Tavernier had not already your position. Without saying that your frame is more enjoyable to me that his..."

The Black Knight couldn't suppress the shiver of repugnance those words created in him. But if Vaisey saw it he didn't show it. He leaned to his Master-at-arms, inhaling deeply the male scent of the younger man, sighing with longing.

"I'm not ready to get rid of all this for now... for sure!" As he resumed his way to his desk, he pat Guy's nose with one big digit: " Never forget you are my pet, Gizzy. I gave you too much freedom till now but things will change. Now that Tavernier is here, I think I will keep you more in check."

"Will he stay at the castle?"

"Ahah, you would like to know, wouldn't you? Well, that's my secret. He will be here now and then. When and where I will need him. But don't worry Gisborne, I think you will never been away from his vigilant eye... If I had known it will help you to behave I would have acted this way before. Bless this man, thanks to him, I will have you back, Gizzy!"

Gisborne saw the little bald man starting to dance in merriment in the room and was more determined than ever to be ride of him. But how now that Tavernier will be here watching his every move? Who was this man and why was he so into him?

When the room was again filled with a heavy silent, Guy was send back to reality and found that Vaisey was now seated on his chair, a deep frown on his face.

"What the matter now?" asked the henchman grumpily.

"Carrington is no more and that's a good thing." - _Not again, please, don't talk anymore of him and his family, I couldn't bear it..._ \- "But some real troubles remain and I don't know how to deal with them."

"What troubles my lord?"

"Well, first and foremost Prince John, of course. This man is insufferable! So whiny with his incessant " _Do you love me?_ "," - Guy had to repress a chuckle as how well Vaisey imitate the Prince - "his stupid requests..."

 _It reminds me of someone else_ , thought Gisborne even if he would better not tell that out loud.

"The real issue is that I'm not sure that he is as stupid as he seems. And I don't want to learn how clever he is at my expense. So I don't know how to deal with him. I don't know how far I can trust him. I want this country to be mine and for now, I need his help and his support. But one day I will have to make him disappear and I can't take the risk he may learn my plans. And I need to survey him to prevent him doing something to endanger my purposes."

"Don't you have already someone watching his every move?"

"Of course, don't take me for a fool, boy! But not only do I need to spy on him, I need someone able to advise him and direct him to my way. I need someone I trust with my life for this job and sadly I trust no one!"

An overwhelming wave of hope went through Guy as he thought at the best way to free himself and Marian of The Sheriff. If only he could succeed, he would be far away from the mad man and could perhaps ask for the Prince's protection in exchange of informations concerning Vaisey's betrayal. He tried to subdue the enthusiasm taking place in his heart but he wasn't quick enough to hide the light that shone on his face for an instant.

"Gizzy? Why are you glowing my boy?" Vaisey's voice was suspicious, his eyes narrowing.

"What if..."

"What?"

"What if I got to the Prince and do everything you will ask of me to ensure his cooperation?"

"Ohhh Gizzy, you would do that for me?" The older man's voice was now syrupy but Guy was so full of hope that he didn't feel it.

"Of course, my Lord. I will do what is necessary to please you and help our... I mean your purposes."

"Oh kind of you..."

"I could watch the Prince, tell him how loyal to him you are, how you only want the greater good for the people and for himself... and gain him to your cause."

"But Gizzy, if you were to go to the Prince, you will not see your precious leper for a while..."

"It doesn't matter" lied Guy swallowing uneasily "she left me for the convent as you said... Maybe I should try to move on."

"Like that... you would be ready to let go this girl you mope about for so long?"

"Well, no I'm not ready yet" started Gisborne again as he felt he seemed to eager to be true. "But it will be easy to try and forget her if I am away."

It sound like a believable tale and that eased a little the Black Knight angst. He needed to be more clever in his wording or he would not succeed. He needed to be careful and not let his foolish hope to override everything.

"That would be a good thing for you to let her down for sure... and for me too as I would recover you as you were before." The bald man was tapping his finger against his lips as in deep reflection. "But Gizzy, if you were to go to the Prince" he started again, his voice whining as a child one, "you will let me alone here..."

"You will not be alone, my lord. You have all the guards, the castle inhabitants and... Tavernier."

"Such a distaste when saying this name" laughed Vaisey. "Well, yes, I will have him."

Guy's eyes shone at his master's tone because it was as if he really WAS giving the situation some thought. If he agreed, Guy would be able to take Marian away, and once sure to have the Prince's support, he could do his best to free his sister too. At least he would be free! No more humiliation, no more blackmail, no more beating... he could almost imagine what life could be with Marian at his side when he would be free from Vaisey's yoke.

"But..." this simple word made Guy frown. "...like I said before Tavernier is not _you_. If I wanted Tavernier to be near me, I wouldn't need you. And that's certainly not the case."

Guy tried to hide his disappointment.

"And... as I said before, I need someone I trust with my life for this mission. Or, my dear Gizzy, you know that I'm very disappointed by you since a while. You are weak, tender, distant... I even catch you smiling... do you understand me, Gisborne? _Smiling_! I don't even know what you think and you want me to send you to the Prince? Are you mad?"

Vaisey was angry now, squeezing a little too much the tiny bird that started to tweet again. The sound was enough to put again Guy's hand on his sword, ready to strike whatever the consequences.

Luckily for him and against all odds, the Sheriff put again the bird on his cage, freeing the poor animal who fly to the opposite side of his "home" to protect itself as much as he could.

The Sheriff walked again to Guy and shouted at him, tapping his big digit on his subordinate's chest at every word as to emphasize his thoughts.

"No. Gisborne. You. Will. Not. Go. Anywhere. You. Will. Stay. Here. With. Me. You. Will. Prove. Me. That. I. Can. Trust. You."

He finally stepped back a little and as quick as lightning, he unsheathed his dagger and put it at Guy's throat.

"You will prove me that you are mine, as you have always had been. You breath because I want it, you live because I allow it. Do you understand what I say?"

Despair took hold of Guy's every thoughts and behaviour and feeling the cold blade against his skin, he realised that he could never be free of the Sheriff. He let down a little his head in defeat while his master was glowing in triumph.

"You are _mine_ , for ever! For as long as I want it! If you try again to betrayal me or to leave me, I would kill you or I will let Tavernier do to you all the funny things he described me wanting to do to you. Better even, I could kill your precious leper..."

As soon as Guy heard that, he lifted his head suddenly practically pushing the blade against his throat.

"Careful Gizzy. If you kill yourself, you will never be able to protect this... woman again. And after everything Tavernier told me about his playful time with Carrington's wife, I'm not sure you would like him to turn around your... what is her name already?"

"Marian..." Guy whispered, broken at the thought of what could happen to his beloved wife. Tears were not running free to his cheeks, the pressure of his grief and despair too much to restrain them.

"Oh Gisborne, my boy" Vaisey said almost tenderly as he freed Guy's throat from his blade and wiped one tear away from the youngster's man cheek. "Don't be so desperate; as long as you are loyal to me your leper is protected. As much as I hate her, I promise you neither Tavernier nor anyone else will hurt her. But you need to stay with me and obey me, do you understand?"

Guy only nodded, unsure of his voice.

"Good... and it will be the same of your dear sister, of course." The Black Knight flinched at those words. "Now that we have an agreement, I think it is time for you to go check the sword practice; it's still your job after all."

Vaisey looked at Guy as he recovered enough to stand up after having lean so heavily on the wall. Gisborne nodded to his Master to bid his good bye and walked to the door, trying to contain the turmoil of all his feelings.

As soon as Guy escaped Vaisey's room, he leaned against the door, trying to ease his breath and the tension in his body. Allan who had waited for him came to him unsure of his master's state of mind and surprised by Gisborne's pale face.

"You okay?" he asked awkwardly. As Guy didn't answer to him, the young squire put his hand on the oldest man's arm but the way his master's arm muscles tensed under his touch made him take back his hand instantly. "Easy Guy! What happened in this dreadful place man?"

"Leave me be, Allan!" grumbled slowly the Dark Knight.

"Gizz, you feel weird..."

"Do you _really_ want to talk to me... _now_?!" Guy hadn't moved an inch and not even open in eyes but the thread of his tone and the shiver on his voice were enough to frighten his squire.

"Okay... I'm off to the swords practice ground. Don't forget you have asked everyone to come by this morning for training the rookies."

Guy didn't even know when Allan disappeared so busy was he trying to relax his body. How could it be possible to be so tense? All his body was shivering from the effort he had to do to not chop the Sheriff's head. Luckily for Guy and Vaisey, the tiny bird had safely get back to his cage.

Guy shook his head in disbelief... he would have been ready to kill his master just to protect a bird! What had happened to him? How could he have forgotten the consequences Nottingham and his inhabitants would have had to deal with if anything happened to this joke of a man?

Well... it was simple enough. For a moment, Gisborne hadn't thought at all. He had been so devastated by the news of Carrington's loss that he hadn't been able to contemplate anything else.

Carrington was dead... but not only him... Lady Cyrielle, his beautiful wife too... and sweet Colombe... and Loup and Sylvestre those two kids so full of life and... Anthelme... Oh God!

The grief was so great that it overwhelmed the Dark Knight who couldn't help but ran to the next corner of the hall and retched. Guy have had to deal with Death for the most part of his life but he had always did his best to protect the children... but here he hadn't been able to do anything...

Another time he had failed someone to whom he had pledged himself. How could he be so useless that he couldn't even keep his promise to protect someone... another time he was responsible of the death of one of his kin while he was ready to do anything to help him!

Will he be able someday to finally protect his loved ones? Was he cursed that every single person he became attached to had to suffer or die? Was he doomed to be alone for the rest of his insufferable life? Should he not have to let go of Marian too before she had to pay the price for the incredible moments of pleasure, tenderness and peace they had shared together? This simple thought was enough to tear again apart Guy's stomach with another wave of nausea while he leaned against the wall, his balance compromise.

When he was finally able to stand still, he started to walk to the stable trying to find a peaceful place to recollect himself. But as he did so he felt sorry for the servant who will have to clean his mess... he had never behaved this way before, something had changed in him... deep inside. And he knew who was responsible for it... it was for the most part an amazing woman Guy had loved since he had met her as a little child. For the other part it was because of a sweet kid who had overwhelmed Gisborne with his confidence in him while no one had ever believed in the Dark Knight before... well not since his parent's death anyway.

He had already lost too many people he cared for to be able to bear another one loss. He hadn't be possible to free himself of Vaisey for now and with this Tavernier on his heels Guy will have to be more careful than ever. But he would pull out all the stops to try and save Marian and Isabella.

In his state of mind, he hadn't even acknowledged the servants he crossed in his way to the stable. Even the stable man who after calling him several times to offer his help finally let Gisborne alone in his distressed thoughts.

Guy finally came to his horse's stall and clenched his now white hands on the fence while fighting the tears that threatened to fall. It was an unusual feelings... he hadn't cried since the day of the fire... when he had finally secured a shelter for Isabella and him. When he was sure his sister was fast asleep, he had let his tears fall freely, swearing it was the last time he would ever do that because he needed to be strong to assure their survival. It was so long ago now... and yet as the thought of Anthelme's loss invaded his mind and heart, Guy felt as lost and powerless had he had been then.

He needed to sober up and continue to pull the wool over Vaisey and Tavernier's eyes if he wanted to free himself and his beloved ones. But before that, he had to do something. He had to go to Carrington's estate to be sure that there was no survivor. He needed to check if someone was alive. It was fool to believe it but maybe... just maybe... someone could have succeed to hide themselves and Guy needed to do his possible to rescue them if there was any chance.

He was starting to call the stable boy to saddle his horse an incredible hope gnawing his stomach when Allan quietly came in.

"Guy... I don't want to be funny but..."

"What?" Guy cut harshly when his squire hesitated over talking.

"The men are waiting for you at the practice ground for some time now..."

"And?"

"Well... they asked me if you would come or if they had to start the training."

Training the men was part of the Master-at-arms' duty and Guy knew he couldn't permit to indulge himself much longer or he would be in default and he shouldn't allow this at all cost!

"I'm coming" he whispered with a deep sigh while raising his head and his eyes to the ceiling of the stable. Man, he really needed to catch himself and focus on the tasks at hand. He turned to Allan and his hand in front his mouth trying and hiding what remained of his unease.

"Tell Gillis to start the training, I will catch them then."

"Kay..." said Allan, leaving his master with reluctance. He knew something was wrong with Guy but he wouldn't dare to question him. He would simply have to wait till Gisborne was ready to talk or till the effects of what happened with the Sheriff will be visible.

As soon as he was alone, Gisborne whistled slowly and his stallion came to him, nudging its wet muzzle against Guy's shoulder while enjoying its master's stroking. This horse had always been Guy's only shelter against the world. He had only been able to buy it thanks to the money his sister's marriage had secured to him. It had been his only exuberance: a strong dark stallion, like the one his father had had when Guy was just a kid. Roger of Gisborne had often took his son with him on his horse during his wandering Those memories were the most cherished ones to Guy because he had always enjoyed riding against his father's chest, feeling warm and protected while learning how to take care of the family's domain.

Once he was sure he was calm enough to handle his duty, the Master-at-arms walked through the practice ground. He had finally succeeded to push his grieving thoughts aside and was now the cold man than his men waited to see.

Sadly, what he discovered once arrived was enough to cut through his pretence of calm. Two of the new guards, Mendel – a young lanky dark haired man – and the Scottish Travis were not training as they would have; they were playing with their swords while they weren't secured as if they were wood swords. What was Guy's undoing what when Travis ran to the other with his sword forward him, while Mendel decided to move at the last moment, trying to be brave but stumbled missing to impale himself to the sword within a hair.

Everyone around stilled and screamed in dismay at what could have happened. But Guy couldn't stay still in front of such foolishness. In three long strides he was hovering over Mendel and, taking the teenager by the front of his jacket he lifted him up quickly.

"Are you out of your mind?" he roared, shaking the young soldier harshly. "Do you really want to die?"

"No... no Sir Guy" stuttered Mendel. "We were just training ourselves, Sir."

"Training? Are you kidding me? You perfectly know your blades are not secured and you played as if they are made of wood! Do you realise you could have been killed when you tripped?"

"Sir, I'm not a kid anymore and I'm certainly not that bad with a sword!" Mendel exclaimed offended.

"What do you mean?" growled Guy while Allan and Gillis were sharing a worried look. "You really do think yourself so skilled with a sword?" he laughed ironically as if daring the soldier.

"Yes, Sir!" Now the young man was clearly outraged, his pride pushing him to act as a fool.

"Mendel, calm yourself!" Gillis exclaimed, trying to lighten the situation.

"Sorry Lieutenant but Sir Guy is assuming I can't fight... But I'm good with a sword, you already know it!"

"Mendel, stop right now!" Allan added with a loud whisper fearing how the situation will end. The smug smile his master had put on his face was not the most encouraging sign to dare him. Mendel would better be prepared to face the consequences if he continued this way.

Today was certainly not the best time to push Guy out of himself as tense as he was now. He had just learned the death of an entire family of friends of him and almost see one of his man being killed simply by stupidity. And now, he had to face a kid full of himself who was ready to die only to prove himself! What was wrong today! How could his life had turned so awfully!

Guy clenched and unclenched his fists several times, trying to relax himself and control his temper to not let the situation worsen. He had no other desire than to go to Carrington's Manor and every second he was held back from his purpose increased his fury.

"Why would I stop, I didn't do anything wrong..."

"So, will you calm yourselves and start your training as you have to do it or do you need a real lecture on how to become a good swordsman with the right amount of pride?" Guy's voice was threatening and his hand was now on the hilt of his sword, ready to be unsheathed if necessary.

"But I'm not a debutante! I will not let anyone say..."

"That's enough!"

Everyone stilled at Guy's cry, watching him as he had his sword in hand, his face as hard and unreadable as it had never been before. As soon as Mendel saw the sword he stepped back and understood how wrong he had been to push so far the skilled swordsman that was his Master-at-arms. But it was now too late; Guy wasn't capable to restrain himself anymore.

"You wanted to fight like a man? Well, now is the time to prove yourselves." Guy walked slowly to the young man who couldn't now suppress his fear and the drops of sweat on his forehead.

"Guy, please, he is only stupid, let him go..." started Allan but only one glance from his master quieted him.

"How surprising! One minute ago you were claiming how skilled you are and now you're acting like a coward?" Guy was daring Mendel, as much to humiliate the man who was ruining his plans to search after Anthelme as much in hope to have a good fight and be able to relieve the pressure and anger that were now overwhelming his inside.

"I'm not a coward..." the young man said trying to hide his angst.

"So, raise your weapon and fight... like a man. Now!" He roared when the young soldier stood still, making him jump in surprise.

Mendel looked around, hoping to find any support but even if he met some compassionate glance, no one dared to intervene, not when Gisborne was in such a fury.

"It's between you and me, young man. You wanted to fight, to prove yourself, so, do it!"

The soldier raised his sword and took his position to start the fight.

"You can launch the first attack, Mendel. Don't restrain it though cause I will not."

"But... you said yourselves the blade aren't secured..."

"And it hadn't prevented you to play the fool before. You said you were skilled and that you had already fought... if it's the case, you fought with real swords so everything is fine."

Allan and Gillis tried to walk to Gisborne to reason him but without even a look to them he said between clenched teeth: "Don't do anything stupid. This is between this big-headed rookie and me. He had a lecture to take and believe me, I'm more than ready and happy to give it to him."

Seeing that his opponent arm sword was shivering a little, Guy's lopsided smug grin increased as he added: "Don't worry, I will not hurt him... not too much" enjoying the way Mendel gulped loudly.

"Now, start the fight or I will do it. And believe me, you will not appreciate it."

Understanding it was best for him to obey for once, the young soldier launched an attack on Guy which was quickly dismissed.

"Really? That's all you can do? Start again!"

Mendel armed another blow and another and another and every one of them were easily blocked or deviated by the Dark Knight. Panic and weariness started to weakness the young opponent as much as every acerbic sentence Guy told the man at every failed attempt.

Allan and Gillis started to relax thinking the danger had been neutralized and what could have been a real disaster was simply now a good lecture well deserved by the arrogant brat. Guy was only warding off the blows like he did so many others time during the training.

Nevertheless, at one point, Guy couldn't bear the situation anymore. This man was not only wasting the precious time he could have used to search for any survival at Carrington's Manor but also he hadn't any skill with sword. He was a total failure and was too arrogant to even consider being in need to learn something.

"All right, I have enough of it! You wanted to fight like a man, now I will show you what it means!"

As soon as he said that, Guy started to attack his young opponent making him squeal in surprise as he tried to defend himself against a real swordsman. If the soldier wasn't of any good to lunge he was better to block. Seeing the start of a resistance, Guy continued to go forward, putting gradually more and more strength on his blows.

As he fought Mendel, Guy's rage overwhelmed him. So much so that suddenly, the young soldier trying to fight back his infuriated blows wasn't him anymore. To Guy's sorrowfull eyes, he embodied every person who had made Guy and his sister suffer so much. First Malcolm of Locksley who had stolen their mother, Ghislaine, and provoked the depart of their beloved father, Robert. Second, Robin of Locksley who by his cowardice and brat behaviour had almost made Guy's neck being hanged then pushed the Gisbornes' heirs out of their family home while he kept all the domain. Thirdly, Ghislaine's brother who had refused to shelter the two teenagers when they came starved to death at his door saying he hadn't anything to do with them as he had disowned his sister when she decided to marry Robert instead of the English's Lord he had provided for her.

At that point, Guy wasn't there anymore. He was lost in his memories, fighting with his guts more than his reason and that was that what scared everybody seeing the scene. The young soldier tried to fight back but called for help, feeling he couldn't resist long against the Master-at-arms' blows.

Assessing the situation, Allan tried to bring his master and friend to his senses but while fighting his opponent, by instinct, Gisborne jerked his elbow behind crashing his squire's nose in the process without even realising it.

The young soldier was now on the floor, trying to breath and to stay steady against the terrifying blows, his sword like a shield in front of his face as he prayed God to save his soul from the man he had always admired.

Gillis and some men called Guy's name, not daring to come to close as they knew first hand the power, agility and skills of their Master-at-arms but nothing seems to reach him.

The reason was the soldier was now Vaisey... Vaisey with his madding smile, his beady eyes, saying to Guy to look at this hands... in his frenzy, Guy obeyed and couldn't repress a shiver as his hands were now covered in warm blood... the blood of all the people he had to kill for Vaisey in order to protect his sister, the blood of his mother and father who he had killed while he accidentally burned their house, the blood of Carrington's family... the blood of Anthelme and little Paulin... but what brought him to his ultimate downfall was when he saw Marian's face appear in his hand, her beautiful and soft skin being quickly covered in blood while she accused him of being responsible for her death...

"No! Marian!" The scream of a dying beast exploded in the training arena stilling everyone by its torture and torment.

When finally, Allan with his face covered in blood and Gillis finally succeeded to reach the Master-at-arms without being hurt by him, they restrained him and called to him, trying and reasoning him.

"She's alive, Guy! She's alive. She's fine! Guy! Marian is alive!"

"Don't do that, Master! Mendel wasn't thinking. He will train more carefully now!"

"Think of Marian, she would not want for you to do that! Guy!"

But Gisborne was long gone and only stayed the scream of his stolen childhood and family, the loathe of his revenge, the strength of his despair, the agony of his suffering.

He finally succeeded to free his sword arm again and with another inhuman cry he winded a last powerful blow against his foe provoking a surprised scream in the assembly as the shock of the impact resonated.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic idea comes of the prompt I choose to do for the Bingo Ficathlon at the Robin Hood Fan Community forum.
> 
> The prompt was: "Marian accepts Guy's proposal at the end of 'Walkabout', both thinking that Nottingham is about to be destroyed. It doesn't happen. Now they're both left wondering what's next. Will Marian actually go through with the marriage this time? And if not, how in the world does Guy deal with the loss a second time?"
> 
> To explain the beginning of this fanfiction, I did a video "It's Our Fight". (You can see it at dolphen3's channel on Youtube.)
> 
> English is not my first language. Thank you brokenheirloom for your wonderful work as my beta.


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